Jensen and Simon, backdated to 4/29/2014
Apr. 29th, 2014 07:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
om_backlash posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
om_mainJensen goes to Simon to tell him about Tessa spying on students and to ask for his help.
Jensen closed the door to his and Shaun’s room and started toward Simon’s. He’d meant to do this sooner, but apparently when it rained it really did fucking pour. He still wasn’t sure Tessa’s ‘project’ was exactly what Simon had in mind when he said they needed to do something if anything else came up, but it was something. It had been important enough for her to blackmail him into silence anyway.
That blackmail didn’t hold much weight anymore. Jensen was eighteen, a legal adult, and unless he wanted to press charges against his father there wasn’t much Tessa could do. Which meant his sister was safe. No one would be taking her away and dumping her in foster care. And the one other thing he’d been afraid of had already happened. He’d been kicked out and it’d be years before he saw his sister again. So, what was there to be afraid of? There was very little left someone could threaten to take away from him. Besides, he was fucking done with being bullied around.
Reaching the door, Jensen knocked and then waited.
"Come in!" Simon called out from within the room, after briefly frowning in surprise at the knock itself. He wasn't expecting anyone, and Nathan was out, so presumably neither was he. People rarely stopped by their room, or when they did, they didn't bother knocking. He was standing up from his desk chair as the door opened to reveal Jensen, and Simon smiled over at him, small and brief, hoping that it was not bad news that brought his friend over. "Hi. Come in," he repeated, this time more warmly and personally. Jensen was always welcome.
“Hey, man,” Jensen greeted, closing the door behind himself. He crossed the room and pulled Nathan’s computer chair out with a gesture of his hand, dropping himself down into it. “How’s it going?” It felt a little weird to be doing pleasantries when he’d come here for an important reason, but not doing pleasantries seemed weird too, so whatever. He just went with the one that was probably the less rude option.
"Well," Simon replied with a small smile, but the spark in his eyes said that it was in fact going particularly well. There was an open envelope on his desk, and his letter of acceptance from the film school he had been aiming for. "Really well. I got in," he stated, unable to hide his smile any longer. He really hoped that it wasn't bad news that brought Jensen over.
Jensen immediately knew what Simon was talking about. “That’s awesome, dude!” he said enthusiastically, his grin huge. He clapped Simon on the shoulder warmly. “Congrats! I knew you would. They’d have to be fucking idiots not to accept you. We’ll totally have to go out and celebrate or something.”
"Thanks," Simon said, still smiling, blue eyes shining happily. "Celebratory freerunning this weekend?" he offered. Maybe something in the city for once.
Jensen grinned. He should have known that’s what Simon would pick. Most people would want to go out, for dinner or dancing or to get wasted, but Simon picked freerunning. “Sure--Of course, anything you want, dude,” he told him. “I’ll check in with Shaun. I bet he’ll want to come too.”
Simon smiled and nodded. "Definitely the three of us." It wouldn't have been right otherwise. This settled, he sat back down on his desk chair, facing Jensen. "What's up with you?" He wasn't sure whether Jensen had just come here to hang out, or if he wanted to talk about something in particular, but either way, the question stood.
“Oh, you know, nothing that hasn’t already been plastered across the news,” Jensen joked with a kind of wry humor. “Same old, same old.”
Jensen paused, only briefly, and then just got right into it, “What would you say if I told you someone was monitoring our computers? Everything we did. Every Google search, every email, every saved file… Everything.”
The second option it was; Jensen had come to talk about something in particular. Something that made Simon frown immediately, and leaned forward in his chair, elbows on his thighs. "Do you know who?"
The seriousness with which Simon took news made Jensen even surer about his decision to tell him. He nodded, “Tessa. She might not be working alone, but she’s definitely involved.”
Tessa. Sage. That was a lot less worse than what Simon had immediately imagined - or at least, he hoped so. "She's monitoring us," he realised out loud, for all that Jensen must have already reached the same conclusion. "Have you talked to anyone about it?" The headmasters, or herself.
