Lil and Brian; Sunday Night
Oct. 26th, 2014 06:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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om_mainApologies are hard - especially for two stubborn bricks.
Being a grown up sucked.
Being a grown up initiating a 'serious talk' and apology with her significant other sucked even more.
She'd given them time to cool down - thank goodness for weekends - but with Monday morning classes not too far away, Lil knew it was time to at least test the waters and see where they stood... so at the very least she could tell Jeanne-Marie if she'd be crashing in the speedster's bed again or not.
Unlocking the door, she poked her head into their room and seeing Brian at the desk, worked up a small, half smile. "Hey."
Brian glanced over at the door. Seeing Lil in the doorway, he set down his pencil atop his notebook. "Hello," he replied warily.
"Busy?" she asked as she shut the door behind her. While her stomach was full of nerves, she tried not to let it show. Lil wasn't slinking back with her tail between her legs - or so she told herself. Yes, the situation was handled incorrectly but that didn't mean she was the one who was in the wrong. At least, not the only one in the wrong.
He was still watching her cautiously. "I can spare a few moments, if you wish."
"It's gonna take more than a few moments, Bri," Lil warned him, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "We gotta talk."
"Alright." Brian turned his chair so that he was facing her.
Brushing her bangs from her eyes, Lil bought herself a few more moments to swallow down her fears. "I'm not here to fight, first off. I think we did enough of that the other day, so I'm gonna try to stay as civil as possible and hope you will too, okay?"
He thought he had been perfectly civil in their previous discussion as well, but Brian nodded nonetheless. "Okay."
"Okay," she echoed.
A slow breath in and out didn't stop her hands from fidgeting with the blankets. "I'm sorry I didn't handle things properly when you came home from the party."
"Thank you. I appreciate your apology," Brian said graciously.
"You're welcome." A tiny but sincere smile pulled at the edges of her lips as she looked at him expectantly.
It was clear that Lil was expecting him to say something. Brian was not certain what it was she wanted from him, however. He had done nothing wrong, and thus had nothing to apologize for. Still, he had been well schooled in how to issue an apology under such circumstances. "I am sorry you were upset."
A wave of anger lashed through her but she managed to hold it in check. "Bri... that ain't a real apology," Lil pointed out. "That's a cop-out apology where you don't take any responsibility."
She was absolutely correct, on that point, so Brian did not bother to dispute it with her. "Okay. Frankly, I do not believe I have done anything that merits an apology."
"You... seriously?" Lil asked, blanching at him. "You don't think... didn't you hear a single thing I said before?"
Brian's lips thinned. "I heard what you said before. But, as I indicated then, I do not understand why any of the events that have transpired have upset you so."
"Brian..." She bit down her initial response, forcing herself to keep calm. He really didn't understand? "Okay. Okay. I am upset because in the time we have been living together, a huge step in our relationship and one neither you nor I have ever attempted with another person, things have been going backwards. You said that when you told Betsy about us, it went perfectly well and that she was fine with it and yet, now, I'm not allowed to be in public with you and her because you don't want her to be uncomfortable."
Brian had heard all of that last night. But the fact remained, now as it had then, that this was not about Betsy's dislike of Lil. Elizabeth still hurt from her break-up with Warren Worthington III. His sister's discomfort did not stem from who his date was, but rather that he brought one at all. None of that was anyone's business but Betsy's, though, so he refrained from explanation. "As I said the other night. Elizabeth's objection had nothing to do with you."
"Then, tell me, Bri!" Hazel eyes met his, wide and imploring and not hiding the confusion and pain in them one bit. "Because that's what it feels like to me! I don't understand and it's hurting me, okay? I feels like I'm being punished for something I don't know I did, if I even did it! We moved in together and that part of our life shifted and not in the good way and I don't know why other than it's because of Betsy."
"Betsy," Brian said, voice hardening a touch at Lil's insinuation, "Did not tell me not to bring you. I was under the impression I was not to bring anyone."
"Well, excuse me if that's the first idea that pops into my head when you tell me you're going to a party you have a plus one to without me because you don't want me making your sister - who hates me - uncomfortable." She couldn't help but get a little defensive, not when he was getting his British up.
"I've explained what occurred again, and yet you are still angry at me?" He asked, sounding unimpressed.
