Kurt and Benjamin
Apr. 15th, 2016 07:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
om_shatterstar posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
om_mainAfter Kurt misses fencing practice, Benjamin goes to check on his friend.
Kurt sat on the stage of the empty theater. Stacks of schoolwork and uncorrected tests sat in front of him untouched. He couldn’t concentrate. He’d wanted a distraction and had hoped that work would get his mind off of things, but it hadn’t. It had been nearly a week since he and Blaine had broken up and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Maybe didn’t want to just yet.
Long distance relationships were not easy and things between him and Blaine had been rough for awhile now. They’d tried hard, but...it just hasn’t worked. It had become more and more difficult to find times they could call each other or meet online to Skype. Texts had become infrequent, email replies had become spread further and further apart. Not because neither of them didn’t want to find the time. They both did, they’d both struggled to. They’d fought schedules and time zones and tried so many different ways of keeping in touch, but none of it had really worked.
The decision and the talk that had come before it came as a surprise to them both. They’d met on Skype for a movie and dinner date they’d kept pushing back and they’d just...started talking. And kept talking. It went well into the early hours of the morning, both of them crying, and, in the end,...it was over. It was...it was the right decision. For them both. As hard as they had both tried to deny it, their lives were growing in separate directions. But, it was still hard. And it still hurt. Gott, he still couldn’t believe their relationship was over. He’d really thought they’d be together forever.
Approaching silently, Benjamin observed Kurt with a sense of uncertainty that had originated with the older boy's failure to show up for their fencing practice (which was not at all like him) and which was deepening into concern as he neared the stage. The slumped shoulders and the distant gaze and the exhaustion which seemed to go beyond just muscle and bone all made his friend seem like someone else and he didn't know what that meant. He stopped once he was close enough to touch the edge of the stage.
"You did not meet me," he said, his tone soft and lacking any traces of accusation, "Is everything all right?"
Kurt startled at the break in the silence. He looked over, surprised to see Benjamin there. He hadn’t even heard anyone come in. “Ach, I am so sorry, Benjamin,” he apologized, upset at himself for letting his friend down. “It slipped my mind. I...” He sighed quietly, tired. “It has been a long week, mein Freund... That is not meant to be an excuse--Just an explanation.”
Still watching Kurt and noting how that mere exhalation seemed to take so much out of him, Benjamin frowned. "I require neither," he said, climbing up onto the stage without effort and sitting across from the older boy amid the unmarked papers. "Everything...is not all right," he confirmed after a moment, then asked, "Can I help?"
Kurt looked over at Benjamin. The mismatched eyes were steady on him, watching him with a quiet worry. Kurt’s mouth opened, then closed again. It was like the words didn’t want to be said. They were heavy in his stomach and a knot in his throat. Saying them aloud made them more real. Every time.
“Blaine.” Kurt’s voice caught on Blaine’s name. “Blaine and I broke up.”
At first, Benjamin couldn't comprehend this. The last time Kurt had mentioned Blaine, he'd been announcing an engagement and he'd seemed so happy and certain and ready for that future. He didn't understand how all of that could have changed so quickly; the realization that Kurt likely didn't either prompted his frown to deepen. "I...am sorry," he said quietly, then shook his head before meeting the older boy's eyes again. "Why did it happen?"
The ‘why’ was something Kurt was still trying to understand himself. Everything had been perfect. They’d had their lives planned out together, and now suddenly it was over. He was still having a hard time wrapping his head, and his heart, around it, even though logically, he understood. It just...still didn’t feel...real.
“We were having trouble,” Kurt said. “It was...hard--very hard--having a long distance relationship. We were in different time zones, both working and juggling other things. We were having less and less time to talk even though we were working hard to find that time. It got harder and harder. Eventually, we realized,” he had to pause there, the words sticking in his throat as tears pricked at his eyes, “admitted, really, that we were going in two different directions.”
That it had all come down to circumstance, a misalignment of purposes and needs, was something that Benjamin could understand. But while relationships with family and friends could endure that, it seemed that this was...different. "And you do not think that will change," he said softly, seeing the shine of tears appear in Kurt's eyes, "So this is all you could do."
“Ja,” Kurt answered. He looked down and away, wiping at his eye. “I,” his voice caught again, “I keep wanting to call him and tell him we should try again. I want to tell him we had something once and it can not really be over. But, I can’t do that to him. Und I think...I think we made the right decision.” He had to believe that.
Kurt’s heart ached. “It is over. Maybe in the future that will change. But, right now this is the best for us both.”
