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om_mainHaving gotten passed his paranoia of being outted by Sirius, Inu-yasha get curious again. Despite his own misgivings, Sirius plays along and gets carried away again.
WARNING: Making out with FTB, after the fade there is some reference to what happened during the fade. More importantly, Inu-yasha's internalized homophobia is a driving force for much of the conversation, mostly about shame and fear of outing/attack so avoid if those are big issues for you. There is also a moment where scars are compared, alluding to Sirius's past abuse and direct reference to an attack in Inu's past.
For Inu-yasha, those first days after he'd-- with Sirius--They'd been hell.
"Tense" didn't even begin to cover it. Everywhere he went, he was sure people knew. He kept waiting for someone to start the insults, to make snide remarks, to start a fight. The longer there was nothing, the worse he got. Was there something more elaborate planned? Were they all talking about it when he wasn't around?
So he did the only thing he knew how to do to get and keep respect - he glared and growled at people. If anyone thought he was weak or an easy target, he was out to change their minds.
When Sirius showed up at his room to return his sweatshirt, he'd hauled him into the room before anyone could see (and then gave him a piece of his mind). Sirius had insisted again (angrily) that he wouldn't tell anyone; Inu-yasha refused to believe him.
But that had been a week ago, and Inu-yasha still hadn't heard one word about it, from anyone. And he'd pissed off enough people with his aggression that, if they'd known, they definitely would've thrown it at him by now...
And in the meantime, he'd had almost no success in repressing thoughts about how good that thing in the woods had felt. How he'd never felt anything like that before, how his body was practically aching for more. Dammit.
So today, he'd been watching Sirius closely. Too closely, really, Sirius had caught him several times. When he finally encountered him in the hall of the boys dorm, he flat-out stared for a moment, not sure what to do. Then he frowned, turned to indicate his room with his eyes, then looked back to Sirius to see if he'd go for it. No matter what they had to say, he didn't want anyone overhearing it out here.
Sirius followed out of curiosity rather than anything else. He'd kept a distance since the other boy seemed to be spitting feathers at any memory of their little adventure and so the sudden attention had him curious more than anything. There was still annoyance, of course, but for the moment he was willing to hear him out, if that was what he wanted.
He followed the other boy into his room, looking around. He knew Roberto well enough but they weren't exactly buddies although they had more professional connections these days than most might expect actually.
"Did you want something?" He asked as he closed the door behind himself.
Ignoring the question, Inu-yasha just stared at him intensely for a moment. He was standing in the center of the room, trying to face this the same way he faced most things: head on.
He just... didn't know how that would pan out in this situation.
Finally, he just said the most important thing. "You didn't tell anyone."
"Uh no, I don't out people. I told you." Sirius pointed out.
Frowning, Inu-yasha blinked in confusion. "But you were pissed at me."
"Well yeah. I don't like being accused of shit I didn't do but I never out people, simple as." Was said back plainly.
Inu-yasha fidgeted, eyes sizing up Sirius, trying to make sense of him. ...and also a little nervous because now they were alone and part of him really, really wanted--
He stuffed the thought away, frowning again. "Why?" Another uncomfortable shuffle, but he met the other boy's eyes when he asked, "Why would you protect me?"
"Call it a code of honour if you like, but like I said I just don't out people. Call it protecting if you like." He'd have done it for anyone. He didn't believe in outing no matter the circumstances.
"Even people you don't like?" For Inu-yasha, this just didn't compute. He looked up at Sirius, still wary and guarded. This couldn't be real. "Even..." He looked away, uncomfortable with his question. "Even someone like me?"
"I'm honestly not sure what you're meaning by 'someone like you' but no, I don't out people even if I don't like the person. I'm not a douchebag, coming out is huge and I'd never deliberately do it to anyone." Jay had been a regrettable accident that he was still paying for.
Inu-yasha scowled and looked away.
"OK, now we've established that I keep my promise, is that all? Or did you want you yell at me again?" Sirius huffed.
No, Inu-yasha didn't want to yell at him - but he definitely didn't want to tell him what he actually wanted instead - so with a short leap, he settled on his bed, legs crossed and back upright, looking directly at Sirius. There was space for the taller boy to join him if he wanted, or there was the chair at the desk. Or maybe he'd just leave.
"Figured you'd tell someone and they'd come after me," he said, explaining himself without apology. He did flush a little, remembering how he'd reacted to Sirius touching his ears. There were plenty of details Sirius could've shared that people could use to make his life hell. "It's what most people would do."
The body langauge and scents coming off Inu-yasha, well, Sirius was confused now. Was he trying to come onto him? After all the shit he'd pulled? Talk about mixed signals.
Slowly, he sat in a desk chair. "Not people I want anything to do with. That's just not my scene."
Right. Sirius was apparently not like other people. No wonder he confused Inu-yasha so much. He narrowed his eyes a bit, not quite sure he understood right. "Scene?"
"It's not something I do. As we've now made thoroughly clear." Sirius nodded before telling him "I'd offer to try speaking Japanese for you but it would be so broken and rusty I'd probably accidentally insult you or something equally awful."
Inu-yasha had been frowning thoughtfully - he hadn't misunderstood - but then Sirius mentioned Japanese, which caught him off guard. He flushed pink when he realized what Sirius must think.
"My English is fine," he complained without much bite. Learning to speak without an accent had been crucial when he moved to the states. "You just say things that don't make sense."
"Your English is very good, I'm not knocking it. I use a lot of slang and forget there's not reason for you to know it. That's all. But yeah, your English is way better than my Japanese," A significant portion he'd learnt off of Shinobi and other party boys so definitely wasn't fit for conversational use.
"You've been to Japan?" Inu-yasha hated the question as soon as he asked. Of course Sirius could've been to Japan. He was rich or whatever, and lots of people around here traveled. "Work sent me once not long ago, most my Japanese has been learnt from friends which is probably why it's so terrible." Sirius explained with a small shrug. "My old school before here was very multinational too, mostly just means you pick up swear words from other boys though." He changed subjects perhaps suddenly but the scents Inu-yasha was throwing off were very distracting. "Last time we spoke you were a lot sharper with me, had a change of heart since?"
Inu-yasha flushed again at the word 'heart' and looked away. "Told ya, I thought you were gonna tell," he said, aiming for a disinterested tone. Before Sirius could get huffy about the subject again, he added, "I didn't think you'd keep your mouth shut."
"I meant, and don't hurt me for this, you seemed to have a problem in general with the making out, now you seem a tiny bit more relaxed about that and only the telling is the big thing. Fair to say?" He felt like he was walking on eggshells.
Inu-yasha didn't dare look back. "It... it felt good," he mumbled reluctantly, doing his best not to remember the heat, the feeling of lips on his skin, how badly he'd wanted--Shit. His face was bright red now.
Sirius smiled encouragingly, keeping his distant this time. "That part of why you've been hanging around lately? Coz I made you feel good?"
Still ridiculously red, Inu-yasha huffed. ...but didn't bother denying it.
It was almost sweet, except Sirius hadn't forgotten about the claws. Or the temper.
