Simon and Jean-Paul, backdated 12/24
Dec. 24th, 2015 05:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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om_mainJean-Paul and Simon have a private Christmas Eve together. Jean-Paul does his best to be reassuring. It's not usually a strong point...
Jean-Paul hadn't paid much attention to decorating the apartment on previous holidays. The apartment was a place he and Simon stayed to get a little privacy, or to save them a late drive home if some errand or another kept them (or an acquaintance) in the city until ungodly hours. It wasn't home. And you didn't decorate storage space.
Since the cabin, though, ever since Simon had confided in him just how insecure he was feeling, Jean-Paul had been making an effort to be more attentive. Not just to whether Simon was eating or sleeping, but more tuned in to his moods. And Simon had been feeling more low than high lately. Definitely something that warranted a little effort on the part of his boyfriend.
So when they entered the apartment for a private Christmas Eve together, Simon found it fully decorated, from the more traditional fir centerpieces and modest tree, to the modernity of the a Yule log crackling merrily away on the TV screen.
"What do you think? Perhaps we can make the most of the holiday here?" Jean-Paul asked casually, taking Simon's jacket for hanging.
Simon had stuttered to a stop in the entrance, zombie-handing Jean-Paul his coat as he took in the sight, clearly dumbfounded. "What..."
"I didn't want you to feel like I was just going through the motions with regard to the holiday," Jean-Paul explained. "I made a few trips down on my own to get things set up. We can do the whole bit. Decorating the tree, dinner with just us. Everything."
Simon just turned toward him, coiled a hand in his shirt and tugged him forward into a soft, appreciative kiss. It was the only answer he could think to provide. This...this, the tree and the decorations and the quiet celebration...he'd missed this. Ever since he'd left Williamsburg behind, he'd had a small hole in his life when Christmas was concerned. A fir tree, crackling fire, decorations, ice skating, Nutcracker shaped hole that he didn't really talk about but nursed just the same. Apparently, Jean-Paul had filled it without even realizing.
Jean-Paul made a quiet sound of surprise at the kiss, but quickly relaxed into it. He'd hoped Simon would like the surprise, but apparently he'd done even better than he'd hoped. He wrapped his arms around Simon, holding him even once they'd broken the kiss.
"I did good, then?"
"You did amazing," Simon breathed against his cheek, sliding his arms around Jean-Paul's waist. "I didn't think you cared much about this."
"Well, holidays are supposed to be about the people we spend them with, non?" Jean-Paul hugged him tight for a moment. "And you are someone I care very, very much about, Simon Tam. Want to see the ornaments I got or no?"
"If they are shaped like bodily organs, I will kill you," Simon told him dryly, releasing him from the hug.
"Please!" Jean-Paul swept him off his feet in retaliation and took to the air in a hover. "I am taking this seriously! Though there might be a tinsel caduceus or five waiting for you in there."
"J'Paul!" Simon squawked, shooting a small, if not entirely genuine glare. For all that the carrying around bit annoyed him, he'd gotten used to Jean-Paul's whims, mostly tolerating them with a wry smile.
"I know, I know. It's traditional to have a reindeer and sleigh, but they were all out." Jean-Paul landed besides the tree, which was only about as tall as he was, and pulled Simon down to the floor to open the decorations.
"You're incorrigible," Simon told him resolutely, but took a seat beside him, bracing a hand behind himself as he watched Jean-Paul with the ornaments. "But you're also kind of incredible, so I'll give you a pass."
Jean-Paul flashed Simon that wide, imperfect smile of his, the one that never showed up in public. "You give me motivation to be so."
Simon caught his chin and ducked in for another kiss, just enjoying the warmth and quiet and beauty of the moment.
----------
The tree was decorated, the lamb was in the oven, and Simon was bundled on the sofa with a blanket, a mug of mulled wine, and a warm speedster. There were still presents to be opened, but, for once, neither of them were willing to consider that there might be a need to rush things. The only thing the picture lacked was a real fireplace, but there was really only so much that could be done with their current set-up.
Simon took another sip of his wine, then dropped his head back against Jean-Paul's shoulder with a smile. "You. Are definitely getting sex tonight."