“Just Shaun.” Jensen hesitated. He hadn’t wanted the conversation to end up here, but he’d known from the start that it would, that it was unavoidable. “She blackmailed me,” he said bluntly, getting the words out fast so he could be fucking rid of them. “I couldn’t say anything.”
Jensen waved a hand, “I know she’s doing it for good reasons. I know she probably means well. But, that doesn’t make it any less of an invasion of privacy.”
Simon wanted to ask. He did. It was Jensen; he cared. But it had been blackmail; it probably wasn't something he wanted to tell anyone. "She blackmailed you into not saying anything?" Simon checked, because Jensen's words had been ambiguous.
“No, she blackmailed me into giving her my lunch money,” Jensen dryly replied. “Yeah, she blackmailed me into not saying anything. She knew stuff, had proof, and if I said anything she’d show it to people I didn’t want it shown to.”
"What changed?" Simon asked, before he could help himself. Now Jensen was telling him, but why?
Jensen shrugged and sat back in his seat, “It doesn’t have any weight anymore. Things changed and now she can’t do anything.”
Simon nodded acknowledgement, not going to push for more. Weight or not, if Jensen wanted to tell him, he would. But it brought about one more question. "Are you going to tell more people?"
“That she blackmailed me? Or that she’s a one woman Big Brother show?” The first was probably inevitable if he did the second. Jensen had gone into this knowing that. It wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, but telling people what Tessa was up to had to be done. “I’m telling you because you said you wanted to do something about the things no one else was.”
"I want to help people," Simon confirmed with a frown. The problem was that he was sure that that was what she wanted, as well. To keep the school safe. But her methods... "What do you think we should do about it?" Simon's only plan of action, for now, was to go and talk to Tessa.
Jensen shrugged, “Apart from blowing her cover I don’t really have any ideas.” That was another reason why he was here. He’d hoped Simon might have an idea on what to do. “I already talked to her about it. That’s what got me blackmailed in the first place.”
"I'd like to talk to her, first," Simon told his friend, hoping that Jensen would not mind. It was his decision, after all, and not Simon. He would not stand in Jensen's way if he wanted to blow her cover right away.
“Fine,” Jensen said with a shrug like he didn’t care. In reality, he did. He didn’t like the decision. She was spying on students, she’d fucking blackmailed him for it, and it was just gonna end up being okay? For once, he wanted someone who’d fucked him over to face some fucking consequences. But, he knew he was being unreasonable and he’d just have to deal with it.
'Fine' wasn't an 'OK'. Fine was an 'if you insist', or at least the way Jensen had said it. Simon frowned. "What she did was not right. But... she's always seemed to care about protecting the school. I don't think that she should blackmail anyone, and I won't stand in your way if you want to tell people what she did. I'll be there. But I want to hear her out." The world was sadly not black and white.
“I said fine, dude.” Jensen stood up from the computer chair. He didn’t know what Tessa could say that would make digging into people’s privacy okay. And he didn’t know how anyone could be okay with it because it wasn’t an okay thing to do, even if she meant well. But that was Simon’s call. “If you want to go talk to her, go talk to her. That’s up to you. I’ve been there and done that, so I’m all set. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t like it, but you have to do what you have to do.”
Simon remained on his chair, watching Jensen with conflicted emotions. He felt as if he were disappointing his friend, but he could only do what he thought was right. "I'm sorry."
“You don’t have to apologize. I said it’s fine.” Yeah, Jensen was upset. He was upset and he was angry. He’d thought this time someone would do something, but instead, somehow, he felt like he was the one in the wrong. Again. But, he wouldn’t ask Simon to not do something he thought was right and he didn’t blame him either. “Talk to her. But, I can’t promise I won’t do something about it if you don’t. I kept my mouth shut once and hated myself for it. I’m not gonna do it again.”