Inu-yasha misinterpreted the silence, thinking Sirius was trying to draw an answer out of him. Finally he couldn't take it. "Alright, yes!" The outburst made him forget to avoid looking at Sirius. "It felt good, and I wanted..." He managed to stop himself, and looked at Sirius, daring him to make him finish the sentence. They both knew.
"What do you want?" Sirius was gentle when he spoke, trying to avoid last time's bad end. Besides, he wasn't sure how he felt about it all himself. "There's no shame in it, whatever it is."
"Iwantedtotryitagain," Inu-yasha mumbled. It was a weakness he didn't want to admit to, even if Sirius wasn't going to tell anyone.
"Definitely no shame in that." He was quick to reassure, smiling encouragingly at the other boy. "Hey, I mean it. Look at me, please? I meant it. It's totally ok, it was fun right? There's no harm in fun, no shame in it."
Slowly, Inu-yasha started turning back to face Sirius, red cheeks making his golden eyes stand out. "I'd never..." He frowned, finally meeting the other boy's eyes (...before his gaze involuntarily fell to his lips, anyways). "Didn't know anything could feel like- like that."
"Feel's so good, right?" He encouraged, leaning forward in his chair a little.
Inu-yasha just nodded dumbly.
"Ok, well, I'm up for that. Potentially. Depends on how you plan to treat me afterwards." Inu-yasha was obviously still working through stuff, figuring out his sexuality and Sirius was happy to help him experiment. He just didn't want to be treated like crap for it afterwards.
"I-- you..? What?" Just like that? Was that how these things usually happened? Not that Inu-yasha had any way to know, really, but...
"You said you wanted to try it again, I might be up for that if you meant it." Sirius said simply, smiling encouragingly. The other boy was into it, but he'd been up for it before and changed his mind. This time Sirius was trying to do right by him and by himself. "I just don't want to be treated shitty afterwards like before, right?"
A large part of Inu-yasha wanted to protest. His reaction made perfect sense, he'd thought he'd been tricked into it, had been so lost in the sensations that he hadn't been making any decisions...
But this time he was making a decision. He wanted to know more, to feel more, and Sirius wouldn't tell anyone. So he nodded slightly, still embarrassed by the whole situation, and mumbled, "Yeah, right."
Slowly, Sirius moved from chair to sit on the bed beside Inu but with a vary clear gap between them. "Ok, ok, and you know I won't do wrong by you. You can trust me." And he was aware that seemed to be an alien concept to the other boy though.
Still a little confused, Inu-yasha's gaze was flicking bet Sirius's eyes and his lips. "An-- and you, you want to--?" he stammered uncertainly, English not coming together well with Sirius so close.
"Sure, if you're up for it too." Sirius nodded, watching him with an encouraging smile.
Unfolding his arms to rest his hands on the bed instead, Inu-yasha gulped and managed to nod. He definitely wanted to try again, to see if everything felt as good as he remembered. He just... didn't know how to start.
Sirius offered him his hand. Baby steps. Last time it had weirded Inu out but this time maybe he'd be more relaxed.
It still weirded Inu-yasha out, but maybe there was something about it he was missing? He hesitated for a moment, then put his hand on top of Sirius's, not moving to hold on or anything (he'd see what Sirius did first), just letting it lay flat. He couldn't help but be struck by the softness of Sirius's skin compared to his own rough hands. Huh.
Sirius took the hand and squeezed it gently before guiding the hand to rest on his neck, warm skin on warm skin. "You wanna move a little closer?" His hand still over Inu-Yasha's, his thumb rubbed the back of the other boy's hand gently. He was trying to be as slow and helpful as possible. Inu-yasha had the power, a dangerous leap of faith maybe but Sirius was beginning to think that with this boy, you needed to show trust before you'd start to receive it.
In lieu of answering, Inu-yasha, still cautious, unfolded his legs and turned his body to face Sirius, one leg on the bed and the other on the floor. "L-like this?"
"Yeah, however's comfortable for you." Sirius encouraged gently, wrapping an arm lightly around Inu's waist. "How're you feeling?" Clear verbal Communication might avoid the awkwardness of last time.
Nervous was the correct answer. There were so many things going on that Inu-yasha didn't understand. He didn't get close to people. Literally. So he didn't know what was normal or what he should be reading from the situation. But Sirius had asked how he was feeling so there was one thing he should be clear about. "Y'know I'm not looking for anything, anything, uh, romantic or, or whatever, right?" He hated even saying it, and Sirius was watching him stammer, still smiling at him. Pink again, Inu-yasha looked away (though he didn't move away at all). "That's not-- I just want--"
Smiling still, Sirius told him "I'm not looking for romance either, it's cool. Don't worry ok? I'm not expecting anything at all."
Inu-yasha's anxiety on the topic wasn't entirely gone, but he could put it aside for now. One hand was still on Sirius's neck, and slowly, watching his hand instead of Sirius, he slid the other one onto the other boy's leg. It wasn't much, just a small touch, but it was the first one he'd initiated.
After all, the touching and kissing and stuff, that was what he really wanted. He didn't know how to talk about any of this.
"That's it," Sirius coaxed with a smile, urging him closer and to be more bold. "And if I do something you don't like all you have to do is say and I won't do it. I'll tell you the same, ok?"
Nodding sheepishly, Inu-yasha moved the hand up past Sirius's hip before tentatively wrapping it in his shirt. His other hand pulled lightly on Sirius's neck, hoping he'd get the message to stop talking. Of course, part of him was still sure this was some kind of trap, but...
Sirius lent in closer, lips brushing Inu-yasha's but not kissing, not yet. He just wanted the other boy to make the move. Sirius reached up to stroke first his hair and then his ear reassuringly, to help the other boy relax a little.
Inu-yasha couldn't remember a time when anyone had been this, this, gentle with him. And it shouldn't matter! He shouldn't care if anyone was, shouldn't want it, but... But fuck, it felt good. He practically fell into Sirius's lips, making a (mortifying) little sound of relief.
The kiss was slow and surprisingly gentle for the moment, in complete contrast to their encounter in the woods.
Sirius had sworn he wouldn't do it again, not only had Inu-yasha treated him like trash but he'd felt shitty after when he'd been with Jay. He'd never felt guilty after a hook up before.
But here he was again, regardless. Maybe he really was a glutton for punishment.
And Inu-yasha didn't know or care about any of that. He was still a bundle of nerves, but at least he was starting to feel good. Pushing down another one of those desperate, pathetic "happy" sounds, he tilted his head, simultaneously leaning into Sirius's hand (the one on his ear, fuck that felt good...) and pressing for more from the kiss. Things weren't wild this time, they were warm and soft, a different kind of intoxicating.
"That what you were looking for?" Sirius murmured softly, for all he could tell easily from body language and scent, Inu-yasha was still a huge blank for him. What was clear though, now they'd established that Sirius was keeping his secret, the other boy just wanted to be touched and Sirius was happy to give it to him.