Benjamin swallowed stiffly; it was difficult to know that his friend was in such acute pain and not to know what to do for him. There had to be words for moments like these, but he didn't know them. Instead, finally, he moved to his knees and leaned over the unmarked papers between them to pull his friend into a hard hug. "You know what is right," he said after a long moment, "I...am sorry that does not stop it from hurting."
Kurt returned the hug. “Danke,” he said, squeezing Benjamin tighter. He had thought talking about it would be harder than it was and, while it hadn’t been easy, it had helped. He felt...a little bit better almost.
A long moment passed before Benjamin loosened his hold on Kurt, not releasing the older boy entirely but enough that he could look him in the face. He wanted to say more, but a damp streak on his friend's cheek caught his focus and made words seem even more elusive. He hesitated, then gently wiped it away with a callused fingertip.
Kurt smiled, touched by the gesture. “Thank you, mein Freund,” he said and reached up to take Benjamin’s hand and give it a fond squeeze.
Benjamin didn't understand what he had done to earn Kurt's gratitude, but he squeezed the older boy's hand in return just the same. "...I am here if you need me," he said finally, "Know that."
Kurt smiled again. He was lucky to have such good friends with shoulders he could lean on. His heart sunk and, with it, his smile, as he realized how much harder this probably was for Blaine who was so far from home and his friends. “I know you are. Danke.”
Unable to decipher the meaning of the abruptly returning and departing smile, Benjamin hesitated, his brows furrowing with concern. He didn't know what to do, not when there was no one to blame for this pain and nothing that he could protect Kurt from, and he felt certain that almost anyone would be better suited to this task than he was. But he wanted to help. He asked carefully, "There is...something else?"
Kurt shook his head and gave Benjamin’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “No, I am alright,” he said. “I was just thinking about Blaine. He is on the other side of the country and I do not know if he has people to turn to right now like I do. I am very fortunate to have you and Jeanne-Marie here. I just hope he has someone too.”
Kurt had always been empathetic, the kindest person Benjamin had ever known, and so this answer did not surprise him. It simply made him sad. He embraced his friend one more time, firmly, before finally sitting back. "You are too kind for your own good, sometimes, I think," he told his friend, "But Blaine is strong too. He will manage."
“You are right,” Kurt said with a small nod and smile. “He is.” It did not make him any less concerned for Blaine’s well-being, but it did reassure him. Blaine would be okay. He was strong.
Lapsing into silence, Benjamin placed his hands palm-down on his knees and glanced at the stage. He didn't know what more he could do or say, but he knew that he didn't want to leave Kurt alone. Finally, he looked up and said, "I...would like to take you somewhere. I have been told that it is important to 'get out' after such events. So your world does not start to seem smaller than it is. It will be your choice and my treat." He managed a faint, uncertain smile. "Will you come?"
Kurt’s surprise at the offer turned into a smile. He nodded and said, “I would like that very much.” It was a kind and thoughtful suggestion and maybe Ben was right, maybe some time out would be good for him.
Hints of relief surfaced in Benjamin's expression; he was glad the suggestion hadn't been a misstep and it was good to see Kurt smile. He gestured toward the papers and asked, "Does this require your attention first?"
Kurt gathered up the papers, stacking them neatly. “No. It is nothing that cannot wait until later. I just need to return them to my room. I will be right back.” He disappeared in a flash of purple-black smoke and reappeared a moment later empty handed and wearing a hoodie.
Benjamin nodded, watching as Kurt disappeared in a puff of blue-gray smoke and waiting for him returned. He didn't know yet where this would go, but he hoped that it would help to distance or distract his friend from his pain. At least for a while. Once the other boy was back, he dropped a hand on his shoulder and said, "Come. We will paint the town..." The proper color one was meant to use seemed to evade him and he grimaced momentarily before repeating the statement with an altered cadence, "We will paint the town. Where would you like to go?"
Kurt chuckled. “Ja, we will paint it.” He considered where they could go and then said, “How about the theater? The one I visit in Salem Center is doing The Scarlet Pimpernel. I think you will love it.” He’d not yet seen the show, but had been planning on going for awhile now. What better time to go than with Benjamin who would appreciate the story as much as he did the beauty in the choreographed fights?
Benjamin didn't have the slightest idea what a pimpernel was, but he liked the theatre and (more importantly) so did Kurt. The two of them had gone numerous times over the years and, for them, there was nothing but pleasant memories there. It seemed like a good place to start. He nodded in agreement and gave a small smile, "Then I have no doubt I will. Let's go."