"Like I said," Simon told him again. "If you want to tell people, tell everyone, I'll be by your side." Even if he didn't think that it was the right move, but hopefully, they would end up seeing eye to eye. But Simon did not have enough information yet to know what the right move might be.
“And I appreciate that,” Jensen replied. “But I’m not going to ask you to out what she’s doing if you agree with it. I don’t feel right about that.”
"I wouldn't," Simon assured him. "But I'd stand by your side as you did." It might seem like a bit of a fine distinction, but to him, supporting his friend as he did what he thought was right would be the right thing. He was fairly certain that he could not fault Jensen for outing her, no matter what she ended up telling Simon. At best, this was a grey area.
Jensen nodded. “Alright,” he said, not sure what else to say. “Thanks.”
Simon frowned, glancing down at his hands briefly, before he looked back up at Jensen, and then stood, to be on the same level as him. "I'm sorry." He hated feeling as if he had disappointed Jensen.
Jensen shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “It’s fine,” he assured again. He wasn’t sure what else Simon wanted him to say. “I don’t know what you’re apologizing for, dude. You’re doing what you feel like you have to.”
"I wish that didn't involve letting you down." He truly did, but that did not mean that Simon would turn his back on what he thought was right.
Jensen rubbed the back of his neck and then shrugged helplessly, “You can’t make everyone happy. It sucks, but that’s the way it is.” Yeah, he’d expected Simon to say something else and he was disappointed, but he understood and that was at least something wasn’t it?
Simon shrugged awkwardly, forcing himself to hold Jensen's gaze, no matter how much he wanted to look down, away, drop his gaze and tell him that no, he was right, they should tell everyone. It was what he would have done, a year ago. A year ago, he would have been too desperate for approval to stand by his beliefs. Today... he hoped that he was not losing a friend. "I'll let you know, as soon as I talk to her," he added sheepishly.
“Alright,” Jensen answered, nodding. “You know where to find me.” He’d waited this long to say anything about Tessa, he could wait a little longer.
Jensen closed the door to his and Shaun’s room and started toward Simon’s. He’d meant to do this sooner, but apparently when it rained it really did fucking pour. He still wasn’t sure Tessa’s ‘project’ was exactly what Simon had in mind when he said they needed to do something if anything else came up, but it was something. It had been important enough for her to blackmail him into silence anyway.
That blackmail didn’t hold much weight anymore. Jensen was eighteen, a legal adult, and unless he wanted to press charges against his father there wasn’t much Tessa could do. Which meant his sister was safe. No one would be taking her away and dumping her in foster care. And the one other thing he’d been afraid of had already happened. He’d been kicked out and it’d be years before he saw his sister again. So, what was there to be afraid of? There was very little left someone could threaten to take away from him. Besides, he was fucking done with being bullied around.
Reaching the door, Jensen knocked and then waited.
"Come in!" Simon called out from within the room, after briefly frowning in surprise at the knock itself. He wasn't expecting anyone, and Nathan was out, so presumably neither was he. People rarely stopped by their room, or when they did, they didn't bother knocking. He was standing up from his desk chair as the door opened to reveal Jensen, and Simon smiled over at him, small and brief, hoping that it was not bad news that brought his friend over. "Hi. Come in," he repeated, this time more warmly and personally. Jensen was always welcome.
“Hey, man,” Jensen greeted, closing the door behind himself. He crossed the room and pulled Nathan’s computer chair out with a gesture of his hand, dropping himself down into it. “How’s it going?” It felt a little weird to be doing pleasantries when he’d come here for an important reason, but not doing pleasantries seemed weird too, so whatever. He just went with the one that was probably the less rude option.
"Well," Simon replied with a small smile, but the spark in his eyes said that it was in fact going particularly well. There was an open envelope on his desk, and his letter of acceptance from the film school he had been aiming for. "Really well. I got in," he stated, unable to hide his smile any longer. He really hoped that it wasn't bad news that brought Jensen over.