He nipped lightly though the kiss stayed gentle for the moment, not wanting to push or pressure
Using the hand wrapped in the other boy's shirt, Inu-yasha pulled, wanting Sirius closer. Fuck, it felt so good. He nipped back at Sirius, careful of his fangs, because he kept talking. Inu-yasha didn't think Sirius was teasing him (...or maybe he just didn't want to know). He also knew there was zero risk of Bobby coming back anytime soon because he was traveling, and it wasn't like Bobby had the nose for figuring this out when he got back. No, this was safe.
He released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, then nipped Sirius again, wanting more.
The repeated nipping drew a small growl from Sirius as he did his best to keep slow and not to push the other boy. The sharp fangs were welcome and grounding though in the way, because it was so clearly Inu-yasha that his mind couldn't wander dangerously like last time.
He lost time for a while as their lips and tongues moved together, he allowed himself to be utterly pliant to give the other boy a sense of control but he never quite relaxed, never quite trusted.
Inu-yasha was completely lost in it again, just like last time - except this time Sirius seemed to be holding something back. That growl had put fire in his blood, and he wanted more of that. Last time Sirius had helped, gotten them closer together-- could he do that? He didn't know how.
Frustrated, he broke the kiss, eyes still closed and panting slightly as he roughly pushed their foreheads together.
"It's ok," A breathless Sirius told him, searching his face for signs of a freak out like last time. The main reason why he was indeed 'holding back' he didn't want this to go to fast or far and end up getting hurt but he could sense the building frustration and guessed it's root. "I got you, I'll give you want you want ok? Didn't want to push too hard." He guided the other boy to straddle his lap like last time, closing the distance between them.
Inu-yasha's breath hitched with the move, his thoughts a mess of yesbettermore as he settled in on top of Sirius. He growled his approval.
With a small smile, Sirius pressed soft kisses up the other boys' jawline, fingertips tracing up and down his sides lightly.
Sirius was doing that thing again, being gentle with Inu-yasha. And the truth was, he liked it. Not the way he liked when Sirius growled or kissed him breathless, but still good. ...except he didn't know what to do with it (other than blush at the involuntary shiver it caused). He found he couldn't help asking, "Why do ya do that?"
Sirius pulled back a little to look Inu-yasha in the face "Do what?"
Inu-yasha blushed and looked away, gripping Sirius's shirt so he wouldn't think Inu-yasha wanted to stop. "Y-y'know, be so, gentle. Or whatever. With me." What was he doing that made Sirius think he needed to be gentle anyways?
"Well, last time I wasn't and you got really overwhelmed so I guess I just wanted to try something new, you don't like?" His hands stroked the other boys sides and back, exploring again and reassuring him that he wasn't taking it as a rejection, it was ok. Whatever he wanted was ok.
Inu-yasha blushed even brighter. "Last time was-- I'd never done, done anything like..." Like kissed another guy and liked it so much he'd ended up writhing in his lap? Yeah, that. He looked down and away. "It's just weird, that's all. No one's ever..." More blushing, and he snapped his mouth shut to keep from saying anything else. The hell was he doing, saying things like that?
"I know, it's ok," Sirius assured him, hand going to caress Inu's ear to help him relax. Handy trick that. "And it's totally ok if you preferred the way we did it last time, we can do that again, totally. Just, ah, just don't mark me this time?"
As his blush started fading, Inu-yasha closed his eyes to focus on the wonderful thing Sirius was doing to his ear. "Just wanna feel good," he mumbled gruffly, before cracking one eye open. "Mark?"
"Yeah, like last time, the bruises and bites. Don't leave marks like that this time." He explained, still stroking the other boy's ear.
"But you liked it," Inu-yasha pointed out, brow furrowing as both eyes opened to watch Sirius's face intently.
"I did but not the marks, that's all." Sirius told him softly. He didn't want to hurt Jay again or be treated like a leper again.
With a little growl, Inu-yasha nodded his acceptance, then leaned in to catch Sirius in a demanding kiss. All this talking was ruining his buzz, making him all too aware that the whole conversation was happening while he sat in a guy's lap. If he wasn't working on feeling good, he really didn't want to be here. That was just weird.
And Sirius was more than happy to be sidetracked from thinking about he-who-he-shouldn't-be-thinking-about. He kissed back eagerly as he lowered himself back onto the bed bringing Inu-yasha with him.
Now this Inu-yasha liked, even better than where he'd been before. He took a deep breath of Sirius as he broke the kiss for a moment, surveying the British boy now underneath him. It made his heart beat faster and his breath shallower (and just nevermind what it did to other parts of him). One clawed finger tipped Sirius' chin up to kiss again, more roughly than before. He wanted Sirius to feel it too, to stop holding back.
Heightened, canine senses meant Sirius was experiencing it all on two levels. He could hear the other boy's heart pounding, his blood rushing. Smell his arousal and excitement in the natural scent he was giving off.
And then there was the kisses, for someone on his second go he'd definitely improved a little (then again he liked to think himself an excellent teacher) though what he still lacked in technique he made up for with pure enthusiasm and, besides, Sirius'd never been opposed to a little rough housing when it came like that.
Inu-yasha also had an excellent nose, and knowing that his actions were making Sirius aroused just heightened things for him (...and also made it okay that he was aroused too). He still didn't know how to escalate it though, now that he was doing this on purpose. All he could do was kiss harder, with almost bruising force, body occasionally rocking in frustration.
"Can I," Sirius paused every few words for kisses, Inu-yasha didn't give him a lot of choice. He could feel the tension in the other boy's body but knew he lacked patience for too much talking, and talking was needed considering how offering more had overwhelmed him last time. "Shirts off?" He hooked his thumbs under fabric. "It's ok to say no."
Inu-yasha frowned into the next kiss before asking, "It'll feel good?"
Sirius nodded a little. "I'll make it feel very good, if you want me to."
That was definitely a thing Inu-yasha wanted, and he nodded gruffly (though Sirius's offer still made him blush a bit). He pulled back a bit, watching intently to see what Sirius would do.
With a smile, Sirius pulled the other boy's t-shirt up slowly dropping it onto the bed. "Want to do me?" He asked, motioning to his shirt. Sometimes, it seemed, Inu-yasha needed coaxing.
Inu-yasha was still processing how different it was, having someone else take off his shirt, and how intense it was when he was, uh, feeling like this. He blinked down at Sirius, then nodded, studiously and carefully removing his shirt too. He managed not to catch his claws in the fabric or on Sirius's skin, and was surprised at how taking off Sirius's shirt had him breathing a little harder. Patient despite that, he looked back to Sirius, clearly looking for a clue. Now what?
Sirius smiled encouragingly, stroking those sensitive ears for a moment to help soothe the other boy of nerves before guiding him closer, warm skin on skin and lightly running his fingernails down his back. "Feel good?"
Inu-yasha sucked in a breath. Sirius wasn't wrong - this did feel good. Really good. He managed a nod and a quiet growl of approval, hips rocking slowly against Sirius.
"Ok," All his energy was going into being restrained and focusing on Inu-yasha's comfort. "Then let me show you a few things." He pulled the other boy's head down for a deep kiss.