Kurt sat on the stage of the empty theater. Stacks of schoolwork and uncorrected tests sat in front of him untouched. He couldn’t concentrate. He’d wanted a distraction and had hoped that work would get his mind off of things, but it hadn’t. It had been nearly a week since he and Blaine had broken up and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Maybe didn’t want to just yet.
Long distance relationships were not easy and things between him and Blaine had been rough for awhile now. They’d tried hard, but...it just hasn’t worked. It had become more and more difficult to find times they could call each other or meet online to Skype. Texts had become infrequent, email replies had become spread further and further apart. Not because neither of them didn’t want to find the time. They both did, they’d both struggled to. They’d fought schedules and time zones and tried so many different ways of keeping in touch, but none of it had really worked.
The decision and the talk that had come before it came as a surprise to them both. They’d met on Skype for a movie and dinner date they’d kept pushing back and they’d just...started talking. And kept talking. It went well into the early hours of the morning, both of them crying, and, in the end,...it was over. It was...it was the right decision. For them both. As hard as they had both tried to deny it, their lives were growing in separate directions. But, it was still hard. And it still hurt. Gott, he still couldn’t believe their relationship was over. He’d really thought they’d be together forever.
Approaching silently, Benjamin observed Kurt with a sense of uncertainty that had originated with the older boy's failure to show up for their fencing practice (which was not at all like him) and which was deepening into concern as he neared the stage. The slumped shoulders and the distant gaze and the exhaustion which seemed to go beyond just muscle and bone all made his friend seem like someone else and he didn't know what that meant. He stopped once he was close enough to touch the edge of the stage.
"You did not meet me," he said, his tone soft and lacking any traces of accusation, "Is everything all right?"
Kurt startled at the break in the silence. He looked over, surprised to see Benjamin there. He hadn’t even heard anyone come in. “Ach, I am so sorry, Benjamin,” he apologized, upset at himself for letting his friend down. “It slipped my mind. I...” He sighed quietly, tired. “It has been a long week, mein Freund... That is not meant to be an excuse--Just an explanation.”
Still watching Kurt and noting how that mere exhalation seemed to take so much out of him, Benjamin frowned. "I require neither," he said, climbing up onto the stage without effort and sitting across from the older boy amid the unmarked papers. "Everything...is not all right," he confirmed after a moment, then asked, "Can I help?"
Kurt looked over at Benjamin. The mismatched eyes were steady on him, watching him with a quiet worry. Kurt’s mouth opened, then closed again. It was like the words didn’t want to be said. They were heavy in his stomach and a knot in his throat. Saying them aloud made them more real. Every time.
“Blaine.” Kurt’s voice caught on Blaine’s name. “Blaine and I broke up.”
At first, Benjamin couldn't comprehend this. The last time Kurt had mentioned Blaine, he'd been announcing an engagement and he'd seemed so happy and certain and ready for that future. He didn't understand how all of that could have changed so quickly; the realization that Kurt likely didn't either prompted his frown to deepen. "I...am sorry," he said quietly, then shook his head before meeting the older boy's eyes again. "Why did it happen?"
The ‘why’ was something Kurt was still trying to understand himself. Everything had been perfect. They’d had their lives planned out together, and now suddenly it was over. He was still having a hard time wrapping his head, and his heart, around it, even though logically, he understood. It just...still didn’t feel...real.
“We were having trouble,” Kurt said. “It was...hard--very hard--having a long distance relationship. We were in different time zones, both working and juggling other things. We were having less and less time to talk even though we were working hard to find that time. It got harder and harder. Eventually, we realized,” he had to pause there, the words sticking in his throat as tears pricked at his eyes, “admitted, really, that we were going in two different directions.”
That it had all come down to circumstance, a misalignment of purposes and needs, was something that Benjamin could understand. But while relationships with family and friends could endure that, it seemed that this was...different. "And you do not think that will change," he said softly, seeing the shine of tears appear in Kurt's eyes, "So this is all you could do."
“Ja,” Kurt answered. He looked down and away, wiping at his eye. “I,” his voice caught again, “I keep wanting to call him and tell him we should try again. I want to tell him we had something once and it can not really be over. But, I can’t do that to him. Und I think...I think we made the right decision.” He had to believe that.
Kurt’s heart ached. “It is over. Maybe in the future that will change. But, right now this is the best for us both.”