"But you haven't explained." Lil protested. Hands tightened into fists in her lap but she continued to control her temper. "This isn't about the party, Bri! I'm not pissed because I didn't get to hang out with my friends and drink. I'm hurt and confused because you didn't want me with you after living together for two months and all I get is the same answer from you as to why over and over without it actually being explained."
Brian let out a slow breath through his nose. "As I have said. My decision not to bring you had naught to do with my desires. Nor was it because of some personal vendetta you insist my sister has against you. What more explanation is needed?
"How about what your decision not to bring me actually had to do with then? Why bring no one when you had a plus one from the host?"
"As I said. I believe Elizabeth preferred I bring no one, for her comfort," he said once again. This was going around in circles, and he was becoming rather frustrated.
Shaking her head slowly, Lil looked away. Defeat swelled in her chest; the icy hot kinda that felt like it would swallow her whole if she let it. Instead, she wiped her hands on her jeans then gestured to her dresser. "Fine then. I'll just grab a couple things and let you get back to whatever you were doing."
Brian's lips tipped downwards into a slight frown. "I do not understand why you are taking such personal affront to something that has nothing to do with my feelings or opinions towards you, or Elizabeth's opinions about you," he commented.
"Because you aren't talking to me about it, Brian. You're talking at me like... like I'm a child who can't know what's going on with the adults."
When she looked back at him, her eyes were sad and glassy. "It affects me and you won't even talk to me about it so what's the point? I made the step, Brian. I came in here to try and make things right and fix us and you're..." Lil shook her head again as her voice trailed off, lost and hurt.
"My sister's reasons are her own, and are personal. I've no permission nor obligation to share them with you," Brian pointed out. "I've told you as much as I can about why I took the actions I did. I've assured you as to the lack of menace in my or Elizabeth's intent.
"I am trying to make things right as well, but you refuse to trust or listen to me."
"Brian..." She put one hand against her head. "You never said that it was personal. You only ever told me it was because of Betsy and wouldn't go beyond that. Can you hear how that sounds and could be interpreted differently?"
Brian did not concede. "I thought I made it rather clear."
Lil shook her head again. "You didn't, Bri." A huff of a sigh was expelled through her lips. "We really need to work on our communication, huh? Botha us. I got a thick skull around a not-so-fast brain; sometimes you gotta be blunt, Bri. Even if you think you're being clear, I ain't always gonna think the same."
He was not entirely certain what 'work on our communication' entailed, but if it meant an end to the argument that did not violate his principles, he might agree to it. "I will endeavor to remember that, in the future."
"Me, too," she promised. A deep breaths filled the next few moments before Lil spoke again. "That was our first fight."
He thought about that observation for a moment. "I dislike quarreling with you," Brian pronounced.
"I don't like it, either." Sliding off the mattress, Lil moved to stand between his legs, arms resting over his shoulder. "We gotta talk better to each other if we don't wanna do it again. So, I'm sorry I made you frustrated and accused you of leaving me behind. It just really hurt to make this huge step with you and think we were in this good place then feel like it did when I got shot."
"Thank you for your apology. I apologize if I was unclear," he replied.
"Bri..." she said softly, lower lip sticking out in a slight pout.
"What?"
"No 'ifs,' please," Lil begged, chest tight and eyes sad.
Brian still did not believe he had been unclear. In fact, he had difficulty thinking of how he could have possibly been any more clear without betraying his sister's confidences. Still, he was uncertain it was on this particular hill he wished to make out a stand, of sorts.
"I am sorry I was unclear."
"Thank you."
It had cost him, she knew, to say the words; knew that his ego was bruised but it had been important to her. And necessary for them to move forward. Cupping his cheeks, Lil leaned forward to kiss him, sweet and long and full of gratitude.
He kissed her back for a moment, before breaking it to ask, "You will be returning to the room, then?" She'd been gone two days, after all.
Her smile bloomed, reaching to touch her eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm coming back, Bri," Lil promised and with another kiss, slid into his lap.
The union swelled, filled of lips and teeth and tongue, until it spun out, forcing them to pull back.
"Do you think," Lil started, nose brushing against the tip of his, fingers playing with the hair at the base of his skull as she continued to beam, "that maybe we can come up with an agreement? I'll skip all the big, high society galas and fundraisers but when it comes to the infrequent school things, including classmates parties, I can be your date? I miss going out with you, Bri."
"We may be able to reach an accord," Brian said. Though he knew he would need to consult with his sister.
