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om_mainRiver wakes up and panics. Simon is there. Warnings for the usual.
River woke up with a scream, sitting straight up in her bed. Not her bed - not her mattress - drip, drip, and she pulled the needle out of her arm. Her breathing was loud to her own ears and she scrambled off the bed, towards the corner of the room, trying to make herself smaller, but it never worked, they always saw her.
A second later, the door swung open, Simon taking three running steps into the room before his gaze swung in a wide arc from the bed to the corner where River had curled herself up. "River," he breathed.
Dark circles underlined his eyes, but he'd changed clothes since the night before, mostly at Moira's behest, after she'd seen the blood staining them. He was dressed in a pair of the infirmary's dark blue scrubs, having never even bothered to go back to his room. Not with both River and Jean-Paul in the infirmary. That didn't even begin to touch on the state Josh was in, or what they'd done with Laura. He'd known he would never be able to sleep, let alone think about anything other than helping the doctor.
"River," he repeated, a little more softly, as he saw her trembling. He held out a hand as he took a step forward. "River, it's me. Simon."
It took her a few seconds to focus on him, eyes wide, and her breath hitched, paused, and came out with, "Simon?" She didn't know if the tears were hers, but they blurred her sight all the same. "S-simon," she managed again, as they spilled down her cheeks. "They talk to me. They want me - they want me to talk. I'm sorry. I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry..."
The next second, he was on the floor with her, his arms sliding around her. Not too tight, but as close as he possibly could without smothering or panicking her. This was a completely different person than he'd seen at The Facility, but she was no less his sister. In fact, she was probably more his sister like this, and there was both relief and sheer nausea there, as he realized how terrified she was.
"Shh, shh. It's okay. Hey, it's okay. You're safe. They're not here. They're not going to hurt you." Ever again.
"I tried not to - I don't think I said," she told him, fingers twisting in the sleeves of his shirt, but she wasn't sure, there was so much going on. "They wanted me to - Laura told me to dance. I did my best, please."
"River, no one, no one is blaming you for anything. Even if you told them something, it's okay. We'll handle it. We'll handle them. I'm not going to let them hurt you again," Simon vowed, though his voice was soft and soothing still. He'd been working on that, too - letting his emotions get in the way. He knew that he couldn't do that anymore. Not as a doctor, and definitely not with River. Not with her empathy. Even as upset as he might be, rationally, he'd trained his emotions back into a small little box, letting only the love he had for her leak out.
"How did I get out?" River asked, frowning, wishing the memories would claw their way out of her mind, playing hide and seek, how could she? How could she. "Am I? Is this - you feel real. Do I?"
"I'm real. I promise, River," Simon assured her, lips pressing into her hair briefly. "We got you out. Professor Xavier found you. He sent us. You're at the school; just the school's infirmary. No one's going to hurt you."
River looked around, cautiously, and then back at Simon. "I don't like it here."
Simon pulled back slowly, letting her look around. Her actions, her mood swings...all of it pointed to what he'd briefly felt in her back in The Facility, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions yet. "By here...do you mean Xavier's?"
River made a face at him, the first hint of herself, really herself, he had seen since he had found her in her cell - room - treacherous mattress. "Too much white. The smell. I can't. Please don't touch me." She didn't want to feel it the way he did, couldn't feel it again, cut into her brain and left her bleeding out the edges of herself, everything else bleeding in.
He flinched inwardly at the request, even though he understood it. He pulled away, crouching in front of her. "The infirmary? Look, Dr. MacTaggart just needs to check you out, then I promise, we'll get you someplace more comfortable."
River's face crumpled again, and she shook her head. "If you touch me, can we go? They're looking at me, Simon, they're always. Looking at me."
Simon frowned. "Who is looking at you?"
"Hands of blue," she answered, in a whisper, having difficulty looking at him in the eye as she did.
"I...I don't..." Simon started, unsure exactly what she was trying to say.
"You don't," River agreed, grimacing in pain and sorrow. "You can't, promise me you won't, Simon."
He stared at her, baffled. "Promise you I won't...what? River, I don't know what you're saying."
"Promise me!" she insisted, her voice stronger for her desperation, tears welling up in her eyes and threatening to spill over.
