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Simon and Paige catch up in the library, and it goes spectacularly...wrong. Warnings for all the teenage awkward in the world.

Simon hadn't spent much time at all in the library lately - mostly because he'd been busy, either working in the lab with Moira, or on tournament trips with Jean-Paul. Still, it remained one of the few places where he could avoid the distraction that was his roommate, and the respectful silence there had been just what he needed to finish up the last of his paper on tolerant lymphocytes for his immunology class.

While Paige had been spending as much time in the library as she always had, the location had a different atmosphere to her now than it had just a few weeks before. It was still quiet and filled to the brim with invaluable resources, but it was also the first place that Shinobi would come to look for her and she found that she now often half-expected his interruptions. Sometimes, she even waited for them. Perhaps that was why she was so surprised when she stepped out of the stacks (arms piled four volumes high with chemistry books) and saw Simon Tam instead, seated at one of the empty tables. "Simon!" She blurted his name without thinking and produced a somewhat sheepish smile, looking genuinely happy to see him but also like she'd been caught at something she wouldn't want him to see.

Unable to fidget with her hair, she tossed her head back in an attempt to get the stray strands out of her face and added quickly, "I was startin' to wonder if you'd found another library."

He blinked up at her, then cracked a small smile at the sight of her, trying to ignore the tumble in his stomach as he did so. "Yeah. I've had to cover most of my material on the Internet recently, so I guess you could say that you were right."

The look that Paige gave him was one of feigned indignity and she hefted her books up in her arms. "Simon Tam, I'm surprised at you," she responded, failing to seem even partially sincere as she scolded him, "The Internet is a supplemental resource, not a replacement for the library." Giving up on the pretense she couldn't maintain, she placed the stack on the edge of his table and exhaled and smiled, the expression still somewhat hesitant but happy. It was good to see him. "You've been busy too." She pushed her glasses up on the bridge of her nose, thinking about what she'd heard about why that was and about how little of it she actually knew to be true. Not that it was any of her business. "Right?"

Simon shrugged a little, and managed not to blush. "Moira's been allowing me to intern more with her research, and I'm spending a lot of time looking into mutant genetics. Plus, there are Jean-Paul's tournaments, which will be ending soon."

Paige nodded, considering this and figuring that all of that would keep a guy plenty busy. But there did seem to be something that he was leaving unsaid too. "Is that why you guys weren't at the Valentine's dance?" she asked instead of pressing the point, "I guess, after the Halloween dance, I was surprised not to see either of you."

His mouth opened, then closed, as he realized that she'd figured it out. He wasn't sure how he wanted to feel about that, especially since he knew that his color had increased a bit. For all that he wanted to be with Jean-Paul, he'd had a crush on Paige since the moment he'd met her. He swallowed against a throat just a bit too dry, then sat back in his chair. "We're..."

Simon knew he could do it. If he could say it to Paige, then he could say it to anyone. And then, at least at Xavier's, maybe Jean-Paul would stop looking like a kicked puppy every time he suggested they hide themselves away in their room. He swallowed again. "Jean-Paul and I spent Valentine's together."

Paige hadn't figured it out, not with concrete certainty, until she saw the color dawning in his cheeks. Then he said it and the simultaneous feeling of ache and relief caught her off guard. Her own face reddened faintly, cheeks getting hot and blue eyes flickering down to the table and the textbooks before returning to Simon. The nice, handsome boy that made her feel like she needed a permanent dunce cap. The idea of him being with someone, Jean-Paul or anyone, made her heart hurt and ended the last of her silly fantasies about him. But it also made her think about Shinobi again.

Finally remembering that it was her turn to talk, she pressed her hands down on the stack of books, fidgeted momentarily, and smiled. "That's...sweet," she said finally, her voice quiet. The hurt was close to the surface, but she wasn't upset and the expression wasn't entirely dishonest either. Just complicated.

Simon's stomach dropped a few inches as he watched the emotions play across her face. The fidgeting didn't help either. It was what he had been afraid of.

"It's because he's a guy, isn't it?" he murmured. "Listen, I know it's different, and it's not like it's always guys. I like girls too. It's just that Jean-Paul is...Jean-Paul, and the whole thing kind of smacked me over the head before I really knew what was happening."

Because he's a guy. Paige's hands stopped fidgeting and the mess of emotion on her face gave way to clear, startled surprise. Isn't it? The blonde looked at Simon, then shook her head in response. "Stupid," she said softly, because he was if that was what he thought (no matter what his IQ was), "It's because it's you." She let the words sit there for a few miserable seconds while her cheeks went from pink to red, then pushed herself to look him in the eyes. "But you don't need to feel bad on my account."