***
Inu-yasha was still panting, still flushed from what had just happened, but it felt like his senses were returning. Fuck, that felt good. Beyond good, that was fucking amazing. It wasn't like he'd never taken care of himself before, but it was a whole different thing with another person...
"Told you," Sirius grinned, lying on the bed propped up by his elbows. He was faintly amused too, it had been quite a while since stereotypical teenage dry humping had been on the menu but he hadn't wanted to rush Inu and he seemed to have really enjoyed it. Sirius didn't mind the change in pace, though the boxers sticking to him were a little less welcome.
As usual, Inu-yasha showed no sign of returning the smile when he turned to look up at Sirius. Keen amber eyes regarded him carefully, not sure what to make of that comment (especially since embarrassment was starting to bleed through). "Oy, told me what?"
"That I can make you feel very good." Sirius reminded gently, watching closely and again nervous of a sudden turn.
Inu-yasha's face turned bright red, and he turned his head to look in the opposite direction, mumbling, "Y-yeah, I guess..."
Sirius's hand immediately went to the cheek now turned away from him. "There is no reason to feel shame, none at all."
Inu-yasha's body tensed with discomfort at the touch, but let Sirius guide his face back. This touch was different. Sirius was being kind. It made Inu-yasha feel somehow vulnerable. People weren't kind to him, or to anyone like him. The world didn't work that way.
After a moment's pause, and still tense, he managed to ask, "You're not...?"
"I'm not what?"
"Ashamed," Inu-yasha clarified gruffly, letting some of his usual crankiness cover his discomfort and not looking Sirius in the eye anymore. "Of, y'know, this. With me." Inu-yasha was well aware that no one really liked him here. Hell, that had included Sirius until earlier.
"No," His voice was firm, not any room for even an ounce of doubt. "Never."
Inu-yasha's frown intensified and his eyebrows knit together as he processed that. He pushed up to sitting, turning to face Sirius with his arms crossed over his bare chest. Still blushing faintly, but determined, he asked, "Why not?"
"Because nothing we did was shameful and I'm not embarrassed by you either. I don't see why I should be." Sirius told him honestly. "I'll keep all this a secret because you need it to be but if you didn't, I'd have no problem with anyone knowing about it."
Looking surprised, for a moment all Inu-yasha could do was blink stupidly, unaware that his head had tilted to the side. "...huh."
To cover that he was still thinking, he reached over to the end of the bed to retrieve his shirt and pull it on. Which brought something else to his mind. "Oy, those," he said, nodding toward the marks on Sirius's skin. "I didn't do those."
Sirius's hand automatically went to the darkest bruise on his collar bone. Jay.
"No, you didn't. You're not the only one I'm, you know, getting close with. That's not a problem, is it?"
Inu-yasha snorted, closing his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest again dismissively. "Nope, doesn't matter to me. Do what you like." He meant it, too; he didn't have anything invested here. Meanwhile, with the change in topic (and no longer being shirtless), he was starting to feel more like himself. "But Flyboy leaves alotta marks. You said you don't like that."
"You caught his scent, huh?" Not that they hadn't indulged in PDAs at the concert and over times, of course. "Uh, actually I really like it but when you marked me last time he got really upset about it and I don't like upsetting him." He swallowed hard, looking appropriately guilty that he was treating hook ups differently which was grossly unfair.
"Heh." This time Inu-yasha smirked, completely unbothered and totally unaware of Sirius's guilt. "He's territorial, huh?"
"I...guess you could say that, yeah." Sirius nodded slowly. He hadn't thought of it like that before, but maybe there was more motivation to Jay's bites than pure fun.
Inu-yasha huffed another laugh. Then he opened his eyes, gaze skimming over Sirius's back and up to his eyes again. By that point, his smirk had faded completely. "And the other marks, on your back?"
"He's left lovebites there too? How'd he manage it? I don't even remember that."
"Not those marks," Inu-yasha said, surprised Sirius didn't know what he meant. "The scars."
Sirius moved suddenly, grabbing his shirt reflexively. It hadn't occurred to him they were being referenced because most casual hook ups either didn't notice or care to. They were so pale nowadays anyway.
"I didn't ask about yours." He said tightly, nodding to Inu's stomach.
Taken aback, Inu-yasha frowned. "Keh. Got mine the first time I got stabbed. Healing wasn't as good then." The two marks on his stomach just showed how tough he was. Why would Sirius have a problem talking about old scars?
Sirius nodded slowly but still wasn't willing to share. "Maybe some other time." He said, pulling his t-shirt on.
Inu-yasha wasn't completely oblivious; obviously Sirius was brushing him off. Closing his eyes again, he stretched lazily. "Whatever," he said, scratching absently behind one of his ears. "Scars just mean you survived."
"True," He was softer now, in voice and expression. "Doesn't mean I wanna relive what I survived though."
Inu-yasha cracked an eye open to peer at Sirius curiously. Whatever he'd expected Sirius to say, that wasn't it. "I suppose," he said, closing the eye and crossing his arms again. Then he opened his eyes, expression serious as he added, "As long as no one leaves marks like that anymore."
There was genuine surprise on Sirius's face now, he'd heard Inu-yasha make more explicit threats than that before but never on behalf of someone else. He'd never shown to Sirius, at least, that he gave a damn about anyone else and yet, now suddenly this. Huh.
With a small smile he assured the other boy. "I don't intend to ever give anyone the chance."
"Heh. Good." Inu-yasha wasn't entirely sure why it mattered, maybe something about Sirius and how he was nice or whatever... at least he wasn't a push-over. Maybe he couldn't heal like Inu-yasha, or have the added strength or speed, but that didn't make him weak. He'd gotten away from whoever was hurting him and wasn't going to let them do it again.
Sirius moved closer again, half smile growing a little as he took control of the conversation again. "Just so you know, any time you want to feel good again or, hey, maybe even hang out," Inu-yasha didn't seem to hang out much but maybe it was like touch and he'd just been lacking opportunities. "You know how to find me."
"Huh?" Inu-yasha flushed again as Sirius got closer. He couldn't deny that he might want this to happen again, which was still humiliating to admit to himself, but... well, as long as Sirius would keep it secret. "Y-yeah," he said, looking away again.
"Hey, it's ok. No shame. Remember that. But I'll wash off your scent after I leave here, promise."
"Yeah, good," Inu-yasha mumbled. He still didn't know what to do when Sirius was nice like this, and it made him nervous. Which was dumb, and he knew it was dumb, but-- ugh. Whatever.
Sirius just nodded. Best leave it there then. "I'll see myself out." He offered to take pressure off of him.
Inu-yasha just nodded, making a small sound of agreement as he stood up to let Sirius off the bed. He leaned absently against the desk, just to have something to do. Then, against his better judgment, he added, "See ya around, I guess."
"Oh, I'm sure you will."
Inu-yasha just watched as Sirius left. Part of his mind was still spinning, not entirely sure what had just happened; another part still felt strangely good. Which was actually kind of unnerving. He stood there for a few more minutes, arguing with himself, before deciding he was thinking way too much and stomping into the bathroom to take a shower.