"I may not be good for much." Jean-Paul clinked their mugs together, then chuckled and rested his cheek against Simon's hair. "I have not been pacing myself, you see. You might have to carry me to bed for a change."
Simon huffed a shuddering laugh. "Mmm I think I might enjoy that..."
"You'd wreck that back of yours. And we need you in good health, non?" Jean-Paul kissed the top of his head and huffed a quiet sigh. "I guess part of this is apology. I love you, but I know I'm a stubborn, bullheaded bastard sometimes. I look after you, but I don't always pay attention to you. Not the same thing. So. I'll try to do better."
Simon turned to look at him, clearly confused by the confession. "Pay attention to me?"
"Mmm." Jean-Paul leaned back eyeing the ceiling as he tried to piece his thoughts together. "It's one thing to ask how you are. If you've eaten or slept. It's another to pay close attention to you and your answers. Like when you weren't sleeping. I should have known something wasn't right before I tripped over a bottle of pills. So I'll pay closer attention."
Sighing, Simon leaned back against him again. "I think that goes for both of us. I never actually asked you if it was ok that I did my rounds at the hospital here in New York."
"We just get complacent with each other sometimes. Too comfortable." Jean-Paul pulled him into a kiss. "That's not altogether bad. Considering."
Simon swallowed the words in a second kiss, and then a third, and had to remind himself that they were having an important conversation before drawing away to nose at Jean-Paul's cheek. "I know I'm also busy."
"I still should have seen how stressed you were getting before the business with the cabin came up."
Shaking his head, Simon pulled away a little. "That was something of a sudden realization. Don't start second-guessing yourself, and don't start obsessing over my moods. I will knock you on your ass, speedster or no."
Jean-Paul snorted softly. "Not so sudden that you didn't have time to pick up security equipment. But point taken. I'll be attentive. Not smothering."
"Thank you," Simon sighed, sinking back down against him.
Jean-Paul smiled and cuddled up shamelessly. "So what does an old married couple do when they're alone on Christmas Eve?"
"Please. Like you are ever getting old," Simon chuckled softly.
"We'll have been together longer than my parents were married come our next anniversary," Jean-Paul pointed out. "That's odd to think about, non?"
"That's actually kind of terrifying," his boyfriend blurted without thinking.
Jean-Paul slid his fingers into Simon's hair. "It's not the most comforting thought considering how that ended, but why terrifying?"
The fingers in his hair distracted him, and Simon leaned into it, taking a moment to actually think about the reaction. "I...suppose I just never thought I would have a real relationship. A partner maybe, but never anything...fulfilling. I don't even know how I've managed to hold on to it this long. I certainly never thought anything that happened as a teenager would carry into adulthood, besides my career."
"You never thought you would have one." Jean-Paul set his mug down and slid his arms around Simon's chest. "Did you want one?"
Simon was quiet for a moment, just listening to the crackling of the log on the television screen. "No. Honestly, I didn't care. It...wasn't a priority."
Jean-Paul freed him just long enough to reach for his mug. He was quiet for a while. "I wanted it," he admitted. "To be special to just one person, to mean more than anyone else. Maybe then I wouldn't be left behind or given up. But I didn't believe I could have it. Being loved... it was something for other people."
Shifting on the couch to turn and face his boyfriend, Simon met his gaze. "I didn't want it because I didn't know what it could be like. You showed me that it's something I do want. Besides, you do deserve to have something good. I hope it's good, at least."
"I don't put myself out like this just for 'good'. You're great, Simon, and you're great for me."
Simon smiled crookedly, a little shyly. "Then you deserve it. You always have. You're the kind of person who deserves everything good that comes to you. Despite being an asshole, you have the most caring heart I have ever known, next to River's. Maybe, and don't tell her I told you this, even more so." He smirked. "She can be a real brat."
"She can afford to be, non?" Jean-Paul smirked. He tried not think about what he did or didn't deserve. That was bound to get painful. "She never had to doubt for a moment that you'd forgive her for any of her trespasses. But don't talk me up too much, love. That caring heart tends to be reserved for people I'm already invested in."
