Betsy and Brian, backdated to Mar. 30

[om_psylocke]

Betsy and Brian invite their parents to the US for the holiday weekend so that they can explain why Betsy hasn't been home. Their parents take the news pretty decently, but the twins end up having their own disagreements after that drama has died down.



Brian unbuttoned his shirt, and untucked it from his trousers, before letting himself relax on to one of the beds.  He did not know quite what he had expected when his parents had agreed to come to the States for a visit, but he'd not been prepared for this level of emotion.   To be honest, it was rather exhausting, and he was thankful that he was back in their room with the relative silence of his own thoughts.

Well, and Betsy of course.  But that was hardly an imposition of any kind.

Betsy came out of the suite bathroom wrapped in a bathrobe and pajamas. She peered at Brian and walked over before sitting on the edge of his bed. She'd been very worried about this meeting with their parents, especially concerned that they wouldn't be able to handle the new body, despite how well they'd handled Brian's powers and his accident. Her brother had been upset enough when he found out what she'd kept from him. Their parents weren't even mutants.

Overall, it'd gone better than she'd hoped. Having Brian introduce her was terrifying, but they'd explained everything... it was a bit of a crying mess, but their parents were very open-minded individuals. They might not fully understand, but they accepted that she was Betsy. That was the most important part. They believed her.

This certainly was exhausting.

Betsy edged a little closer. "Hey," she said.

Of course he knew who it was, but nevertheless, he turned his head to see her.  "Are you alright?"   He asked without preamble.  After all, as draining as it might have been for him, and as important as it had been to Brian for his parents to accept Betsy as she now was, it had not been him who was 'on the line.'

She considered and then climbed up fully on to the bed and tucked herself against him, hugging him tightly. "I will be. That was terrifying."

He stretched out in order to wrap an arm around her, careful not to accidentally apply too much pressure.  "You held up quite well."  Brian squeezed her gently.  "I knew you would, of course, but it was impressive nonetheless."

"I really didn't know how this would turn out," she admitted quietly.

Brian turned and kissed the crown of her head.  "You are their daughter.  And they love you."   He had to confess, he'd been nervous as well, but he'd been quite certain in that fact.  His nervousness had been more for their parents' outward reactions and Betsy's continued adjustment than any fear of true rejection.

"It still feels like a part of me died. I know that's not true. What I was... I'm still me. It just takes a lot of getting used to, and I know I look nothing like us anymore. everything is so different now."

That sounded far beyond even a fear of their parents, and more like something else.  Something fundamental to his sister herself, and that was actually far more pressing to him than anything to do with their parents.  "Do you feel that way?  Truly?  That part of you died?  Or that you are no longer yourself?"

Brian hoped she didn't.  She was still her after all.  And if she was right that perhaps she no longer looked like him - or Jamie or their parents - she certainly still understood him (and them) far better than anyone.  She was still herself, and still family, and still the most important person he knew.

She tucked her cheek against his shoulder, shutting her eyes. "Sometimes," she admitted. "When I catch myself in the mirror, or through someone's eyes. There are still times when I think it shouldn't be me. I can't go back, but I still have moments... And I felt it. That split second where I thought that it was all over, and then I was just stuck in here."

"You're more than just a body, you know," Brian reminded her softly.  He knew that she knew, but perhaps she could do with the reminder.  "You've a spirit and passion and intellect that shine through no matter the color of your hair.  I saw them the moment I saw you when I arrived at the school.  I recognized you immediately."

She sighed and hugged him tighter again. "I'm glad you know me. I always see myself in you, and know I'm not lost."

"I am glad.  I would never want you to be lost, you know.  When you were gone....nothing was right anymore."

"I promise I won't do that again."

"Why did you before?"  He asked.  It had bothered him from the moment she had vanished, and Brian knew that, no matter how childish it might sound that it had been there in his mind ever since.  Why had she left?  Not just England, or even their family -- though he disagreed, those he felt he might at least be able to understand.  But him.  Why had she left him?

"I was a mess, Bri." she reached for his hand, squeezing. "I wasn't sure if I was okay, or if I was still me enough... I had no way to explain what was happening. I can't say I was thinking rationally."

"But...I am me."  It was out before he could even think to stop it, but he refused to feel ashamed now.  After all, this was Betsy.  If she could not handle him at his most petulant, no one could.

"On the small chance that you couldn't accept this was still me... telling you what happened included telling you were sister was dead. I couldn't..."

Brian frowned.  He could not imagine the horror he would feel at such words, but there was more to what had occurred than that.  For he had still received disastrous news -- had been told that his sister had been kidnapped, returned, and then vanished again.

"That is news that I hope to never receive.  But......did you truly believe it was better, my not knowing?  Being unsure if you were dead or alive, and then if you had chosen to cut me from your life?"

"I was alive. At least you knew I was somewhere, and alive. That's all I could manage at the time, Brian."