Jensen immediately knew what Simon was talking about. “That’s awesome, dude!” he said enthusiastically, his grin huge. He clapped Simon on the shoulder warmly. “Congrats! I knew you would. They’d have to be fucking idiots not to accept you. We’ll totally have to go out and celebrate or something.”
"Thanks," Simon said, still smiling, blue eyes shining happily. "Celebratory freerunning this weekend?" he offered. Maybe something in the city for once.
Jensen grinned. He should have known that’s what Simon would pick. Most people would want to go out, for dinner or dancing or to get wasted, but Simon picked freerunning. “Sure--Of course, anything you want, dude,” he told him. “I’ll check in with Shaun. I bet he’ll want to come too.”
Simon smiled and nodded. "Definitely the three of us." It wouldn't have been right otherwise. This settled, he sat back down on his desk chair, facing Jensen. "What's up with you?" He wasn't sure whether Jensen had just come here to hang out, or if he wanted to talk about something in particular, but either way, the question stood.
“Oh, you know, nothing that hasn’t already been plastered across the news,” Jensen joked with a kind of wry humor. “Same old, same old.”
Jensen paused, only briefly, and then just got right into it, “What would you say if I told you someone was monitoring our computers? Everything we did. Every Google search, every email, every saved file… Everything.”
The second option it was; Jensen had come to talk about something in particular. Something that made Simon frown immediately, and leaned forward in his chair, elbows on his thighs. "Do you know who?"
The seriousness with which Simon took news made Jensen even surer about his decision to tell him. He nodded, “Tessa. She might not be working alone, but she’s definitely involved.”
Tessa. Sage. That was a lot less worse than what Simon had immediately imagined - or at least, he hoped so. "She's monitoring us," he realised out loud, for all that Jensen must have already reached the same conclusion. "Have you talked to anyone about it?" The headmasters, or herself.
“Just Shaun.” Jensen hesitated. He hadn’t wanted the conversation to end up here, but he’d known from the start that it would, that it was unavoidable. “She blackmailed me,” he said bluntly, getting the words out fast so he could be fucking rid of them. “I couldn’t say anything.”
Jensen waved a hand, “I know she’s doing it for good reasons. I know she probably means well. But, that doesn’t make it any less of an invasion of privacy.”
Simon wanted to ask. He did. It was Jensen; he cared. But it had been blackmail; it probably wasn't something he wanted to tell anyone. "She blackmailed you into not saying anything?" Simon checked, because Jensen's words had been ambiguous.
“No, she blackmailed me into giving her my lunch money,” Jensen dryly replied. “Yeah, she blackmailed me into not saying anything. She knew stuff, had proof, and if I said anything she’d show it to people I didn’t want it shown to.”
"What changed?" Simon asked, before he could help himself. Now Jensen was telling him, but why?
Jensen shrugged and sat back in his seat, “It doesn’t have any weight anymore. Things changed and now she can’t do anything.”
Simon nodded acknowledgement, not going to push for more. Weight or not, if Jensen wanted to tell him, he would. But it brought about one more question. "Are you going to tell more people?"
“That she blackmailed me? Or that she’s a one woman Big Brother show?” The first was probably inevitable if he did the second. Jensen had gone into this knowing that. It wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, but telling people what Tessa was up to had to be done. “I’m telling you because you said you wanted to do something about the things no one else was.”
"I want to help people," Simon confirmed with a frown. The problem was that he was sure that that was what she wanted, as well. To keep the school safe. But her methods... "What do you think we should do about it?" Simon's only plan of action, for now, was to go and talk to Tessa.
Jensen shrugged, “Apart from blowing her cover I don’t really have any ideas.” That was another reason why he was here. He’d hoped Simon might have an idea on what to do. “I already talked to her about it. That’s what got me blackmailed in the first place.”