Simon knew that was a patent lie. So many of the students at Xavier's that Jean-Paul had picked up in his wake, both as friends and protégés, had been greeted by the speedster's particular brand of care from Day 1. But, this was one of those instances where he couldn't kick over every one of his boyfriend's delusions all at once. Instead he slid back into his arms and changed the subject. "I think you should make me crepes tomorrow before we head back."
"Mmm." Jean-Paul swallowed his wine and added a few more words to his assent. "I can do that. Mascarpone inside and orange syrup on top?"
Simon waved away any planning. "Whatever you think will be best. You're the chef around here."
"The chef has a limited pantry and most stores are closed on Christmas," Jean-Paul reminded him, giving his hair a light tug. "So just making sure I don't need to run out and get anything."
Simon snorted. "Just try and leave..."
"I thought you might feel that way." Jean-Paul kissed the top of his head and snuggled close. "We should do this more often."
"Do you have a mutant with the ability to stop time in your back pocket? Because that would be convenient," Simon hummed, sliding both arms around Jean-Paul's waist, his cheek resting against his shoulder.
"Sorry. It's just me and you tonight. Try to hold back your disappointment."
Simon just started laughing softly, unable to come up with a suitable reply to that. Instead he turned his head and kissed Jean-Paul's neck with a smile.
"I wish I could stop time," Jean-Paul admitted. "It would be worth a lot just to stay here, with you safe and laughing. But I'll settle for the one night."
Squeezing Jean-Paul a bit, Simon sighed against him. "I'll admit, it's a tempting thought. You're softer here. Happier."
"Happier. Not softer." Jean-Paul smirked. "Not around you. But...you do make me feel more like myself. Less like someone who has to keep the world at bay."
Simon sighed. "Even if that were your job, which it's not, you aren't alone. You don't have to do any safe-guarding by yourself."
"I've been doing it since before we met. Don't worry about it, not right now." Jean-Paul sighed and stretched contentedly. "Don't let me sleep through the alarm. Charred lamb and emergency take-out is not the way I want to wrap the season."
Settling in, Simon hummed his assent and reached for the remote. "I'll wake you. Take a nap. I'm going to turn on a Christmas movie."
Jean-Paul hadn't paid much attention to decorating the apartment on previous holidays. The apartment was a place he and Simon stayed to get a little privacy, or to save them a late drive home if some errand or another kept them (or an acquaintance) in the city until ungodly hours. It wasn't home. And you didn't decorate storage space.
Since the cabin, though, ever since Simon had confided in him just how insecure he was feeling, Jean-Paul had been making an effort to be more attentive. Not just to whether Simon was eating or sleeping, but more tuned in to his moods. And Simon had been feeling more low than high lately. Definitely something that warranted a little effort on the part of his boyfriend.
So when they entered the apartment for a private Christmas Eve together, Simon found it fully decorated, from the more traditional fir centerpieces and modest tree, to the modernity of the a Yule log crackling merrily away on the TV screen.
"What do you think? Perhaps we can make the most of the holiday here?" Jean-Paul asked casually, taking Simon's jacket for hanging.
Simon had stuttered to a stop in the entrance, zombie-handing Jean-Paul his coat as he took in the sight, clearly dumbfounded. "What..."
"I didn't want you to feel like I was just going through the motions with regard to the holiday," Jean-Paul explained. "I made a few trips down on my own to get things set up. We can do the whole bit. Decorating the tree, dinner with just us. Everything."
Simon just turned toward him, coiled a hand in his shirt and tugged him forward into a soft, appreciative kiss. It was the only answer he could think to provide. This...this, the tree and the decorations and the quiet celebration...he'd missed this. Ever since he'd left Williamsburg behind, he'd had a small hole in his life when Christmas was concerned. A fir tree, crackling fire, decorations, ice skating, Nutcracker shaped hole that he didn't really talk about but nursed just the same. Apparently, Jean-Paul had filled it without even realizing.
Jean-Paul made a quiet sound of surprise at the kiss, but quickly relaxed into it. He'd hoped Simon would like the surprise, but apparently he'd done even better than he'd hoped. He wrapped his arms around Simon, holding him even once they'd broken the kiss.
