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om_mainAfter music class, Jeanne-Marie tries to get to know the new girl a little. Claudia is wary, but decides maybe she'll check out the Halloween party after all.
When class ended, Jeanne-Marie lingered. The new girl, Claudia--her skill with a guitar struck that recently awakened thing in Jeanne-Marie that answered to the sorts of music she'd never been allowed as a child, the thing Alison and Blaine had been feeding since her arrival. And the girl seemed so funny, she just had to try and talk to her. Plus, it was good to try and make new students, especially the younger ones, feel welcome.
So once most people had filtered out, she approached the girl and her guitar, silent at first, not wanting to interrupt. Just appreciating and smiling.
Claudia had just been playing with some power chords. She liked the feel of the guitar in her hands, even though it was just a cheap electric she'd found at a garage sale three homes ago. Music gave her an outlet, although she'd never really taken formal lessons until now. She had to take certain courses, but at least they didn't all have to be boring.
She was actually getting into it when she realized she had an audience. Which made her stop, because it was one of the older students. "If I'm in the way, I can totally move."
"Please, don't." Jeanne-Marie tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, smile becoming almost shy for just a moment. "I like to listen to Alison and Blaine, when they play. You're very good." At least, her fingers moved quickly to form the chords on the fretboard--Jeanne-Marie had learned that much--and the girl knew what she was talking about in class.
"You're joking, right? Me? Good?" Claudia asked, clearly confused by that. "I'm nothing special. Not at this."
She plucked one string, then another, frowning slightly as they'd gotten out of tune. Not badly, but it was there. She'd been mushing around some of the notes and it always ruined the tension, so she turned the tuning peg automatically.
Jeanne-Marie laughed quietly. "I am sure you are better than you think, but it's possible that I am easily impressed by people who can play instruments. I love music, but I can only sing a little.
"Have you ever played with others?"
"I don't even really play for others," Claudia admitted, ducking her head a little. "I just started playing a while back when I found a cheap guitar. It was something I could do in my room."
She hadn't tried to reach out much, although the school seemed to be trying to push her that way.
"I can understand that," Jeanne-Marie said, gaze sliding over the guitar appreciatively. Maybe it was cheap, but no matter how her brother and boyfriend had soiled her in the last year, every small luxury was still expensive to Jeanne-Marie. "But if you ever wanted someone to play with, I know Ali and Blaine would like to. They're playing at the Halloween party."
Claudia shifted slightly, distrust entering her gaze. She'd had plenty of people try to get on her good side, try to get something from her. Was it going to be just more of the same here? It wasn't that she minded those shallow relationships, because she wasn't the kind of person to get close to.
"Why?" So many levels in just one word.
Recognizing the look for what it was--she suddenly wondered how much she and Claudia might have in common, actually--Jeanne-Marie merely continued smiling and shrugged one shoulder. She would play along for the moment. "They both love to play and sing just for the pleasure of it--alone or with others. But if you mean why do they do it at the parties--I think they just enjoy entertaining. And our parties are always entertaining."
She didn't think this was the right answer. "Depends on your definition of entertaining, doesn't it? And you just invite anyone you think is good to join the band? I guess I'm not really the joining-up type. Everything's a little too After-School Special for me to believe it.'
She wanted to believe, but she believed too many things that weren't true already. Like that her brother would always be there for her.
"I still think about that sometimes," Jeanne-Marie admitted. "That was not exactly how I put it at first, but it was something like that."
Partly because she had been unaware what an 'after-school special' was, partly because her English hadn't been advanced enough, but it all added up the same.
"But I didn't mean to sound like I thought you should or shouldn't do something. Just that it is there, if you wanted it."
"Why do I think not showing up is a bad idea?" Claudia said, glancing away. "It bugs me. For half my life the only people around me have wanted things from me, not friendship."
She wished she could go other ways, but she didn't want more people to join the casualties of her life so far.
