River and Simon, Backdated to June 12
Jun. 12th, 2015 10:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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om_mainRiver and Simon share a moment after the attack in New York. It's not easy between them, but they make it work. They eventually decide that it's time to help River remember what happened to her.
River had spent the night tucked in between Doug and Diaval, thankful for their warmth and steadiness. Whatever awkwardness there might have been at first, on their part, had quickly dissipated as they'd focused on her, and she owed them both. Sleep had not come easily, and when it had the old nightmares had been back. Sharp, sharper than she ever meant to be.
Come morning, she had sneaked out of their room after typing a message for Doug on his phone, and silently walked to the junior staff's dorms, a shadow in the halls of the mansion, a shadow in a rumpled light green summer dress. She had sat down right next to Simon and Jean-Paul's door, her back to the wall, and wrapped her arms around her knees. Simon was inside; Simon was alright. That was all that mattered.
Simon was still experiencing vertigo, despite the fact that Faiza had fixed his head. Vertigo, nausea, and nightmares. The night had been a rough one, made better with medication from Moira, but he'd stumbled out of bed at some point in the morning and dragged himself into the shower, desperate to be clean of the sweat clinging to his skin.
When he'd gotten out, he decided he would attempt to make it downstairs, either in search of Jean-Paul, who had left earlier, or River, who he was desperate to check in on. Fortunately for his equilibrium, he didn't have to go far. Despite his usual decorum, on closing the door behind him, he just slid right down beside her onto the floor. "Hey."
For her only greeting, River picked up the skirt of her dress and used it to lace her fingers with Simon's without touching his skin. Then she laid her head on his shoulder, and shifted her body towards him to lay her other hand on his chest, over his heart.
He sighed out, closing his hand around hers. He couldn't really sugarcoat this one, and she wouldn't want him to anyway. Keeping his back to the solidness of the wall, he replied, "I'm alive. My skull's intact and the brain tissue is mostly healed. There are still some rough patches, but most of it should correct itself in time."
"The nightmares will last longer," River murmured against his shoulder.
"It's only fair," he smiled slightly. "You and Jean-Paul have had your share."
"I wish we didn't have to share," River replied, her tone absolutely devoid of humor.
"I know," he agreed softly, letting his eyes slip closed. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"
"They weren't very sharp," River replied, and swallowed around the lump in her throat. "I am," she added, in a whisper.
He didn't need his power to register the anxiety - the fear - in that statement. For some reason, though, it did not frighten him. Sharp. She meant dangerous, which meant that it had something to do with the Facility. He'd suspected, with the assailants already on the ground when the others arrived. On the other hand, they had not been killed. River could control herself, even if she was afraid of it.
"You saved me," he pointed out quietly. "You are, quite literally, my savior."
"I couldn't let them -" River cut herself off when her voice broke, and she cuddled in a little tighter.
He leaned against her a little more. "It's okay, mei-mei. I know. Do you remember what happened? Not - not me. With you."
"I don't want to," she murmured. So, of course, she did.
"But you do," he finished for her.
"Every sound of pain, every snap of bone," River confirmed in a whisper.
Simon was quiet for a moment, not because he was disturbed by her words, but because he hated to cause her pain. It was too soon, he decided. For both of them. Instead, he turned and pressed his lips into her hair for a soft kiss. They were both alive. That was what mattered.
River focused on that feeling as she remained curled against his side, but little by little, it allowed her to relax. Alive, and together.
"Jean-Paul and I were going to invite some of our rescuers over to the apartment for dinner to thank them," Simon told her. "Do you want to come?"
Their rescuers. River remembered, vaguely. Everything after the sharpness was so blurry in comparison. "When?" she asked, focusing on her breathing.
"We haven't decided. Actually, it may only be Philip and Noriko, since they were whom we were speaking about. I may just thank the others in person or with lavish gifts," he smiled into her hair.
River wasn't sure that that was a very good idea, but she only answered with a simple, "Maybe." She was having trouble projecting into tomorrow, anyway, never mind any further into the future.
"Maybe," he breathed softly, closing his eyes and just breathing in the scent of her shampoo.
River was silent for a long moment, just focusing on Simon, but eventually, she spoke up in a barely audible whisper. "You all think I can still be who I want to be." She wasn't so certain, right now.