Brian was unsure if he had simply managed to explain adequately, or if she truly was minimizing the sort of pain he had felt when he'd been told his sister was alive and did not wish to see or speak to him.  It was frustrating and, ever aware of his mutation-enhanced strength, he pulled his arm away from her so that he could not accidentally injure her.

"Fine."

"Would you hold this against Jamie if he couldn't explain something to you?" Betsy asked quietly. It felt like she was repeatedly hitting a brick wall with this topic, and she'd never have an adequate explanation.

"That's different, as you well know.  Jamie is not always able to do such things, and frankly....he's not you Elizabeth.  And family though he may be, I fear I do have favorites."

"I was catatonic, Brian. When it happened. I wasn't exactly in the best shape when I came back from it." She moved to lean against the headboard, feeling more alone than she should so close to her brother. If he didn't get it, then she wasn't doing this again. She didn't like going back to the beginning. It made her feel sick. There was plenty she blocked out and was not dealing with.

More and more anger and frustration, and Brian had nothing he knew how to do to reduce it.  But, he managed to realize through the slight red haze, he was primarily angry with the situation.  With his place in her life.  Not with her, at least not really. 

She had decided that she could do better without him.  And his dislike of that fact did not make it untrue.  Betsy simply did not need him the way he needed her, he reminded himself.

Betsy moved away, looking like she might be sick. Slowly she moved to the edge of the bed. "You're wrong. I can't do this anymore, Brian. I really can't. I never said I made the right call, or that I was in any state to make decisions. You're holding my actions against me when I can't even give reasons why I took them other than I wasn't okay. Maybe I would have been better with you there, probably I would have, but that's what happened. I can't take any of it back, any of it. You didn't hold my choices against me when I was whole and well and you went to school and I traveled. Don't hold this against me. I am not as perfect as you think I am. Even I fall apart and fuck up sometimes."

He let his head fall back to the bed, and closed his eyes.  He could not take it for long, looking at her face when she looked like that.  Upset.  Ill.  And because of him, no less.  "I do not expect perfection from you."  Brian said, his voice strange and thick to his own ears. 

This was one of those rare times that he loathed when he could not see the proper outcome, could not navigate from where he was to where he wanted to be.  And where was that even?  Betsy was right -- she could not go back and change what had been done, even had she wished to. 

And if he was unable to come to terms with that, he might lose her.  Again.  No matter his own hurt, or her inability to understand it, the only way to come out in an acceptable manner was for him to let her blame him for this impasse.    

Brian Braddock loathed losing, but he would lose if required to keep his sister.

"You are right.  I apologize."

She got up and went over to the second bed, grabbing a pillow and hugging it to her chest as she sat down. She didn't believe for a minute that this issue was over. This was one of the many times she hated being a telepath. She didn't need to know his exact thoughts to know how he felt. For once, she wanted to call her brother an idiot. There was something wrong with all of the Braddock children. It was surprising that Brian didn't realize it.

The room was silent for several minutes as Brian lay on his bed, face turned towards the ceiling eyes determinately shut, as his sister sought refuge.  This time, however, from him rather than with him.  "I suppose you are angry at me," he finally observed.

"I'm exhausted," she said weakly. She lay down on the bed, facing towards him but burying herself against the pillow.

Another long stretch, before glanced over at her, which made his chest hurt in a non-specific way.  He had done terrible damage it seemed, but Brian was unsure how to fix it.  And his tendency towards reticence likely did not help.

"I do love you, you know.  This would be quite a bit simpler if I did not care."

"I know, Brian. I would never question that." Anyone that Brian loved would have to deal with the joy of her brother not knowing what the hell to do with his emotions. He was a passionate, emotional idiot. Knowing it didn't make it easier, it just meant that she understood why this wasn't worth an argument.

A beat, and then.  "You do know that I am not truly angry at you."

"But you are angry, and I can't fix it." She sighed and pulled at the covers. "I hate my power sometimes."

"You shouldn't," Brian admonished her, looking over at her with surprise written across his usually impassive face.  "It kept you alive."

"It complicates things, and I can't turn them off, especially with you. I don't want to invade your privacy, but even if I block out all the words I can't ignore the shape of how you feel--not when I'm with you. I don't even know when I'm saying things I shouldn't, because it was never said out loud."

"My privacy is the least of my concerns at the moment,"  he said, shrugging from his place on the bed clothes.  "I wanted to help you, and I have managed only to make things worse.  I am sorry."

"I don't want to live in the past, Bri. It terrifies me. We just need... we need to move forward."

"Terrifies you?"  He inquired, looking over.  This was Betsy.  Nothing terrified her.

She looked at her brother and sighed. "Yes."

Brian was not yet satisfied with the past, but if she was truly terrified...the right thing to do would be to move past it.  Or to try to, at the very least.  After all, Betsy was his sister, and he would do anything for her.  "Right."

It was one of the many times Betsy considered feeding Brian her experience to Brian telepathically. She was worried it might damage him though if she tried. Betsy pulled at the covers and curled up until she was in a position she could sleep in.

The future...the future...Brian cast his mind about, not entirely certain how precisely to accommodate that desire.  However, he would try.  "We will be 18 soon.  Of age, even here."