"I don't know if it will help to hear that there are others here who've been through the same." Jeanne-Marie's brother being one of them; now she didn't wonder so much what Claudia had in common with her, but with him. And she wanted even more to befriend her. "For me, it was more that no one cared much at all--or they just wanted to make themselves feel good with charity.
"But I don't think anyone can believe a place is different without trying it for themselves. Maybe that is a good reason to come to the party. See what it's like?"
"I'll think about it," Claudia said, knowing that she probably would go. She should try to fit in, for her own safety. "At least now I have an excuse to be such a freakazoid. And it was more about the money than the charity with most of the homes I ended up passing through. So maybe I prefer knowing what people get out of things up front, rather than waiting for the other shoe to fall. Because it always does."
"It does feel that way." Jeanne-Marie sighed. "The last home I went through, they had enough money, but looking back I think some of the earlier ones--it must have been about that, too. I didn't know much better. And it certainly never got better.
"But I didn't know it could." She supposed it went without saying that here had been much, much better.
"Maybe," Claudia said. "Not everything can be made better, though. Some people are better off alone." And she knew she was one of them. She wasn't going to let anyone else die because of her.
"This world isn't filled with endless wonder."
"I don't know," Jeanne-Marie said. "I haven't seen much of it, yet."
"Who says you missed much?" Claudia retorted, even as she started playing around a little. She started with the riff from Me First the Gimme-Gimmes' cover of "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina." If she wanted to hear more playing that part was easy.
"No one has ever said that I missed much, though I'm sure they think it often." Jeanne-Marie smiled again, settling on a desk and crossing one leg over the other, then leaning forward. She rested an elbow on her thigh and her chin in her hand. "But even just coming here has proven to me that I missed a lot growing up sheltered as I did.
"Anyhow, I doubt the wonder would be endless, even so," she conceded.
"It was something one of my foster moms said. It always seemed like an excuse to me," Claudia said, still playing around a bit. "I guess being able to play is just an extension. It's a form of math, wave dynamics and so on."
She wanted to drop this. All of it, because she'd been lost in her own place for a while.
"Mmm, that's what Tessa says; it's how I decided I didn't mind math so much, actually. It's a language everyone can understand, so it makes sense, since music is like that too." To Jeanne-Marie, this was evidence of the divine--how could it be anything else? But she knew better than to say that to someone she didn't know. It would sound like preaching.
Claudia smiled a bit. "There's also a lot of just how most people hear things. It's really neat when you find out that an octave exactly doubles the wavelength of the preceding note. And certain chord progressions have to resolve certain ways, according to the theory. But that changes a bit when you go from Western music like most of the stuff we cover in class to Middle and Far Eastern styles. They also put more notes in a scale.
"At least, that's what I love about it. What it says about us, even if we don't always listen to whats around us."
"Selective listening," Jeanne-Marie agreed with an almost-silent chuckle. "I've read some things, about how changing the progression can affect the way the brain reacts to music, depending on what it's been trained to expect. But I am not so advanced in music theory yet."
"We all have our little talents, wouldn't you say? I guess I just prefer staying where there's more order than chaos. Music is all about order, after all."
She wasn't trying to push Jeanne-Marie away, she just couldn't see why one of the upperclassmen would think she was worthwhile. And with all the things that were happening with mutant rights out in the world just now, she really didn't want to play a role in shaping the future. At least not until she knew it wouldn't get her killed like that Dupree chick.
"Maybe I will go to that dance. It could be interesting."
"There will be chaos," Jeanne-Marie said with a soft smile. "But plenty of music, too. If for nothing else, maybe just come to hear that for a while."
"So, I'll see you around, then?" Then she hesitated, realizing although she knew Jeanne-Marie's name from class and online, she'd never asked. "Do you go by Jeanne-Marie, or just Jeanne?"
Knowing a dismissal when she heard one (still smiling--of course, the girl wanted to play in private and be comfortable!), Jeanne-Marie scooted off the desk and stood. "Jeanne-Marie. Sometimes people say J.M., though. I don't mind."