WARNING: Making out with FTB, after the fade there is some reference to what happened during the fade. More importantly, Inu-yasha's internalized homophobia is a driving force for much of the conversation, mostly about shame and fear of outing/attack so avoid if those are big issues for you. There is also a moment where scars are compared, alluding to Sirius's past abuse and direct reference to an attack in Inu's past.
For Inu-yasha, those first days after he'd-- with Sirius--They'd been hell.
"Tense" didn't even begin to cover it. Everywhere he went, he was sure people knew. He kept waiting for someone to start the insults, to make snide remarks, to start a fight. The longer there was nothing, the worse he got. Was there something more elaborate planned? Were they all talking about it when he wasn't around?
So he did the only thing he knew how to do to get and keep respect - he glared and growled at people. If anyone thought he was weak or an easy target, he was out to change their minds.
When Sirius showed up at his room to return his sweatshirt, he'd hauled him into the room before anyone could see (and then gave him a piece of his mind). Sirius had insisted again (angrily) that he wouldn't tell anyone; Inu-yasha refused to believe him.
But that had been a week ago, and Inu-yasha still hadn't heard one word about it, from anyone. And he'd pissed off enough people with his aggression that, if they'd known, they definitely would've thrown it at him by now...
And in the meantime, he'd had almost no success in repressing thoughts about how good that thing in the woods had felt. How he'd never felt anything like that before, how his body was practically aching for more. Dammit.
So today, he'd been watching Sirius closely. Too closely, really, Sirius had caught him several times. When he finally encountered him in the hall of the boys dorm, he flat-out stared for a moment, not sure what to do. Then he frowned, turned to indicate his room with his eyes, then looked back to Sirius to see if he'd go for it. No matter what they had to say, he didn't want anyone overhearing it out here.
Sirius followed out of curiosity rather than anything else. He'd kept a distance since the other boy seemed to be spitting feathers at any memory of their little adventure and so the sudden attention had him curious more than anything. There was still annoyance, of course, but for the moment he was willing to hear him out, if that was what he wanted.
He followed the other boy into his room, looking around. He knew Roberto well enough but they weren't exactly buddies although they had more professional connections these days than most might expect actually.
"Did you want something?" He asked as he closed the door behind himself.
Ignoring the question, Inu-yasha just stared at him intensely for a moment. He was standing in the center of the room, trying to face this the same way he faced most things: head on.
He just... didn't know how that would pan out in this situation.
Finally, he just said the most important thing. "You didn't tell anyone."
"Uh no, I don't out people. I told you." Sirius pointed out.
Frowning, Inu-yasha blinked in confusion. "But you were pissed at me."
"Well yeah. I don't like being accused of shit I didn't do but I never out people, simple as." Was said back plainly.
Inu-yasha fidgeted, eyes sizing up Sirius, trying to make sense of him. ...and also a little nervous because now they were alone and part of him really, really wanted--
He stuffed the thought away, frowning again. "Why?" Another uncomfortable shuffle, but he met the other boy's eyes when he asked, "Why would you protect me?"
"Call it a code of honour if you like, but like I said I just don't out people. Call it protecting if you like." He'd have done it for anyone. He didn't believe in outing no matter the circumstances.
"Even people you don't like?" For Inu-yasha, this just didn't compute. He looked up at Sirius, still wary and guarded. This couldn't be real. "Even..." He looked away, uncomfortable with his question. "Even someone like me?"
"I'm honestly not sure what you're meaning by 'someone like you' but no, I don't out people even if I don't like the person. I'm not a douchebag, coming out is huge and I'd never deliberately do it to anyone." Jay had been a regrettable accident that he was still paying for.
Inu-yasha scowled and looked away.
"OK, now we've established that I keep my promise, is that all? Or did you want you yell at me again?" Sirius huffed.
No, Inu-yasha didn't want to yell at him - but he definitely didn't want to tell him what he actually wanted instead - so with a short leap, he settled on his bed, legs crossed and back upright, looking directly at Sirius. There was space for the taller boy to join him if he wanted, or there was the chair at the desk. Or maybe he'd just leave.
"Figured you'd tell someone and they'd come after me," he said, explaining himself without apology. He did flush a little, remembering how he'd reacted to Sirius touching his ears. There were plenty of details Sirius could've shared that people could use to make his life hell. "It's what most people would do."
The body langauge and scents coming off Inu-yasha, well, Sirius was confused now. Was he trying to come onto him? After all the shit he'd pulled? Talk about mixed signals.
Slowly, he sat in a desk chair. "Not people I want anything to do with. That's just not my scene."
Right. Sirius was apparently not like other people. No wonder he confused Inu-yasha so much. He narrowed his eyes a bit, not quite sure he understood right. "Scene?"
"It's not something I do. As we've now made thoroughly clear." Sirius nodded before telling him "I'd offer to try speaking Japanese for you but it would be so broken and rusty I'd probably accidentally insult you or something equally awful."
Inu-yasha had been frowning thoughtfully - he hadn't misunderstood - but then Sirius mentioned Japanese, which caught him off guard. He flushed pink when he realized what Sirius must think.
"My English is fine," he complained without much bite. Learning to speak without an accent had been crucial when he moved to the states. "You just say things that don't make sense."
"Your English is very good, I'm not knocking it. I use a lot of slang and forget there's not reason for you to know it. That's all. But yeah, your English is way better than my Japanese," A significant portion he'd learnt off of Shinobi and other party boys so definitely wasn't fit for conversational use.
"You've been to Japan?" Inu-yasha hated the question as soon as he asked. Of course Sirius could've been to Japan. He was rich or whatever, and lots of people around here traveled. "Work sent me once not long ago, most my Japanese has been learnt from friends which is probably why it's so terrible." Sirius explained with a small shrug. "My old school before here was very multinational too, mostly just means you pick up swear words from other boys though." He changed subjects perhaps suddenly but the scents Inu-yasha was throwing off were very distracting. "Last time we spoke you were a lot sharper with me, had a change of heart since?"
Inu-yasha flushed again at the word 'heart' and looked away. "Told ya, I thought you were gonna tell," he said, aiming for a disinterested tone. Before Sirius could get huffy about the subject again, he added, "I didn't think you'd keep your mouth shut."
"I meant, and don't hurt me for this, you seemed to have a problem in general with the making out, now you seem a tiny bit more relaxed about that and only the telling is the big thing. Fair to say?" He felt like he was walking on eggshells.
Inu-yasha didn't dare look back. "It... it felt good," he mumbled reluctantly, doing his best not to remember the heat, the feeling of lips on his skin, how badly he'd wanted--Shit. His face was bright red now.
Sirius smiled encouragingly, keeping his distant this time. "That part of why you've been hanging around lately? Coz I made you feel good?"
Still ridiculously red, Inu-yasha huffed. ...but didn't bother denying it.
It was almost sweet, except Sirius hadn't forgotten about the claws. Or the temper.