"I did good, then?"
"You did amazing," Simon breathed against his cheek, sliding his arms around Jean-Paul's waist. "I didn't think you cared much about this."
"Well, holidays are supposed to be about the people we spend them with, non?" Jean-Paul hugged him tight for a moment. "And you are someone I care very, very much about, Simon Tam. Want to see the ornaments I got or no?"
"If they are shaped like bodily organs, I will kill you," Simon told him dryly, releasing him from the hug.
"Please!" Jean-Paul swept him off his feet in retaliation and took to the air in a hover. "I am taking this seriously! Though there might be a tinsel caduceus or five waiting for you in there."
"J'Paul!" Simon squawked, shooting a small, if not entirely genuine glare. For all that the carrying around bit annoyed him, he'd gotten used to Jean-Paul's whims, mostly tolerating them with a wry smile.
"I know, I know. It's traditional to have a reindeer and sleigh, but they were all out." Jean-Paul landed besides the tree, which was only about as tall as he was, and pulled Simon down to the floor to open the decorations.
"You're incorrigible," Simon told him resolutely, but took a seat beside him, bracing a hand behind himself as he watched Jean-Paul with the ornaments. "But you're also kind of incredible, so I'll give you a pass."
Jean-Paul flashed Simon that wide, imperfect smile of his, the one that never showed up in public. "You give me motivation to be so."
Simon caught his chin and ducked in for another kiss, just enjoying the warmth and quiet and beauty of the moment.
The tree was decorated, the lamb was in the oven, and Simon was bundled on the sofa with a blanket, a mug of mulled wine, and a warm speedster. There were still presents to be opened, but, for once, neither of them were willing to consider that there might be a need to rush things. The only thing the picture lacked was a real fireplace, but there was really only so much that could be done with their current set-up.
Simon took another sip of his wine, then dropped his head back against Jean-Paul's shoulder with a smile. "You. Are definitely getting sex tonight."
"I may not be good for much." Jean-Paul clinked their mugs together, then chuckled and rested his cheek against Simon's hair. "I have not been pacing myself, you see. You might have to carry me to bed for a change."
Simon huffed a shuddering laugh. "Mmm I think I might enjoy that..."
"You'd wreck that back of yours. And we need you in good health, non?" Jean-Paul kissed the top of his head and huffed a quiet sigh. "I guess part of this is apology. I love you, but I know I'm a stubborn, bullheaded bastard sometimes. I look after you, but I don't always pay attention to you. Not the same thing. So. I'll try to do better."
Simon turned to look at him, clearly confused by the confession. "Pay attention to me?"
"Mmm." Jean-Paul leaned back eyeing the ceiling as he tried to piece his thoughts together. "It's one thing to ask how you are. If you've eaten or slept. It's another to pay close attention to you and your answers. Like when you weren't sleeping. I should have known something wasn't right before I tripped over a bottle of pills. So I'll pay closer attention."
Sighing, Simon leaned back against him again. "I think that goes for both of us. I never actually asked you if it was ok that I did my rounds at the hospital here in New York."
"We just get complacent with each other sometimes. Too comfortable." Jean-Paul pulled him into a kiss. "That's not altogether bad. Considering."
Simon swallowed the words in a second kiss, and then a third, and had to remind himself that they were having an important conversation before drawing away to nose at Jean-Paul's cheek. "I know I'm also busy."
"I still should have seen how stressed you were getting before the business with the cabin came up."
Shaking his head, Simon pulled away a little. "That was something of a sudden realization. Don't start second-guessing yourself, and don't start obsessing over my moods. I will knock you on your ass, speedster or no."
Jean-Paul snorted softly. "Not so sudden that you didn't have time to pick up security equipment. But point taken. I'll be attentive. Not smothering."
"Thank you," Simon sighed, sinking back down against him.
Jean-Paul smiled and cuddled up shamelessly. "So what does an old married couple do when they're alone on Christmas Eve?"
"Please. Like you are ever getting old," Simon chuckled softly.
"We'll have been together longer than my parents were married come our next anniversary," Jean-Paul pointed out. "That's odd to think about, non?"