"Mm. Good." Her mouth found his yet again though this time the kisses were brief. "And what about non-party stuff, Your Highness? What would you say if I propose some mandatory mutually entertaining social outings? Maybe two nights a month? No gym, no lab. Just me and you, getting outta here - or staying in, but doing something together. And with clothes on." She really had missed that aspect of their relationship since arriving home from Canada but mourning Alpha Flight was over. It was time to face the world again.
"Must they stay on the entire night?" Brian kissed her again. Perhaps not the most perfect of timing, but he had gone two days without, after all.
Lil laughed against his lips then shook her head. "No, they don't. Just the majority of whatever it is we chose to do." Movies, museums, activities - New York City was their back yard.
Nudging his nose with her own, she turned a bit more serious. "We got what? Six, seven months left together? I wanna continue what we started, Bri. I wanna keep giving each other that place, that safety to be nothing but ourselves. To be silly and crazy and free with each other. I want more... moments. Like the skinny-dipping and our first time. Like the masquerade party when you showed me how devious you could be. Like when you took me to the ocean for the first time or when we woke up together on Christmas or when you took me flying and we watched the sunrise..."
She swallowed hard but forced herself to continue. "I ain't asking for anything else, Bri. Not you money, not your name. Not for you to change you mind and stay here with me... I just want... I want us for as long as it can last."
He was actually a bit stunned by her impromptu speech, as well as touched. "Alright. If you wish."
Forehead pressing against his, Lil let her eyes drift shut. "No, Brian. No more of these polite little phrases. I want to know what you think and like, want or don't want." She had no idea if she'd pushed too far or hard but it was a good place to start trying to practice 'better communication.' "Don't agree to something with an 'if' or based on what I say just to make me happy. Please."
Goodness, she was not going to make him start speaking more, was she? Brian felt he already spoke more than enough. "I would be happy to go on dates with you, Lil."
The tightness in her chest had nothing to do with fear or anger this time. Dates. Cupping both his cheeks, Lil coaxed him into a slow, burning series of kisses, full of something far beyond lust.
"Thank you," she whispered between them, pressing even closer as she remained in his lap. "I missed you, Bri." Two nights, angry and hurt and without him, had felt like two weeks.
Rather than speaking, Brian kissed her back, his arms banding around her waist. Finally, he offered, "Then let us get reacquainted."
Being a grown up sucked.
Being a grown up initiating a 'serious talk' and apology with her significant other sucked even more.
She'd given them time to cool down - thank goodness for weekends - but with Monday morning classes not too far away, Lil knew it was time to at least test the waters and see where they stood... so at the very least she could tell Jeanne-Marie if she'd be crashing in the speedster's bed again or not.
Unlocking the door, she poked her head into their room and seeing Brian at the desk, worked up a small, half smile. "Hey."
Brian glanced over at the door. Seeing Lil in the doorway, he set down his pencil atop his notebook. "Hello," he replied warily.
"Busy?" she asked as she shut the door behind her. While her stomach was full of nerves, she tried not to let it show. Lil wasn't slinking back with her tail between her legs - or so she told herself. Yes, the situation was handled incorrectly but that didn't mean she was the one who was in the wrong. At least, not the only one in the wrong.
He was still watching her cautiously. "I can spare a few moments, if you wish."
"It's gonna take more than a few moments, Bri," Lil warned him, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "We gotta talk."
"Alright." Brian turned his chair so that he was facing her.
Brushing her bangs from her eyes, Lil bought herself a few more moments to swallow down her fears. "I'm not here to fight, first off. I think we did enough of that the other day, so I'm gonna try to stay as civil as possible and hope you will too, okay?"
He thought he had been perfectly civil in their previous discussion as well, but Brian nodded nonetheless. "Okay."
"Okay," she echoed.
A slow breath in and out didn't stop her hands from fidgeting with the blankets. "I'm sorry I didn't handle things properly when you came home from the party."
"Thank you. I appreciate your apology," Brian said graciously.
"You're welcome." A tiny but sincere smile pulled at the edges of her lips as she looked at him expectantly.
It was clear that Lil was expecting him to say something. Brian was not certain what it was she wanted from him, however. He had done nothing wrong, and thus had nothing to apologize for. Still, he had been well schooled in how to issue an apology under such circumstances. "I am sorry you were upset."
A wave of anger lashed through her but she managed to hold it in check. "Bri... that ain't a real apology," Lil pointed out. "That's a cop-out apology where you don't take any responsibility."