Inu-yasha misinterpreted the silence, thinking Sirius was trying to draw an answer out of him. Finally he couldn't take it. "Alright, yes!" The outburst made him forget to avoid looking at Sirius. "It felt good, and I wanted..." He managed to stop himself, and looked at Sirius, daring him to make him finish the sentence. They both knew.
"What do you want?" Sirius was gentle when he spoke, trying to avoid last time's bad end. Besides, he wasn't sure how he felt about it all himself. "There's no shame in it, whatever it is."
"Iwantedtotryitagain," Inu-yasha mumbled. It was a weakness he didn't want to admit to, even if Sirius wasn't going to tell anyone.
"Definitely no shame in that." He was quick to reassure, smiling encouragingly at the other boy. "Hey, I mean it. Look at me, please? I meant it. It's totally ok, it was fun right? There's no harm in fun, no shame in it."
Slowly, Inu-yasha started turning back to face Sirius, red cheeks making his golden eyes stand out. "I'd never..." He frowned, finally meeting the other boy's eyes (...before his gaze involuntarily fell to his lips, anyways). "Didn't know anything could feel like- like that."
"Feel's so good, right?" He encouraged, leaning forward in his chair a little.
Inu-yasha just nodded dumbly.
"Ok, well, I'm up for that. Potentially. Depends on how you plan to treat me afterwards." Inu-yasha was obviously still working through stuff, figuring out his sexuality and Sirius was happy to help him experiment. He just didn't want to be treated like crap for it afterwards.
"I-- you..? What?" Just like that? Was that how these things usually happened? Not that Inu-yasha had any way to know, really, but...
"You said you wanted to try it again, I might be up for that if you meant it." Sirius said simply, smiling encouragingly. The other boy was into it, but he'd been up for it before and changed his mind. This time Sirius was trying to do right by him and by himself. "I just don't want to be treated shitty afterwards like before, right?"
A large part of Inu-yasha wanted to protest. His reaction made perfect sense, he'd thought he'd been tricked into it, had been so lost in the sensations that he hadn't been making any decisions...
But this time he was making a decision. He wanted to know more, to feel more, and Sirius wouldn't tell anyone. So he nodded slightly, still embarrassed by the whole situation, and mumbled, "Yeah, right."
Slowly, Sirius moved from chair to sit on the bed beside Inu but with a vary clear gap between them. "Ok, ok, and you know I won't do wrong by you. You can trust me." And he was aware that seemed to be an alien concept to the other boy though.
Still a little confused, Inu-yasha's gaze was flicking bet Sirius's eyes and his lips. "An-- and you, you want to--?" he stammered uncertainly, English not coming together well with Sirius so close.
"Sure, if you're up for it too." Sirius nodded, watching him with an encouraging smile.
Unfolding his arms to rest his hands on the bed instead, Inu-yasha gulped and managed to nod. He definitely wanted to try again, to see if everything felt as good as he remembered. He just... didn't know how to start.
Sirius offered him his hand. Baby steps. Last time it had weirded Inu out but this time maybe he'd be more relaxed.
It still weirded Inu-yasha out, but maybe there was something about it he was missing? He hesitated for a moment, then put his hand on top of Sirius's, not moving to hold on or anything (he'd see what Sirius did first), just letting it lay flat. He couldn't help but be struck by the softness of Sirius's skin compared to his own rough hands. Huh.
Sirius took the hand and squeezed it gently before guiding the hand to rest on his neck, warm skin on warm skin. "You wanna move a little closer?" His hand still over Inu-Yasha's, his thumb rubbed the back of the other boy's hand gently. He was trying to be as slow and helpful as possible. Inu-yasha had the power, a dangerous leap of faith maybe but Sirius was beginning to think that with this boy, you needed to show trust before you'd start to receive it.
In lieu of answering, Inu-yasha, still cautious, unfolded his legs and turned his body to face Sirius, one leg on the bed and the other on the floor. "L-like this?"
"Yeah, however's comfortable for you." Sirius encouraged gently, wrapping an arm lightly around Inu's waist. "How're you feeling?" Clear verbal Communication might avoid the awkwardness of last time.
Nervous was the correct answer. There were so many things going on that Inu-yasha didn't understand. He didn't get close to people. Literally. So he didn't know what was normal or what he should be reading from the situation. But Sirius had asked how he was feeling so there was one thing he should be clear about. "Y'know I'm not looking for anything, anything, uh, romantic or, or whatever, right?" He hated even saying it, and Sirius was watching him stammer, still smiling at him. Pink again, Inu-yasha looked away (though he didn't move away at all). "That's not-- I just want--"
Smiling still, Sirius told him "I'm not looking for romance either, it's cool. Don't worry ok? I'm not expecting anything at all."
Inu-yasha's anxiety on the topic wasn't entirely gone, but he could put it aside for now. One hand was still on Sirius's neck, and slowly, watching his hand instead of Sirius, he slid the other one onto the other boy's leg. It wasn't much, just a small touch, but it was the first one he'd initiated.
After all, the touching and kissing and stuff, that was what he really wanted. He didn't know how to talk about any of this.
"That's it," Sirius coaxed with a smile, urging him closer and to be more bold. "And if I do something you don't like all you have to do is say and I won't do it. I'll tell you the same, ok?"
Nodding sheepishly, Inu-yasha moved the hand up past Sirius's hip before tentatively wrapping it in his shirt. His other hand pulled lightly on Sirius's neck, hoping he'd get the message to stop talking. Of course, part of him was still sure this was some kind of trap, but...
Sirius lent in closer, lips brushing Inu-yasha's but not kissing, not yet. He just wanted the other boy to make the move. Sirius reached up to stroke first his hair and then his ear reassuringly, to help the other boy relax a little.
Inu-yasha couldn't remember a time when anyone had been this, this, gentle with him. And it shouldn't matter! He shouldn't care if anyone was, shouldn't want it, but... But fuck, it felt good. He practically fell into Sirius's lips, making a (mortifying) little sound of relief.
The kiss was slow and surprisingly gentle for the moment, in complete contrast to their encounter in the woods.
Sirius had sworn he wouldn't do it again, not only had Inu-yasha treated him like trash but he'd felt shitty after when he'd been with Jay. He'd never felt guilty after a hook up before.
But here he was again, regardless. Maybe he really was a glutton for punishment.
And Inu-yasha didn't know or care about any of that. He was still a bundle of nerves, but at least he was starting to feel good. Pushing down another one of those desperate, pathetic "happy" sounds, he tilted his head, simultaneously leaning into Sirius's hand (the one on his ear, fuck that felt good...) and pressing for more from the kiss. Things weren't wild this time, they were warm and soft, a different kind of intoxicating.
"That what you were looking for?" Sirius murmured softly, for all he could tell easily from body language and scent, Inu-yasha was still a huge blank for him. What was clear though, now they'd established that Sirius was keeping his secret, the other boy just wanted to be touched and Sirius was happy to give it to him.