Simon was quiet for a moment. His instinct was to assure her. Without a doubt. She could be whoever she wanted. She could do whatever she wanted. She was amazing. She was his sister. But he took a step back from that welling of pride and certainty and tried to feel it the way she did.
Finally, he admitted, "I think that depends on who you want to be. But...understand that I will help you to figure out how to live a life that's fulfilling...that makes you happy. If we have to go about it a different way than maybe we'd expected to, then I'm with you all the way."
A couple of tears had escaped her eyes, but she made no move to wipe them away, just stayed curled against Simon. Her brother, her rock, her heart, her life. "I think we need to know. I can't - I haven't wanted to remember it all." But they needed to know.
"Are you sure?" he asked softly. "That you want to know, I mean."
"I don't," River answered, without a doubt, "but I should. We should."
Simon sighed. "What I should have said was: are you ready to take that step?"
River wasn't sure that she was, but she knew that she would have to be. She nodded, then whispered, "Yes." She straightened up to be able to look Simon in the eye. Hers were wide and troubled, but they glinted with determination, too. "We need to know."
He nodded, tired, but in agreement. "Alright. We can start in a few weeks, when my head isn't spinning anymore," he told her wryly.
"Thank you," River whispered, and was silent for a moment. Then she smiled, a little. "They help." They were helping each other, and that in itself was helping the two of them, too, although Simon didn't know it yet.
"They?" Simon asked curiously, brushing River's hair back from her face.
"Jean-Paul and Doug," she replied, looking up into his eyes.
Simon squinted, then sighed. It was no secret that he didn't get along with his sister's boyfriend, but for the most part, he thought it was a difference in world view than anything else. Both of them cared for her, and he recognized that. "I'm glad they help. I'm...glad you have him."
"You'd never think anyone was good enough," River told him, shaking her head. "It's okay."
Simon started to roll his eyes, then stopped when his head protested. "I just don't like him."
"Okay," River answered, too tired to get into it now. She was usually fine with Simon's feelings for Doug, but right now, she had enough trouble keeping herself in check without that. She should've known better than to bring them up.
He sighed and laid his head on top of hers for a moment, just enjoying the silence and the stillness. She was right. It was no time for a fight, and Doug was a good kid, mostly. "I love you," he finally said.
"Wide as all the oceans, immeasurable as the sea," River agreed, and returned the sentiment. That, she could always trust, and her lungs ached with it.
River had spent the night tucked in between Doug and Diaval, thankful for their warmth and steadiness. Whatever awkwardness there might have been at first, on their part, had quickly dissipated as they'd focused on her, and she owed them both. Sleep had not come easily, and when it had the old nightmares had been back. Sharp, sharper than she ever meant to be.
Come morning, she had sneaked out of their room after typing a message for Doug on his phone, and silently walked to the junior staff's dorms, a shadow in the halls of the mansion, a shadow in a rumpled light green summer dress. She had sat down right next to Simon and Jean-Paul's door, her back to the wall, and wrapped her arms around her knees. Simon was inside; Simon was alright. That was all that mattered.
Simon was still experiencing vertigo, despite the fact that Faiza had fixed his head. Vertigo, nausea, and nightmares. The night had been a rough one, made better with medication from Moira, but he'd stumbled out of bed at some point in the morning and dragged himself into the shower, desperate to be clean of the sweat clinging to his skin.
When he'd gotten out, he decided he would attempt to make it downstairs, either in search of Jean-Paul, who had left earlier, or River, who he was desperate to check in on. Fortunately for his equilibrium, he didn't have to go far. Despite his usual decorum, on closing the door behind him, he just slid right down beside her onto the floor. "Hey."
For her only greeting, River picked up the skirt of her dress and used it to lace her fingers with Simon's without touching his skin. Then she laid her head on his shoulder, and shifted her body towards him to lay her other hand on his chest, over his heart.
He sighed out, closing his hand around hers. He couldn't really sugarcoat this one, and she wouldn't want him to anyway. Keeping his back to the solidness of the wall, he replied, "I'm alive. My skull's intact and the brain tissue is mostly healed. There are still some rough patches, but most of it should correct itself in time."
"The nightmares will last longer," River murmured against his shoulder.
"It's only fair," he smiled slightly. "You and Jean-Paul have had your share."
"I wish we didn't have to share," River replied, her tone absolutely devoid of humor.
"I know," he agreed softly, letting his eyes slip closed. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"
"They weren't very sharp," River replied, and swallowed around the lump in her throat. "I am," she added, in a whisper.