"I'd like to talk to her, first," Simon told his friend, hoping that Jensen would not mind. It was his decision, after all, and not Simon. He would not stand in Jensen's way if he wanted to blow her cover right away.
“Fine,” Jensen said with a shrug like he didn’t care. In reality, he did. He didn’t like the decision. She was spying on students, she’d fucking blackmailed him for it, and it was just gonna end up being okay? For once, he wanted someone who’d fucked him over to face some fucking consequences. But, he knew he was being unreasonable and he’d just have to deal with it.
'Fine' wasn't an 'OK'. Fine was an 'if you insist', or at least the way Jensen had said it. Simon frowned. "What she did was not right. But... she's always seemed to care about protecting the school. I don't think that she should blackmail anyone, and I won't stand in your way if you want to tell people what she did. I'll be there. But I want to hear her out." The world was sadly not black and white.
“I said fine, dude.” Jensen stood up from the computer chair. He didn’t know what Tessa could say that would make digging into people’s privacy okay. And he didn’t know how anyone could be okay with it because it wasn’t an okay thing to do, even if she meant well. But that was Simon’s call. “If you want to go talk to her, go talk to her. That’s up to you. I’ve been there and done that, so I’m all set. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t like it, but you have to do what you have to do.”
Simon remained on his chair, watching Jensen with conflicted emotions. He felt as if he were disappointing his friend, but he could only do what he thought was right. "I'm sorry."
“You don’t have to apologize. I said it’s fine.” Yeah, Jensen was upset. He was upset and he was angry. He’d thought this time someone would do something, but instead, somehow, he felt like he was the one in the wrong. Again. But, he wouldn’t ask Simon to not do something he thought was right and he didn’t blame him either. “Talk to her. But, I can’t promise I won’t do something about it if you don’t. I kept my mouth shut once and hated myself for it. I’m not gonna do it again.”
"Like I said," Simon told him again. "If you want to tell people, tell everyone, I'll be by your side." Even if he didn't think that it was the right move, but hopefully, they would end up seeing eye to eye. But Simon did not have enough information yet to know what the right move might be.
“And I appreciate that,” Jensen replied. “But I’m not going to ask you to out what she’s doing if you agree with it. I don’t feel right about that.”
"I wouldn't," Simon assured him. "But I'd stand by your side as you did." It might seem like a bit of a fine distinction, but to him, supporting his friend as he did what he thought was right would be the right thing. He was fairly certain that he could not fault Jensen for outing her, no matter what she ended up telling Simon. At best, this was a grey area.
Jensen nodded. “Alright,” he said, not sure what else to say. “Thanks.”
Simon frowned, glancing down at his hands briefly, before he looked back up at Jensen, and then stood, to be on the same level as him. "I'm sorry." He hated feeling as if he had disappointed Jensen.
Jensen shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “It’s fine,” he assured again. He wasn’t sure what else Simon wanted him to say. “I don’t know what you’re apologizing for, dude. You’re doing what you feel like you have to.”
"I wish that didn't involve letting you down." He truly did, but that did not mean that Simon would turn his back on what he thought was right.
Jensen rubbed the back of his neck and then shrugged helplessly, “You can’t make everyone happy. It sucks, but that’s the way it is.” Yeah, he’d expected Simon to say something else and he was disappointed, but he understood and that was at least something wasn’t it?
Simon shrugged awkwardly, forcing himself to hold Jensen's gaze, no matter how much he wanted to look down, away, drop his gaze and tell him that no, he was right, they should tell everyone. It was what he would have done, a year ago. A year ago, he would have been too desperate for approval to stand by his beliefs. Today... he hoped that he was not losing a friend. "I'll let you know, as soon as I talk to her," he added sheepishly.
“Alright,” Jensen answered, nodding. “You know where to find me.” He’d waited this long to say anything about Tessa, he could wait a little longer.