He nipped lightly though the kiss stayed gentle for the moment, not wanting to push or pressure
Using the hand wrapped in the other boy's shirt, Inu-yasha pulled, wanting Sirius closer. Fuck, it felt so good. He nipped back at Sirius, careful of his fangs, because he kept talking. Inu-yasha didn't think Sirius was teasing him (...or maybe he just didn't want to know). He also knew there was zero risk of Bobby coming back anytime soon because he was traveling, and it wasn't like Bobby had the nose for figuring this out when he got back. No, this was safe.
He released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, then nipped Sirius again, wanting more.
The repeated nipping drew a small growl from Sirius as he did his best to keep slow and not to push the other boy. The sharp fangs were welcome and grounding though in the way, because it was so clearly Inu-yasha that his mind couldn't wander dangerously like last time.
He lost time for a while as their lips and tongues moved together, he allowed himself to be utterly pliant to give the other boy a sense of control but he never quite relaxed, never quite trusted.
Inu-yasha was completely lost in it again, just like last time - except this time Sirius seemed to be holding something back. That growl had put fire in his blood, and he wanted more of that. Last time Sirius had helped, gotten them closer together-- could he do that? He didn't know how.
Frustrated, he broke the kiss, eyes still closed and panting slightly as he roughly pushed their foreheads together.
"It's ok," A breathless Sirius told him, searching his face for signs of a freak out like last time. The main reason why he was indeed 'holding back' he didn't want this to go to fast or far and end up getting hurt but he could sense the building frustration and guessed it's root. "I got you, I'll give you want you want ok? Didn't want to push too hard." He guided the other boy to straddle his lap like last time, closing the distance between them.
Inu-yasha's breath hitched with the move, his thoughts a mess of yesbettermore as he settled in on top of Sirius. He growled his approval.
With a small smile, Sirius pressed soft kisses up the other boys' jawline, fingertips tracing up and down his sides lightly.
Sirius was doing that thing again, being gentle with Inu-yasha. And the truth was, he liked it. Not the way he liked when Sirius growled or kissed him breathless, but still good. ...except he didn't know what to do with it (other than blush at the involuntary shiver it caused). He found he couldn't help asking, "Why do ya do that?"
Sirius pulled back a little to look Inu-yasha in the face "Do what?"
Inu-yasha blushed and looked away, gripping Sirius's shirt so he wouldn't think Inu-yasha wanted to stop. "Y-y'know, be so, gentle. Or whatever. With me." What was he doing that made Sirius think he needed to be gentle anyways?
"Well, last time I wasn't and you got really overwhelmed so I guess I just wanted to try something new, you don't like?" His hands stroked the other boys sides and back, exploring again and reassuring him that he wasn't taking it as a rejection, it was ok. Whatever he wanted was ok.
Inu-yasha blushed even brighter. "Last time was-- I'd never done, done anything like..." Like kissed another guy and liked it so much he'd ended up writhing in his lap? Yeah, that. He looked down and away. "It's just weird, that's all. No one's ever..." More blushing, and he snapped his mouth shut to keep from saying anything else. The hell was he doing, saying things like that?
"I know, it's ok," Sirius assured him, hand going to caress Inu's ear to help him relax. Handy trick that. "And it's totally ok if you preferred the way we did it last time, we can do that again, totally. Just, ah, just don't mark me this time?"
As his blush started fading, Inu-yasha closed his eyes to focus on the wonderful thing Sirius was doing to his ear. "Just wanna feel good," he mumbled gruffly, before cracking one eye open. "Mark?"
"Yeah, like last time, the bruises and bites. Don't leave marks like that this time." He explained, still stroking the other boy's ear.
"But you liked it," Inu-yasha pointed out, brow furrowing as both eyes opened to watch Sirius's face intently.
"I did but not the marks, that's all." Sirius told him softly. He didn't want to hurt Jay again or be treated like a leper again.
With a little growl, Inu-yasha nodded his acceptance, then leaned in to catch Sirius in a demanding kiss. All this talking was ruining his buzz, making him all too aware that the whole conversation was happening while he sat in a guy's lap. If he wasn't working on feeling good, he really didn't want to be here. That was just weird.
And Sirius was more than happy to be sidetracked from thinking about he-who-he-shouldn't-be-thinking-about. He kissed back eagerly as he lowered himself back onto the bed bringing Inu-yasha with him.
Now this Inu-yasha liked, even better than where he'd been before. He took a deep breath of Sirius as he broke the kiss for a moment, surveying the British boy now underneath him. It made his heart beat faster and his breath shallower (and just nevermind what it did to other parts of him). One clawed finger tipped Sirius' chin up to kiss again, more roughly than before. He wanted Sirius to feel it too, to stop holding back.
Heightened, canine senses meant Sirius was experiencing it all on two levels. He could hear the other boy's heart pounding, his blood rushing. Smell his arousal and excitement in the natural scent he was giving off.
And then there was the kisses, for someone on his second go he'd definitely improved a little (then again he liked to think himself an excellent teacher) though what he still lacked in technique he made up for with pure enthusiasm and, besides, Sirius'd never been opposed to a little rough housing when it came like that.
Inu-yasha also had an excellent nose, and knowing that his actions were making Sirius aroused just heightened things for him (...and also made it okay that he was aroused too). He still didn't know how to escalate it though, now that he was doing this on purpose. All he could do was kiss harder, with almost bruising force, body occasionally rocking in frustration.
"Can I," Sirius paused every few words for kisses, Inu-yasha didn't give him a lot of choice. He could feel the tension in the other boy's body but knew he lacked patience for too much talking, and talking was needed considering how offering more had overwhelmed him last time. "Shirts off?" He hooked his thumbs under fabric. "It's ok to say no."
Inu-yasha frowned into the next kiss before asking, "It'll feel good?"
Sirius nodded a little. "I'll make it feel very good, if you want me to."
That was definitely a thing Inu-yasha wanted, and he nodded gruffly (though Sirius's offer still made him blush a bit). He pulled back a bit, watching intently to see what Sirius would do.
With a smile, Sirius pulled the other boy's t-shirt up slowly dropping it onto the bed. "Want to do me?" He asked, motioning to his shirt. Sometimes, it seemed, Inu-yasha needed coaxing.
Inu-yasha was still processing how different it was, having someone else take off his shirt, and how intense it was when he was, uh, feeling like this. He blinked down at Sirius, then nodded, studiously and carefully removing his shirt too. He managed not to catch his claws in the fabric or on Sirius's skin, and was surprised at how taking off Sirius's shirt had him breathing a little harder. Patient despite that, he looked back to Sirius, clearly looking for a clue. Now what?
Sirius smiled encouragingly, stroking those sensitive ears for a moment to help soothe the other boy of nerves before guiding him closer, warm skin on skin and lightly running his fingernails down his back. "Feel good?"
Inu-yasha sucked in a breath. Sirius wasn't wrong - this did feel good. Really good. He managed a nod and a quiet growl of approval, hips rocking slowly against Sirius.
"Ok," All his energy was going into being restrained and focusing on Inu-yasha's comfort. "Then let me show you a few things." He pulled the other boy's head down for a deep kiss.