When class ended, Jeanne-Marie lingered. The new girl, Claudia--her skill with a guitar struck that recently awakened thing in Jeanne-Marie that answered to the sorts of music she'd never been allowed as a child, the thing Alison and Blaine had been feeding since her arrival. And the girl seemed so funny, she just had to try and talk to her. Plus, it was good to try and make new students, especially the younger ones, feel welcome.
So once most people had filtered out, she approached the girl and her guitar, silent at first, not wanting to interrupt. Just appreciating and smiling.
Claudia had just been playing with some power chords. She liked the feel of the guitar in her hands, even though it was just a cheap electric she'd found at a garage sale three homes ago. Music gave her an outlet, although she'd never really taken formal lessons until now. She had to take certain courses, but at least they didn't all have to be boring.
She was actually getting into it when she realized she had an audience. Which made her stop, because it was one of the older students. "If I'm in the way, I can totally move."
"Please, don't." Jeanne-Marie tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, smile becoming almost shy for just a moment. "I like to listen to Alison and Blaine, when they play. You're very good." At least, her fingers moved quickly to form the chords on the fretboard--Jeanne-Marie had learned that much--and the girl knew what she was talking about in class.
"You're joking, right? Me? Good?" Claudia asked, clearly confused by that. "I'm nothing special. Not at this."
She plucked one string, then another, frowning slightly as they'd gotten out of tune. Not badly, but it was there. She'd been mushing around some of the notes and it always ruined the tension, so she turned the tuning peg automatically.
Jeanne-Marie laughed quietly. "I am sure you are better than you think, but it's possible that I am easily impressed by people who can play instruments. I love music, but I can only sing a little.
"Have you ever played with others?"
"I don't even really play for others," Claudia admitted, ducking her head a little. "I just started playing a while back when I found a cheap guitar. It was something I could do in my room."
She hadn't tried to reach out much, although the school seemed to be trying to push her that way.
"I can understand that," Jeanne-Marie said, gaze sliding over the guitar appreciatively. Maybe it was cheap, but no matter how her brother and boyfriend had soiled her in the last year, every small luxury was still expensive to Jeanne-Marie. "But if you ever wanted someone to play with, I know Ali and Blaine would like to. They're playing at the Halloween party."
Claudia shifted slightly, distrust entering her gaze. She'd had plenty of people try to get on her good side, try to get something from her. Was it going to be just more of the same here? It wasn't that she minded those shallow relationships, because she wasn't the kind of person to get close to.
"Why?" So many levels in just one word.
Recognizing the look for what it was--she suddenly wondered how much she and Claudia might have in common, actually--Jeanne-Marie merely continued smiling and shrugged one shoulder. She would play along for the moment. "They both love to play and sing just for the pleasure of it--alone or with others. But if you mean why do they do it at the parties--I think they just enjoy entertaining. And our parties are always entertaining."
She didn't think this was the right answer. "Depends on your definition of entertaining, doesn't it? And you just invite anyone you think is good to join the band? I guess I'm not really the joining-up type. Everything's a little too After-School Special for me to believe it.'
She wanted to believe, but she believed too many things that weren't true already. Like that her brother would always be there for her.
"I still think about that sometimes," Jeanne-Marie admitted. "That was not exactly how I put it at first, but it was something like that."
Partly because she had been unaware what an 'after-school special' was, partly because her English hadn't been advanced enough, but it all added up the same.
"But I didn't mean to sound like I thought you should or shouldn't do something. Just that it is there, if you wanted it."
"Why do I think not showing up is a bad idea?" Claudia said, glancing away. "It bugs me. For half my life the only people around me have wanted things from me, not friendship."
She wished she could go other ways, but she didn't want more people to join the casualties of her life so far.