"That's actually kind of terrifying," his boyfriend blurted without thinking.
Jean-Paul slid his fingers into Simon's hair. "It's not the most comforting thought considering how that ended, but why terrifying?"
The fingers in his hair distracted him, and Simon leaned into it, taking a moment to actually think about the reaction. "I...suppose I just never thought I would have a real relationship. A partner maybe, but never anything...fulfilling. I don't even know how I've managed to hold on to it this long. I certainly never thought anything that happened as a teenager would carry into adulthood, besides my career."
"You never thought you would have one." Jean-Paul set his mug down and slid his arms around Simon's chest. "Did you want one?"
Simon was quiet for a moment, just listening to the crackling of the log on the television screen. "No. Honestly, I didn't care. It...wasn't a priority."
Jean-Paul freed him just long enough to reach for his mug. He was quiet for a while. "I wanted it," he admitted. "To be special to just one person, to mean more than anyone else. Maybe then I wouldn't be left behind or given up. But I didn't believe I could have it. Being loved... it was something for other people."
Shifting on the couch to turn and face his boyfriend, Simon met his gaze. "I didn't want it because I didn't know what it could be like. You showed me that it's something I do want. Besides, you do deserve to have something good. I hope it's good, at least."
"I don't put myself out like this just for 'good'. You're great, Simon, and you're great for me."
Simon smiled crookedly, a little shyly. "Then you deserve it. You always have. You're the kind of person who deserves everything good that comes to you. Despite being an asshole, you have the most caring heart I have ever known, next to River's. Maybe, and don't tell her I told you this, even more so." He smirked. "She can be a real brat."
"She can afford to be, non?" Jean-Paul smirked. He tried not think about what he did or didn't deserve. That was bound to get painful. "She never had to doubt for a moment that you'd forgive her for any of her trespasses. But don't talk me up too much, love. That caring heart tends to be reserved for people I'm already invested in."
Simon knew that was a patent lie. So many of the students at Xavier's that Jean-Paul had picked up in his wake, both as friends and protégés, had been greeted by the speedster's particular brand of care from Day 1. But, this was one of those instances where he couldn't kick over every one of his boyfriend's delusions all at once. Instead he slid back into his arms and changed the subject. "I think you should make me crepes tomorrow before we head back."
"Mmm." Jean-Paul swallowed his wine and added a few more words to his assent. "I can do that. Mascarpone inside and orange syrup on top?"
Simon waved away any planning. "Whatever you think will be best. You're the chef around here."
"The chef has a limited pantry and most stores are closed on Christmas," Jean-Paul reminded him, giving his hair a light tug. "So just making sure I don't need to run out and get anything."
Simon snorted. "Just try and leave..."
"I thought you might feel that way." Jean-Paul kissed the top of his head and snuggled close. "We should do this more often."
"Do you have a mutant with the ability to stop time in your back pocket? Because that would be convenient," Simon hummed, sliding both arms around Jean-Paul's waist, his cheek resting against his shoulder.
"Sorry. It's just me and you tonight. Try to hold back your disappointment."
Simon just started laughing softly, unable to come up with a suitable reply to that. Instead he turned his head and kissed Jean-Paul's neck with a smile.
"I wish I could stop time," Jean-Paul admitted. "It would be worth a lot just to stay here, with you safe and laughing. But I'll settle for the one night."
Squeezing Jean-Paul a bit, Simon sighed against him. "I'll admit, it's a tempting thought. You're softer here. Happier."
"Happier. Not softer." Jean-Paul smirked. "Not around you. But...you do make me feel more like myself. Less like someone who has to keep the world at bay."
Simon sighed. "Even if that were your job, which it's not, you aren't alone. You don't have to do any safe-guarding by yourself."
"I've been doing it since before we met. Don't worry about it, not right now." Jean-Paul sighed and stretched contentedly. "Don't let me sleep through the alarm. Charred lamb and emergency take-out is not the way I want to wrap the season."
Settling in, Simon hummed his assent and reached for the remote. "I'll wake you. Take a nap. I'm going to turn on a Christmas movie."