He didn't need his power to register the anxiety - the fear - in that statement. For some reason, though, it did not frighten him. Sharp. She meant dangerous, which meant that it had something to do with the Facility. He'd suspected, with the assailants already on the ground when the others arrived. On the other hand, they had not been killed. River could control herself, even if she was afraid of it.
"You saved me," he pointed out quietly. "You are, quite literally, my savior."
"I couldn't let them -" River cut herself off when her voice broke, and she cuddled in a little tighter.
He leaned against her a little more. "It's okay, mei-mei. I know. Do you remember what happened? Not - not me. With you."
"I don't want to," she murmured. So, of course, she did.
"But you do," he finished for her.
"Every sound of pain, every snap of bone," River confirmed in a whisper.
Simon was quiet for a moment, not because he was disturbed by her words, but because he hated to cause her pain. It was too soon, he decided. For both of them. Instead, he turned and pressed his lips into her hair for a soft kiss. They were both alive. That was what mattered.
River focused on that feeling as she remained curled against his side, but little by little, it allowed her to relax. Alive, and together.
"Jean-Paul and I were going to invite some of our rescuers over to the apartment for dinner to thank them," Simon told her. "Do you want to come?"
Their rescuers. River remembered, vaguely. Everything after the sharpness was so blurry in comparison. "When?" she asked, focusing on her breathing.
"We haven't decided. Actually, it may only be Philip and Noriko, since they were whom we were speaking about. I may just thank the others in person or with lavish gifts," he smiled into her hair.
River wasn't sure that that was a very good idea, but she only answered with a simple, "Maybe." She was having trouble projecting into tomorrow, anyway, never mind any further into the future.
"Maybe," he breathed softly, closing his eyes and just breathing in the scent of her shampoo.
River was silent for a long moment, just focusing on Simon, but eventually, she spoke up in a barely audible whisper. "You all think I can still be who I want to be." She wasn't so certain, right now.
Simon was quiet for a moment. His instinct was to assure her. Without a doubt. She could be whoever she wanted. She could do whatever she wanted. She was amazing. She was his sister. But he took a step back from that welling of pride and certainty and tried to feel it the way she did.
Finally, he admitted, "I think that depends on who you want to be. But...understand that I will help you to figure out how to live a life that's fulfilling...that makes you happy. If we have to go about it a different way than maybe we'd expected to, then I'm with you all the way."
A couple of tears had escaped her eyes, but she made no move to wipe them away, just stayed curled against Simon. Her brother, her rock, her heart, her life. "I think we need to know. I can't - I haven't wanted to remember it all." But they needed to know.
"Are you sure?" he asked softly. "That you want to know, I mean."
"I don't," River answered, without a doubt, "but I should. We should."
Simon sighed. "What I should have said was: are you ready to take that step?"
River wasn't sure that she was, but she knew that she would have to be. She nodded, then whispered, "Yes." She straightened up to be able to look Simon in the eye. Hers were wide and troubled, but they glinted with determination, too. "We need to know."
He nodded, tired, but in agreement. "Alright. We can start in a few weeks, when my head isn't spinning anymore," he told her wryly.
"Thank you," River whispered, and was silent for a moment. Then she smiled, a little. "They help." They were helping each other, and that in itself was helping the two of them, too, although Simon didn't know it yet.
"They?" Simon asked curiously, brushing River's hair back from her face.
"Jean-Paul and Doug," she replied, looking up into his eyes.
Simon squinted, then sighed. It was no secret that he didn't get along with his sister's boyfriend, but for the most part, he thought it was a difference in world view than anything else. Both of them cared for her, and he recognized that. "I'm glad they help. I'm...glad you have him."
"You'd never think anyone was good enough," River told him, shaking her head. "It's okay."
Simon started to roll his eyes, then stopped when his head protested. "I just don't like him."
"Okay," River answered, too tired to get into it now. She was usually fine with Simon's feelings for Doug, but right now, she had enough trouble keeping herself in check without that. She should've known better than to bring them up.
He sighed and laid his head on top of hers for a moment, just enjoying the silence and the stillness. She was right. It was no time for a fight, and Doug was a good kid, mostly. "I love you," he finally said.
"Wide as all the oceans, immeasurable as the sea," River agreed, and returned the sentiment. That, she could always trust, and her lungs ached with it.