"I don't know if it will help to hear that there are others here who've been through the same." Jeanne-Marie's brother being one of them; now she didn't wonder so much what Claudia had in common with her, but with him. And she wanted even more to befriend her. "For me, it was more that no one cared much at all--or they just wanted to make themselves feel good with charity.
"But I don't think anyone can believe a place is different without trying it for themselves. Maybe that is a good reason to come to the party. See what it's like?"
"I'll think about it," Claudia said, knowing that she probably would go. She should try to fit in, for her own safety. "At least now I have an excuse to be such a freakazoid. And it was more about the money than the charity with most of the homes I ended up passing through. So maybe I prefer knowing what people get out of things up front, rather than waiting for the other shoe to fall. Because it always does."
"It does feel that way." Jeanne-Marie sighed. "The last home I went through, they had enough money, but looking back I think some of the earlier ones--it must have been about that, too. I didn't know much better. And it certainly never got better.
"But I didn't know it could." She supposed it went without saying that here had been much, much better.
"Maybe," Claudia said. "Not everything can be made better, though. Some people are better off alone." And she knew she was one of them. She wasn't going to let anyone else die because of her.
"This world isn't filled with endless wonder."
"I don't know," Jeanne-Marie said. "I haven't seen much of it, yet."
"Who says you missed much?" Claudia retorted, even as she started playing around a little. She started with the riff from Me First the Gimme-Gimmes' cover of "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina." If she wanted to hear more playing that part was easy.
"No one has ever said that I missed much, though I'm sure they think it often." Jeanne-Marie smiled again, settling on a desk and crossing one leg over the other, then leaning forward. She rested an elbow on her thigh and her chin in her hand. "But even just coming here has proven to me that I missed a lot growing up sheltered as I did.
"Anyhow, I doubt the wonder would be endless, even so," she conceded.
"It was something one of my foster moms said. It always seemed like an excuse to me," Claudia said, still playing around a bit. "I guess being able to play is just an extension. It's a form of math, wave dynamics and so on."
She wanted to drop this. All of it, because she'd been lost in her own place for a while.
"Mmm, that's what Tessa says; it's how I decided I didn't mind math so much, actually. It's a language everyone can understand, so it makes sense, since music is like that too." To Jeanne-Marie, this was evidence of the divine--how could it be anything else? But she knew better than to say that to someone she didn't know. It would sound like preaching.
Claudia smiled a bit. "There's also a lot of just how most people hear things. It's really neat when you find out that an octave exactly doubles the wavelength of the preceding note. And certain chord progressions have to resolve certain ways, according to the theory. But that changes a bit when you go from Western music like most of the stuff we cover in class to Middle and Far Eastern styles. They also put more notes in a scale.
"At least, that's what I love about it. What it says about us, even if we don't always listen to whats around us."
"Selective listening," Jeanne-Marie agreed with an almost-silent chuckle. "I've read some things, about how changing the progression can affect the way the brain reacts to music, depending on what it's been trained to expect. But I am not so advanced in music theory yet."
"We all have our little talents, wouldn't you say? I guess I just prefer staying where there's more order than chaos. Music is all about order, after all."
She wasn't trying to push Jeanne-Marie away, she just couldn't see why one of the upperclassmen would think she was worthwhile. And with all the things that were happening with mutant rights out in the world just now, she really didn't want to play a role in shaping the future. At least not until she knew it wouldn't get her killed like that Dupree chick.
"Maybe I will go to that dance. It could be interesting."
"There will be chaos," Jeanne-Marie said with a soft smile. "But plenty of music, too. If for nothing else, maybe just come to hear that for a while."
"So, I'll see you around, then?" Then she hesitated, realizing although she knew Jeanne-Marie's name from class and online, she'd never asked. "Do you go by Jeanne-Marie, or just Jeanne?"
Knowing a dismissal when she heard one (still smiling--of course, the girl wanted to play in private and be comfortable!), Jeanne-Marie scooted off the desk and stood. "Jeanne-Marie. Sometimes people say J.M., though. I don't mind."