***
Inu-yasha was still panting, still flushed from what had just happened, but it felt like his senses were returning. Fuck, that felt good. Beyond good, that was fucking amazing. It wasn't like he'd never taken care of himself before, but it was a whole different thing with another person...
"Told you," Sirius grinned, lying on the bed propped up by his elbows. He was faintly amused too, it had been quite a while since stereotypical teenage dry humping had been on the menu but he hadn't wanted to rush Inu and he seemed to have really enjoyed it. Sirius didn't mind the change in pace, though the boxers sticking to him were a little less welcome.
As usual, Inu-yasha showed no sign of returning the smile when he turned to look up at Sirius. Keen amber eyes regarded him carefully, not sure what to make of that comment (especially since embarrassment was starting to bleed through). "Oy, told me what?"
"That I can make you feel very good." Sirius reminded gently, watching closely and again nervous of a sudden turn.
Inu-yasha's face turned bright red, and he turned his head to look in the opposite direction, mumbling, "Y-yeah, I guess..."
Sirius's hand immediately went to the cheek now turned away from him. "There is no reason to feel shame, none at all."
Inu-yasha's body tensed with discomfort at the touch, but let Sirius guide his face back. This touch was different. Sirius was being kind. It made Inu-yasha feel somehow vulnerable. People weren't kind to him, or to anyone like him. The world didn't work that way.
After a moment's pause, and still tense, he managed to ask, "You're not...?"
"I'm not what?"
"Ashamed," Inu-yasha clarified gruffly, letting some of his usual crankiness cover his discomfort and not looking Sirius in the eye anymore. "Of, y'know, this. With me." Inu-yasha was well aware that no one really liked him here. Hell, that had included Sirius until earlier.
"No," His voice was firm, not any room for even an ounce of doubt. "Never."
Inu-yasha's frown intensified and his eyebrows knit together as he processed that. He pushed up to sitting, turning to face Sirius with his arms crossed over his bare chest. Still blushing faintly, but determined, he asked, "Why not?"
"Because nothing we did was shameful and I'm not embarrassed by you either. I don't see why I should be." Sirius told him honestly. "I'll keep all this a secret because you need it to be but if you didn't, I'd have no problem with anyone knowing about it."
Looking surprised, for a moment all Inu-yasha could do was blink stupidly, unaware that his head had tilted to the side. "...huh."
To cover that he was still thinking, he reached over to the end of the bed to retrieve his shirt and pull it on. Which brought something else to his mind. "Oy, those," he said, nodding toward the marks on Sirius's skin. "I didn't do those."
Sirius's hand automatically went to the darkest bruise on his collar bone. Jay.
"No, you didn't. You're not the only one I'm, you know, getting close with. That's not a problem, is it?"
Inu-yasha snorted, closing his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest again dismissively. "Nope, doesn't matter to me. Do what you like." He meant it, too; he didn't have anything invested here. Meanwhile, with the change in topic (and no longer being shirtless), he was starting to feel more like himself. "But Flyboy leaves alotta marks. You said you don't like that."
"You caught his scent, huh?" Not that they hadn't indulged in PDAs at the concert and over times, of course. "Uh, actually I really like it but when you marked me last time he got really upset about it and I don't like upsetting him." He swallowed hard, looking appropriately guilty that he was treating hook ups differently which was grossly unfair.
"Heh." This time Inu-yasha smirked, completely unbothered and totally unaware of Sirius's guilt. "He's territorial, huh?"
"I...guess you could say that, yeah." Sirius nodded slowly. He hadn't thought of it like that before, but maybe there was more motivation to Jay's bites than pure fun.
Inu-yasha huffed another laugh. Then he opened his eyes, gaze skimming over Sirius's back and up to his eyes again. By that point, his smirk had faded completely. "And the other marks, on your back?"
"He's left lovebites there too? How'd he manage it? I don't even remember that."
"Not those marks," Inu-yasha said, surprised Sirius didn't know what he meant. "The scars."
Sirius moved suddenly, grabbing his shirt reflexively. It hadn't occurred to him they were being referenced because most casual hook ups either didn't notice or care to. They were so pale nowadays anyway.
"I didn't ask about yours." He said tightly, nodding to Inu's stomach.
Taken aback, Inu-yasha frowned. "Keh. Got mine the first time I got stabbed. Healing wasn't as good then." The two marks on his stomach just showed how tough he was. Why would Sirius have a problem talking about old scars?
Sirius nodded slowly but still wasn't willing to share. "Maybe some other time." He said, pulling his t-shirt on.
Inu-yasha wasn't completely oblivious; obviously Sirius was brushing him off. Closing his eyes again, he stretched lazily. "Whatever," he said, scratching absently behind one of his ears. "Scars just mean you survived."
"True," He was softer now, in voice and expression. "Doesn't mean I wanna relive what I survived though."
Inu-yasha cracked an eye open to peer at Sirius curiously. Whatever he'd expected Sirius to say, that wasn't it. "I suppose," he said, closing the eye and crossing his arms again. Then he opened his eyes, expression serious as he added, "As long as no one leaves marks like that anymore."
There was genuine surprise on Sirius's face now, he'd heard Inu-yasha make more explicit threats than that before but never on behalf of someone else. He'd never shown to Sirius, at least, that he gave a damn about anyone else and yet, now suddenly this. Huh.
With a small smile he assured the other boy. "I don't intend to ever give anyone the chance."
"Heh. Good." Inu-yasha wasn't entirely sure why it mattered, maybe something about Sirius and how he was nice or whatever... at least he wasn't a push-over. Maybe he couldn't heal like Inu-yasha, or have the added strength or speed, but that didn't make him weak. He'd gotten away from whoever was hurting him and wasn't going to let them do it again.
Sirius moved closer again, half smile growing a little as he took control of the conversation again. "Just so you know, any time you want to feel good again or, hey, maybe even hang out," Inu-yasha didn't seem to hang out much but maybe it was like touch and he'd just been lacking opportunities. "You know how to find me."
"Huh?" Inu-yasha flushed again as Sirius got closer. He couldn't deny that he might want this to happen again, which was still humiliating to admit to himself, but... well, as long as Sirius would keep it secret. "Y-yeah," he said, looking away again.
"Hey, it's ok. No shame. Remember that. But I'll wash off your scent after I leave here, promise."
"Yeah, good," Inu-yasha mumbled. He still didn't know what to do when Sirius was nice like this, and it made him nervous. Which was dumb, and he knew it was dumb, but-- ugh. Whatever.
Sirius just nodded. Best leave it there then. "I'll see myself out." He offered to take pressure off of him.
Inu-yasha just nodded, making a small sound of agreement as he stood up to let Sirius off the bed. He leaned absently against the desk, just to have something to do. Then, against his better judgment, he added, "See ya around, I guess."
"Oh, I'm sure you will."
Inu-yasha just watched as Sirius left. Part of his mind was still spinning, not entirely sure what had just happened; another part still felt strangely good. Which was actually kind of unnerving. He stood there for a few more minutes, arguing with himself, before deciding he was thinking way too much and stomping into the bathroom to take a shower.