"Okay, okay," he answered quickly and softly. "I promise. I swear I won't."
"Okay," River echoed, but she was frowning as she tried to calm down. Okay wasn't right. Had okay ever been right? "Can we go now?"
"Will you let me scan you and get permission from Dr. MacTaggart?" Simon asked gently.
"I don't wanna see her," River said immediately, and quickly. "Just you."
"Okay, okay," Simon agreed, "But I still have to let her know you're okay," even if she wasn't "and tell her what we're doing. They've got a room ready for you, alright? But we can't leave until I let her know what's going on. I can scan you, and go talk to her, and then be right back."
After a beat, River nodded slowly, and reached out to take Simon's clothed forearm, and bring his hand to cup her face, trying to steel herself against it. All of it. All of her.
Simon closed his eyes when they touched, mostly to help him tamp down any emotion he might feel when he got a better look at her. And there it was...the incision, the tampering with her frontal-lobe. There were bruises too, but nothing alarming. She seemed healthy, strong, muscles having been regularly in use. She had no illnesses and the only drugs in her system now were those he himself had put there. The lobotomy was the startling, terrifying part, but he at least attempted to keep his thoughts and feelings on the matter as tame as possible.
River turned her face against his hand and forced herself to stay there, but she was shaking by the time he pulled back, shaking and crying. "I'm all wrong now," she managed to say, between her tears. "They said they would make me my best."
His heart twisted, and Simon wrapped his arms around her, careful not to let their skin touch, just holding her. "No, mei-mei. It's alright. We'll make it better. I'll find a way to make it right, okay? We just need some time."
River curled up in his arms, fingers coming to rest over his heart as she let the tears fall. She couldn't tell things apart, so much was going through her, and the walls were closing in on her, too much white. "Please, take me away," she whispered to him in Mandarin.
Simon closed his eyes, but nodded, lifting her up in his arms. He would tell Moira later. Or call her. Pulling River's small frame up against him, he carried her from the room and turned the corner through the doors of the infirmary. "It's okay," he whispered into her hair as he walked toward the lift. "It's going to be okay."
River woke up with a scream, sitting straight up in her bed. Not her bed - not her mattress - drip, drip, and she pulled the needle out of her arm. Her breathing was loud to her own ears and she scrambled off the bed, towards the corner of the room, trying to make herself smaller, but it never worked, they always saw her.
A second later, the door swung open, Simon taking three running steps into the room before his gaze swung in a wide arc from the bed to the corner where River had curled herself up. "River," he breathed.
Dark circles underlined his eyes, but he'd changed clothes since the night before, mostly at Moira's behest, after she'd seen the blood staining them. He was dressed in a pair of the infirmary's dark blue scrubs, having never even bothered to go back to his room. Not with both River and Jean-Paul in the infirmary. That didn't even begin to touch on the state Josh was in, or what they'd done with Laura. He'd known he would never be able to sleep, let alone think about anything other than helping the doctor.
"River," he repeated, a little more softly, as he saw her trembling. He held out a hand as he took a step forward. "River, it's me. Simon."
It took her a few seconds to focus on him, eyes wide, and her breath hitched, paused, and came out with, "Simon?" She didn't know if the tears were hers, but they blurred her sight all the same. "S-simon," she managed again, as they spilled down her cheeks. "They talk to me. They want me - they want me to talk. I'm sorry. I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry..."
The next second, he was on the floor with her, his arms sliding around her. Not too tight, but as close as he possibly could without smothering or panicking her. This was a completely different person than he'd seen at The Facility, but she was no less his sister. In fact, she was probably more his sister like this, and there was both relief and sheer nausea there, as he realized how terrified she was.
"Shh, shh. It's okay. Hey, it's okay. You're safe. They're not here. They're not going to hurt you." Ever again.
"I tried not to - I don't think I said," she told him, fingers twisting in the sleeves of his shirt, but she wasn't sure, there was so much going on. "They wanted me to - Laura told me to dance. I did my best, please."