Then, maybe for her sake more than his, as if the fact was a shield, she added, "I was with someone too. On Valentine's Day."

Simon just stared at her.

For a moment, he wasn't entirely sure what was going on, until he realized that he was rather cemented in between two very different mountain ranges of emotions. On the one side, surprise, embarrassment, and giddiness. On the other? Shame, regret, and jealousy. And then, of course, more shame. He couldn't even speak, he was so solidly bound between so many things he couldn't even define, much less express verbally.

The words no longer felt like a shield, not with that expression on Simon's face. Instead, each one felt petty and stupid and made her wonder what she'd been thinking. Even if she hadn't intended (or expected) for them to hurt him. Paige's hands drew back from the pile of books and she sat in the chair across from him without asking if she could, her shoulders slumped at a hangdog angle. "...Simon?" she said quietly, not sure what she wanted him to say, but hoping that he'd at least say something.

Part of him wanted to ask; who had she been with? But it wasn't important. Not now.

Simon sucked a breath, then dropped his eyes. "Paige...I...like you. I always have. I don't know if it was just...the timing or...or. But...I care about him." He both winced and tried to hide the blush across his cheeks at the same time. "I care about him a lot."

Under these circumstances, hearing Simon say that shouldn't have made her heart skip a beat; but it did. I like you. Then reality and context caught up with the sentiment and replaced that fluttering, elated feeling with a bittersweet ache. He liked her, but Jean-Paul was more to him than a crush. Paige looked at the table, willing her expression to be collected and her voice to be strong. Neither seemed inclined to listen. "I like you too," she admitted quietly, as if she hadn't said as much already, "Ever since the blackout. When we first met." She tried to laugh a little, adding, "Ya'll have come a long way from bickerin' in the pantry."

She put her fingers against the edge of the table and pursed her lips, silent for a moment. "I guess...it just wasn't meant to be. Huh?"

"Would it be too selfish of me to ask if we can still be friends?" Simon asked quietly.

Paige shook her head before she could pause or hesitate or attempt to articulate an answer. The situation was complicated, but that much was simple; she wanted to be Simon's friend. That realization soothed some of the turmoil and she smiled faintly at the boy across the table. "...I'd be pretty sore if you didn't, actually."

"You and me both," he smiled sideways, then reached out to grasp her hand, letting the surge of information briefly overload his senses before he filtered it out of his mind. "I have few enough of them as it is."

Paige wasn't at all curious about what Simon's powers might be telling him and she wasn't even aware enough of that fact for it to surprise her; her attention was held entirely by the pressure of his hand. She squeezed back. "They're missin' out."

Simon laughed softly, ducking his head. "So. What have I been missing out on while I've been gone?"

"You're askin' me?" Paige answered, her smile broadening and relaxing and seeming more like her own again. Then she shrugged and slowly unwrapped her hand from around Simon's. "You really have been away too much."

He laughed again; a boyish grin showing as he looked up at her. "Yeah well. Sue me. Come on. You've got to at least have your ear to the ground about our library friends."

It would take some time to learn not to swoon over expressions like that, but Paige managed not to blush in response and instead tilted her head back in thought. It was embarrassing to realize how focused she'd been on herself lately; between school and work and Shinobi, almost everything else had slipped out of focus. "I haven't seen much of them lately," she admitted, smiling sheepishly and shrugging, "I guess Eames must've dislodged Arthur, but...I don't know."

That was a little surprising. Simon wouldn't have thought even Eames could get Arthur out of the library for long. Something tugged at his memory - Eames coming to him for a check-up. He'd mentioned someone he was close to...and Simon had to wonder. He shook his head a little as he looked back up at Paige. "What about you? What have you been doing?"

Paige saw the confusion and the consideration pass over Simon's face, the way that he tried to clear his thoughts with a shake of his head, but she didn't press the matter. Though she might have if he hadn't presented her with another question. She toyed with a wisp of blonde hair that hung by her cheek as she thought about how to answer, then tucked it behind her ear. The gesture looked decisive but her answer, as before, wasn't. "School and work," she said, then cracked a broad smile, "Then more school and more work." And Shinobi. She spent what seemed like a long moment considering that, then laughed, the sound sheepish and directed at herself.

"Shinobi...had a dress tailored for me. For the dance. Almost too absurd to picture, isn't it?" Her blue eyes flicked downward. "But...that was somethin'."

Simon's jaw unhinged, then hung there. He might not pay attention to pop culture or even the corporate business world on a whole, but he definitely knew about...Shinobi. "Shinobi? Shaw?" he breathed, incredulous. "That self-absorbed, playboy, trouble-making ass?!"

Paige's hand, still resting close to Simon's on the table even if they were no longer touching, drew back and she frowned at him without any attempt to hide it. "He's not an ass," she protested, her mind catching unwillingly on the word 'playboy' before she added with less certainty but more insistence, "He's not any of those things."