Benjamin swallowed stiffly; it was difficult to know that his friend was in such acute pain and not to know what to do for him. There had to be words for moments like these, but he didn't know them. Instead, finally, he moved to his knees and leaned over the unmarked papers between them to pull his friend into a hard hug. "You know what is right," he said after a long moment, "I...am sorry that does not stop it from hurting."
Kurt returned the hug. “Danke,” he said, squeezing Benjamin tighter. He had thought talking about it would be harder than it was and, while it hadn’t been easy, it had helped. He felt...a little bit better almost.
A long moment passed before Benjamin loosened his hold on Kurt, not releasing the older boy entirely but enough that he could look him in the face. He wanted to say more, but a damp streak on his friend's cheek caught his focus and made words seem even more elusive. He hesitated, then gently wiped it away with a callused fingertip.
Kurt smiled, touched by the gesture. “Thank you, mein Freund,” he said and reached up to take Benjamin’s hand and give it a fond squeeze.
Benjamin didn't understand what he had done to earn Kurt's gratitude, but he squeezed the older boy's hand in return just the same. "...I am here if you need me," he said finally, "Know that."
Kurt smiled again. He was lucky to have such good friends with shoulders he could lean on. His heart sunk and, with it, his smile, as he realized how much harder this probably was for Blaine who was so far from home and his friends. “I know you are. Danke.”
Unable to decipher the meaning of the abruptly returning and departing smile, Benjamin hesitated, his brows furrowing with concern. He didn't know what to do, not when there was no one to blame for this pain and nothing that he could protect Kurt from, and he felt certain that almost anyone would be better suited to this task than he was. But he wanted to help. He asked carefully, "There is...something else?"
Kurt shook his head and gave Benjamin’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “No, I am alright,” he said. “I was just thinking about Blaine. He is on the other side of the country and I do not know if he has people to turn to right now like I do. I am very fortunate to have you and Jeanne-Marie here. I just hope he has someone too.”
Kurt had always been empathetic, the kindest person Benjamin had ever known, and so this answer did not surprise him. It simply made him sad. He embraced his friend one more time, firmly, before finally sitting back. "You are too kind for your own good, sometimes, I think," he told his friend, "But Blaine is strong too. He will manage."
“You are right,” Kurt said with a small nod and smile. “He is.” It did not make him any less concerned for Blaine’s well-being, but it did reassure him. Blaine would be okay. He was strong.
Lapsing into silence, Benjamin placed his hands palm-down on his knees and glanced at the stage. He didn't know what more he could do or say, but he knew that he didn't want to leave Kurt alone. Finally, he looked up and said, "I...would like to take you somewhere. I have been told that it is important to 'get out' after such events. So your world does not start to seem smaller than it is. It will be your choice and my treat." He managed a faint, uncertain smile. "Will you come?"
Kurt’s surprise at the offer turned into a smile. He nodded and said, “I would like that very much.” It was a kind and thoughtful suggestion and maybe Ben was right, maybe some time out would be good for him.
Hints of relief surfaced in Benjamin's expression; he was glad the suggestion hadn't been a misstep and it was good to see Kurt smile. He gestured toward the papers and asked, "Does this require your attention first?"
Kurt gathered up the papers, stacking them neatly. “No. It is nothing that cannot wait until later. I just need to return them to my room. I will be right back.” He disappeared in a flash of purple-black smoke and reappeared a moment later empty handed and wearing a hoodie.
Benjamin nodded, watching as Kurt disappeared in a puff of blue-gray smoke and waiting for him returned. He didn't know yet where this would go, but he hoped that it would help to distance or distract his friend from his pain. At least for a while. Once the other boy was back, he dropped a hand on his shoulder and said, "Come. We will paint the town..." The proper color one was meant to use seemed to evade him and he grimaced momentarily before repeating the statement with an altered cadence, "We will paint the town. Where would you like to go?"
Kurt chuckled. “Ja, we will paint it.” He considered where they could go and then said, “How about the theater? The one I visit in Salem Center is doing The Scarlet Pimpernel. I think you will love it.” He’d not yet seen the show, but had been planning on going for awhile now. What better time to go than with Benjamin who would appreciate the story as much as he did the beauty in the choreographed fights?
Benjamin didn't have the slightest idea what a pimpernel was, but he liked the theatre and (more importantly) so did Kurt. The two of them had gone numerous times over the years and, for them, there was nothing but pleasant memories there. It seemed like a good place to start. He nodded in agreement and gave a small smile, "Then I have no doubt I will. Let's go."