"River, no one, no one is blaming you for anything. Even if you told them something, it's okay. We'll handle it. We'll handle them. I'm not going to let them hurt you again," Simon vowed, though his voice was soft and soothing still. He'd been working on that, too - letting his emotions get in the way. He knew that he couldn't do that anymore. Not as a doctor, and definitely not with River. Not with her empathy. Even as upset as he might be, rationally, he'd trained his emotions back into a small little box, letting only the love he had for her leak out.
"How did I get out?" River asked, frowning, wishing the memories would claw their way out of her mind, playing hide and seek, how could she? How could she. "Am I? Is this - you feel real. Do I?"
"I'm real. I promise, River," Simon assured her, lips pressing into her hair briefly. "We got you out. Professor Xavier found you. He sent us. You're at the school; just the school's infirmary. No one's going to hurt you."
River looked around, cautiously, and then back at Simon. "I don't like it here."
Simon pulled back slowly, letting her look around. Her actions, her mood swings...all of it pointed to what he'd briefly felt in her back in The Facility, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions yet. "By here...do you mean Xavier's?"
River made a face at him, the first hint of herself, really herself, he had seen since he had found her in her cell - room - treacherous mattress. "Too much white. The smell. I can't. Please don't touch me." She didn't want to feel it the way he did, couldn't feel it again, cut into her brain and left her bleeding out the edges of herself, everything else bleeding in.
He flinched inwardly at the request, even though he understood it. He pulled away, crouching in front of her. "The infirmary? Look, Dr. MacTaggart just needs to check you out, then I promise, we'll get you someplace more comfortable."
River's face crumpled again, and she shook her head. "If you touch me, can we go? They're looking at me, Simon, they're always. Looking at me."
Simon frowned. "Who is looking at you?"
"Hands of blue," she answered, in a whisper, having difficulty looking at him in the eye as she did.
"I...I don't..." Simon started, unsure exactly what she was trying to say.
"You don't," River agreed, grimacing in pain and sorrow. "You can't, promise me you won't, Simon."
He stared at her, baffled. "Promise you I won't...what? River, I don't know what you're saying."
"Promise me!" she insisted, her voice stronger for her desperation, tears welling up in her eyes and threatening to spill over.
"Okay, okay," he answered quickly and softly. "I promise. I swear I won't."
"Okay," River echoed, but she was frowning as she tried to calm down. Okay wasn't right. Had okay ever been right? "Can we go now?"
"Will you let me scan you and get permission from Dr. MacTaggart?" Simon asked gently.
"I don't wanna see her," River said immediately, and quickly. "Just you."
"Okay, okay," Simon agreed, "But I still have to let her know you're okay," even if she wasn't "and tell her what we're doing. They've got a room ready for you, alright? But we can't leave until I let her know what's going on. I can scan you, and go talk to her, and then be right back."
After a beat, River nodded slowly, and reached out to take Simon's clothed forearm, and bring his hand to cup her face, trying to steel herself against it. All of it. All of her.
Simon closed his eyes when they touched, mostly to help him tamp down any emotion he might feel when he got a better look at her. And there it was...the incision, the tampering with her frontal-lobe. There were bruises too, but nothing alarming. She seemed healthy, strong, muscles having been regularly in use. She had no illnesses and the only drugs in her system now were those he himself had put there. The lobotomy was the startling, terrifying part, but he at least attempted to keep his thoughts and feelings on the matter as tame as possible.
River turned her face against his hand and forced herself to stay there, but she was shaking by the time he pulled back, shaking and crying. "I'm all wrong now," she managed to say, between her tears. "They said they would make me my best."
His heart twisted, and Simon wrapped his arms around her, careful not to let their skin touch, just holding her. "No, mei-mei. It's alright. We'll make it better. I'll find a way to make it right, okay? We just need some time."
River curled up in his arms, fingers coming to rest over his heart as she let the tears fall. She couldn't tell things apart, so much was going through her, and the walls were closing in on her, too much white. "Please, take me away," she whispered to him in Mandarin.
Simon closed his eyes, but nodded, lifting her up in his arms. He would tell Moira later. Or call her. Pulling River's small frame up against him, he carried her from the room and turned the corner through the doors of the infirmary. "It's okay," he whispered into her hair as he walked toward the lift. "It's going to be okay."