"I...you...seriously?!" Simon asked, staring at her."Him?"

Paige's blush returned, but more from anger (or maybe hurt) than embarrassment this time. "That's not fair, Simon," she said, looking down at the table and pointedly away from him. Shinobi wasn't perfect, she knew that. He could be flippant and over-eager. He had no common sense and an ego the size of a small moon. But he was sweet too and she liked being around him. And he wasn't the one being a jerk just now anyway.

Simon shut his mouth, swallowing what he might have said next, a frown dimpling his forehead. He'd figured that she'd gone to the dance with someone...nice. Intelligent. Generally reliable. But Shinobi Shaw. His mind was blown, and he had to struggle to get his foot out of his mouth. Why would she want him, of all people? "You...you're right. It's. Not fair," he stumbled over the words, trying to remind himself that he'd never actually met the guy. "But...do you know what you're doing?"

A nice, sweet, Southern girl like her...with Shinobi Shaw.

No, he realized, he needed a drink. Or maybe a kick to the head. Shinobi's head.

The question indicated more concern for her than contempt for Shinobi, so Paige let it slide despite the way its implications made her want to bristle. Boys were like that sometimes. Especially the boys that were older brothers and thought all girls (even the ones that were not their little sister) needed protecting. She pulled in a breath, released a sigh, and looked at Simon. "No," she admitted, "But at our age how could I?" She doubted Simon and Jean-Paul knew what they were doing either. She pushed back her hair and shook her head. "...he's not the guy you think he is."

"Maybe not," Simon conceded, though it was clearly painful for him to do so. However much he didn't know Shinobi, he knew rich kids. Even Worthington could be a ass if he wanted to. Shinobi couldn't be any different, no matter what kind of face he'd shown to Paige so far. He didn't say that, though. Because, honestly, the way Paige was looking at him, he realized that he was currently the one being the jerk. He swallowed again, then dropped his gaze. "Maybe not. I'm sorry."

The defensive anger continued to subside, little by little, until Paige nodded. "It's all right," she said quietly at last, wondering if she would've let the matter go so quickly for anyone but Simon Tam. But it didn't matter. "Just give him a chance. Okay?"

A chance to what? Simon wanted to ask, but he only barely managed to bite it off, looking a little guilty as he leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. "Uh. Yeah. Sure."

The doubt in Simon's face, Paige thought, could've been seen from space. But he was trying, trying hard, and she appreciated that regardless of where he ended up. "Thanks," she said, not sure what else was safe to say and taking her hands into her lap to fidget and twist anxiously together beneath the cover of the table.

That awkward silence lasted all of a breath, and Simon pushed up from the table. "So. I...just remembered. There's something I need to do...in the lab."

Paige blinked, surprise and understanding and some subtle measure of hurt passing over her face in a matter of seconds. Her hands stilled in her lap. "Sure," she said slowly, attempting to sound as if she didn't know this was a lie, then she pursed her lips and stood up too, moving to retrieve her stack of books from the table. "Hey, Simon," she interjected before he could turn around, "Are we...okay?"

Simon worked his mouth for a moment, then his features shifted, relaxing, brows drawn in. "Yeah. Yeah, we're...we're okay, Paige. Honestly."

Honestly. Paige supposed she would just have to believe that and nodded. "I'm glad," she said and tried on a small smile, "Good luck. With your lab work."

He flushed a little. "I...ah, I don't actually-"

The girl gave him a well duh look that was partly affectionate and partly exasperated, then shrugged. "But you're goin' just the same," she pointed out, sounding certain but not happy about it, "Right?"

"Well..." he glanced down at his laptop, Which he'd closed, but not pulled into his arms just yet. "I should probably finish this paper..."

Still half-holding her books, Paige leaned their angular bulk against the table and looked at Simon in uncertain silence until her features gave way to honest confusion. The line had been a transparent excuse to depart and end the conversation; both of them had seemed to acknowledge that. Now, though, he seemed to want to stay and... "Do you want me to go?" she asked, relenting as she realized how hard it would be for him to say 'yes' without feel guilty over it and adding, "So you can start workin'?"

Simon wanted to beat his head against the table. He winced and then sighed at her. "I'm an idiot. Just...stay. Please."

Paige blinked, her expression one of blatant surprise until it relaxed into a helpless smile. "I think I might be the idiot," she told him, gradually releasing the books back onto the table and starting to sit down again. She must be if it had taken her that long to understand what he meant and why he'd abandoned his fib. It seemed to be the effect they had on each other sometimes.

He smiled wanly. "You're anything but."
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Omnia Mutantur

December 2016

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