She was absolutely correct, on that point, so Brian did not bother to dispute it with her. "Okay. Frankly, I do not believe I have done anything that merits an apology."
"You... seriously?" Lil asked, blanching at him. "You don't think... didn't you hear a single thing I said before?"
Brian's lips thinned. "I heard what you said before. But, as I indicated then, I do not understand why any of the events that have transpired have upset you so."
"Brian..." She bit down her initial response, forcing herself to keep calm. He really didn't understand? "Okay. Okay. I am upset because in the time we have been living together, a huge step in our relationship and one neither you nor I have ever attempted with another person, things have been going backwards. You said that when you told Betsy about us, it went perfectly well and that she was fine with it and yet, now, I'm not allowed to be in public with you and her because you don't want her to be uncomfortable."
Brian had heard all of that last night. But the fact remained, now as it had then, that this was not about Betsy's dislike of Lil. Elizabeth still hurt from her break-up with Warren Worthington III. His sister's discomfort did not stem from who his date was, but rather that he brought one at all. None of that was anyone's business but Betsy's, though, so he refrained from explanation. "As I said the other night. Elizabeth's objection had nothing to do with you."
"Then, tell me, Bri!" Hazel eyes met his, wide and imploring and not hiding the confusion and pain in them one bit. "Because that's what it feels like to me! I don't understand and it's hurting me, okay? I feels like I'm being punished for something I don't know I did, if I even did it! We moved in together and that part of our life shifted and not in the good way and I don't know why other than it's because of Betsy."
"Betsy," Brian said, voice hardening a touch at Lil's insinuation, "Did not tell me not to bring you. I was under the impression I was not to bring anyone."
"Well, excuse me if that's the first idea that pops into my head when you tell me you're going to a party you have a plus one to without me because you don't want me making your sister - who hates me - uncomfortable." She couldn't help but get a little defensive, not when he was getting his British up.
"I've explained what occurred again, and yet you are still angry at me?" He asked, sounding unimpressed.
"But you haven't explained." Lil protested. Hands tightened into fists in her lap but she continued to control her temper. "This isn't about the party, Bri! I'm not pissed because I didn't get to hang out with my friends and drink. I'm hurt and confused because you didn't want me with you after living together for two months and all I get is the same answer from you as to why over and over without it actually being explained."
Brian let out a slow breath through his nose. "As I have said. My decision not to bring you had naught to do with my desires. Nor was it because of some personal vendetta you insist my sister has against you. What more explanation is needed?
"How about what your decision not to bring me actually had to do with then? Why bring no one when you had a plus one from the host?"
"As I said. I believe Elizabeth preferred I bring no one, for her comfort," he said once again. This was going around in circles, and he was becoming rather frustrated.
Shaking her head slowly, Lil looked away. Defeat swelled in her chest; the icy hot kinda that felt like it would swallow her whole if she let it. Instead, she wiped her hands on her jeans then gestured to her dresser. "Fine then. I'll just grab a couple things and let you get back to whatever you were doing."
Brian's lips tipped downwards into a slight frown. "I do not understand why you are taking such personal affront to something that has nothing to do with my feelings or opinions towards you, or Elizabeth's opinions about you," he commented.
"Because you aren't talking to me about it, Brian. You're talking at me like... like I'm a child who can't know what's going on with the adults."
When she looked back at him, her eyes were sad and glassy. "It affects me and you won't even talk to me about it so what's the point? I made the step, Brian. I came in here to try and make things right and fix us and you're..." Lil shook her head again as her voice trailed off, lost and hurt.
"My sister's reasons are her own, and are personal. I've no permission nor obligation to share them with you," Brian pointed out. "I've told you as much as I can about why I took the actions I did. I've assured you as to the lack of menace in my or Elizabeth's intent.
"I am trying to make things right as well, but you refuse to trust or listen to me."
"Brian..." She put one hand against her head. "You never said that it was personal. You only ever told me it was because of Betsy and wouldn't go beyond that. Can you hear how that sounds and could be interpreted differently?"
Brian did not concede. "I thought I made it rather clear."
Lil shook her head again. "You didn't, Bri." A huff of a sigh was expelled through her lips. "We really need to work on our communication, huh? Botha us. I got a thick skull around a not-so-fast brain; sometimes you gotta be blunt, Bri. Even if you think you're being clear, I ain't always gonna think the same."