Betsy latched on to the change of topic. "I was thinking about that. I was considering talking to the headmasters about room accommodations--because living in a hallway with teenagers is going to get very tiring over the year, and if the security on campus wasn't so good, I'd think about off site housing as an alternative."

"I agree," Brian said immediately.  Primarily because he was not used to having to share such tight quarters with anyone.  Particularly not anyone he was not related to.  "I was also contemplating the possibility of an off-campus location."

"I figure there are plenty floors and other rooms in the mansion itself--it wouldn't hurt to ask, and if they aren't comfortable opening up those portions of the building then we should likely get a flat."

He smiled slightly.  "After all of this, would you truly want to share a flat with me?"

"I'm not talking about a single bedroom, Brian. Frankly, it anyone else would call what we can afford a house."

"Mmmm...true," he said, utterly unconcerned with the cost of such an endeavor.  "However, the end result would still be you would be forced to share a great deal of space with me."

"We already live together, Brian. You're rather large, but not that large."

Brian laughed.  He was, after all, in a rather safe place to do so.  If he could not be honest with Elizabeth, he did not believe he could be honest with anyone.  Once he had returned to calm equilibrium, he asked, "is it odd, for you, to live with me again?"

She shrugged. "Not really? Most of the places I've been living since I moved away haven't felt very much like homes. Plenty of small flats or hotel rooms. Having you here makes it feel much more like I'm living in some kind of home, instead of being transient."

"I am glad.  You are...well,you know, I am certain."

"It's good having you with me, also." She agreed

They sat in companionable silence for a moment before Brian inquired, "Should we do something, do you think?  For our birthday?"

Betsy considered. "We should."

"What sort of event, do you think, should we host?"  He wondered.  "I admit, I am not particularly close with many of the other pupils.  I do not know that I would normally invite them to any sort of party."

"I think we should go out, someplace nice. I can think a number of people who would know how to have a good evening, we don't have to have a giant party. Something that suits us better."

"A smaller gathering then," Brian agreed, more relieved than he cared to admit.  He understood the requirement of hosting a party for their birthday, but he had never been one to enjoy the sort of large-scale soirees many of their peers had held.  A more intimate setting would suit him far better.

"It would be a good excuse to have an extravagant meal that lasts for hours."

"Should it be only a meal then, do you think?"  He pondered.  Even with a smaller group that he had some control over, he was wondering if some liquid socialization might be appropriate.  "Or ought we choose a venue with multiple functions?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Well," Brian mused aloud.  "Do we wish to have dancing, cocktails, music....?"

"Do you wish to have dancing?" Betsy asked. She wouldn't mind, but this was Brian. "Also, as for cocktails... we'd have to make arrangements, since this country has such ridiculous drinking policies, and we're the oldest of our current acquaintances. Except for Lydia."

"I do not believe that procuring a staff that will check identification less-than strenuously for the proper price,"  he pointed out.  "And as you are no doubt aware, despite our parents best efforts I am not an adept dancer.  However, it is your birthday."

"We could go old fashioned and have a gentleman's lounge off to the side of a dance floor," Betsy said, lips finally quirking with a smile. "But that's not necessary. Conversation, food, friends... and music, yes. These would all be good."

"Is there anything you want out of this birthday?"  He asked.  Brian looked over at her seriously, pointing out, "we've not always been able to celebrate together, as of recent.  I will do whatever you would like."

"I haven't had very huge celebrations in your absence," Betsy admitted. "I think finding a new balance with the people we know now will be nice. Nothing too over the top. No fire juggling or skydiving involved at least."

He nodded, turning his gaze back up to the ceiling.  He lie there silently for the moment.  This party was to a reunion, of sorts.  This should be a happy conversation, and instead Elizabeth was lying across from him in what still felt like utter discomfort.  A trying day, and no matter the conversation now, a night that Brian had made trying as well.

He sighed softly and pushed himself upright, rising off the bed and walking over to hers and offering her his hand.  "Come here a moment?"

Betsy looked up at him and then moved to go to him.

Brian tugged her gently over and hugged her. 

It was odd that this still didn't feel more odd.  She was so much smaller now - between her body changes and his own growth - but hugging her still felt like it always had.  But he was afraid to say that now, and remind her of it.  He could only handle so much of this emotional roller coaster.

Maybe it wasn't such a terrible thing that she could not tuck against him like this. Betsy hugged him back, cheek tucked against his shoulder. "Love you, Brian."

"I love you, too.  And I'm sorry.  That I was angry.  It...."  he sighed, and shook his head a little.  "I wasn't angry at you."


"I understand," she murmured. "We have a great deal of lost time to make up for I think."

Brian swallowed.  He could mention all the things they had missed, all the time lost.  After all, she had mentioned it and she was not wrong.  But that's what had gotten him into this mess, wasn't it?  Talking about the time they had lost?  Better to do as she had asked earlier, he reckoned.

"No.  We've a great deal of things to do in the future."