He was not entirely certain what 'work on our communication' entailed, but if it meant an end to the argument that did not violate his principles, he might agree to it. "I will endeavor to remember that, in the future."
"Me, too," she promised. A deep breaths filled the next few moments before Lil spoke again. "That was our first fight."
He thought about that observation for a moment. "I dislike quarreling with you," Brian pronounced.
"I don't like it, either." Sliding off the mattress, Lil moved to stand between his legs, arms resting over his shoulder. "We gotta talk better to each other if we don't wanna do it again. So, I'm sorry I made you frustrated and accused you of leaving me behind. It just really hurt to make this huge step with you and think we were in this good place then feel like it did when I got shot."
"Thank you for your apology. I apologize if I was unclear," he replied.
"Bri..." she said softly, lower lip sticking out in a slight pout.
"What?"
"No 'ifs,' please," Lil begged, chest tight and eyes sad.
Brian still did not believe he had been unclear. In fact, he had difficulty thinking of how he could have possibly been any more clear without betraying his sister's confidences. Still, he was uncertain it was on this particular hill he wished to make out a stand, of sorts.
"I am sorry I was unclear."
"Thank you."
It had cost him, she knew, to say the words; knew that his ego was bruised but it had been important to her. And necessary for them to move forward. Cupping his cheeks, Lil leaned forward to kiss him, sweet and long and full of gratitude.
He kissed her back for a moment, before breaking it to ask, "You will be returning to the room, then?" She'd been gone two days, after all.
Her smile bloomed, reaching to touch her eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm coming back, Bri," Lil promised and with another kiss, slid into his lap.
The union swelled, filled of lips and teeth and tongue, until it spun out, forcing them to pull back.
"Do you think," Lil started, nose brushing against the tip of his, fingers playing with the hair at the base of his skull as she continued to beam, "that maybe we can come up with an agreement? I'll skip all the big, high society galas and fundraisers but when it comes to the infrequent school things, including classmates parties, I can be your date? I miss going out with you, Bri."
"We may be able to reach an accord," Brian said. Though he knew he would need to consult with his sister.
"Mm. Good." Her mouth found his yet again though this time the kisses were brief. "And what about non-party stuff, Your Highness? What would you say if I propose some mandatory mutually entertaining social outings? Maybe two nights a month? No gym, no lab. Just me and you, getting outta here - or staying in, but doing something together. And with clothes on." She really had missed that aspect of their relationship since arriving home from Canada but mourning Alpha Flight was over. It was time to face the world again.
"Must they stay on the entire night?" Brian kissed her again. Perhaps not the most perfect of timing, but he had gone two days without, after all.
Lil laughed against his lips then shook her head. "No, they don't. Just the majority of whatever it is we chose to do." Movies, museums, activities - New York City was their back yard.
Nudging his nose with her own, she turned a bit more serious. "We got what? Six, seven months left together? I wanna continue what we started, Bri. I wanna keep giving each other that place, that safety to be nothing but ourselves. To be silly and crazy and free with each other. I want more... moments. Like the skinny-dipping and our first time. Like the masquerade party when you showed me how devious you could be. Like when you took me to the ocean for the first time or when we woke up together on Christmas or when you took me flying and we watched the sunrise..."
She swallowed hard but forced herself to continue. "I ain't asking for anything else, Bri. Not you money, not your name. Not for you to change you mind and stay here with me... I just want... I want us for as long as it can last."
He was actually a bit stunned by her impromptu speech, as well as touched. "Alright. If you wish."
Forehead pressing against his, Lil let her eyes drift shut. "No, Brian. No more of these polite little phrases. I want to know what you think and like, want or don't want." She had no idea if she'd pushed too far or hard but it was a good place to start trying to practice 'better communication.' "Don't agree to something with an 'if' or based on what I say just to make me happy. Please."
Goodness, she was not going to make him start speaking more, was she? Brian felt he already spoke more than enough. "I would be happy to go on dates with you, Lil."
The tightness in her chest had nothing to do with fear or anger this time. Dates. Cupping both his cheeks, Lil coaxed him into a slow, burning series of kisses, full of something far beyond lust.
"Thank you," she whispered between them, pressing even closer as she remained in his lap. "I missed you, Bri." Two nights, angry and hurt and without him, had felt like two weeks.
Rather than speaking, Brian kissed her back, his arms banding around her waist. Finally, he offered, "Then let us get reacquainted."
