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om_mainShaun runs into Tessa in the library, a lot of confronting happens and he learns some things about Jensen's situation.
611...614...there, 616. Shaun glanced at the titles until he found the one he was looking for, Level Four: Virus Hunters of the CDC, and pulled it from the shelf, flipping it over to read the back cover. An added benefit to all the time he and Jensen had been spending together lately had the added benefit of his control improving more in the last month than it had in the last four combined, and with that control came more interest in the power itself. He wanted to learn how to do more than keep from infecting every person he touched- he wanted to learn how do it on command, how to queue up a specific disease. With that, Dr. McTaggart had suggested, may come with a better understanding of epidemiology itself, so here he was, tracking down the first of many he'd found on the computer uncatalogued.
Coming out of the other end of the stacks, he paused just for a moment as he was taken by surprise by the girl sitting at one of the center tables. His reaction outwardly only seemed to take a second, a flicker that could have been attributed to suddenly remembering what he needed to do later or any number of things, but inwardly, his stomach was churning.
Avoiding Tessa was easy. She didn't have any of his classes, or if she did, she didn't go, and it wasn't like they ran in the same circles, Once in a while, though, in the halls or during dinner, he'd see her and every time, it felt like his blood boiled. He'd never pressed Jensen further about what had happened, but he hadn't forgotten how Jensen had been huddled in their bathroom, room torn to shit and him too freaked out to let anyone touch him. He didn't say anything, though, as much as he wanted to, because Jensen asked him not to and, frankly, it wasn't any of his fucking business. So, he stared at his piece of paper as he passed her table, trying to figure out where his next book was.
Tessa, whose attention had been wholly absorbed by the screen of her tablet computer, moved suddenly as Shaun attempted to move by her. Dark eyes rose, and she held out a hand--though she stopped just short of touching him. Such a turbulent maelstrom of emotion as he currently experienced would have been easily perceived, even by the most inattentive psychic. That it was directed at her, in particular, had not escaped Tessa's notice, either.
"There is something you wish to discuss with me," she said. It was plain by her tone that she was stating a fact rather than asking a question.
Shaun froze, surprised when Tessa stopped him until he remembered, right, psychic. He glanced over and considered her for a moment, his expression bland, though it was only a lifetime of practice that kept his emotions for surfacing. He wanted to ask what the fuck she could possibly have said to freak Jensen out like that when he saw her enough as it was, but being confronted about it made it so much worse.
He opened his mouth, only to stop himself and close it again with a sigh, rolling his eyes slightly. "Actually, there really isn't," he said finally, adjusting his grip on his books.
She studied him intently before replying, "Setting aside for a moment that I am a keen observer of human behavior, I am also a telepath. It is pointless to attempt to mislead me regarding a topic about which you feel so strongly." A slender hand indicated the chair across from her, before Tessa folded them sedately in front of her chest. "You want to know the reason for your roommate's extreme aversion for my company. I am prepared to discuss the matter, though I am not certain the answers I could offer would significantly ease your mind."
Shaun sighed again irritably and ran his hand through his hair, glancing around as he considered his options before eventually conceding and taking the offered seat. "Fine. But only if you promise not to take it out on him or some shit. The only reason I've waited this long is because he's terrified you'll use whatever you have on him if I say something."
It took Tessa a bare fraction of a second--scarcely enough time for Shaun to finish speaking--to replay the the first, and only, conversation she and Jensen had ever had. She exhaled softly. "Yes, I suppose I can understand why he might have inferred as much. But I am not sufficiently petty to attempt to punish him for his," it took very slightly longer for her to come up with the most accurate and tactful way to describe the relationship between the roommates, "friend's perfectly understandable concern. I'm afraid he has inflated a regrettable tactic applied to address a specific set of circumstances into a form of retaliation I will unleash at the slightest provocation. I must acknowledge that I am more than partially responsible for failing to explain our arrangement adequately and apologize."
"Well, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear that." Shaun ran his hand through his hair, tugging it at the base of his head. He sighed and leaned down on the table, shaking his head a little. "I just don't get it. Like, Jensen doesn't really freak out about anything that doesn't involve Star Trek. And he-" he paused, still feeling uncomfortable talking about this, but knew it anyway, so what was the fucking point? "He had a panic attack. His powers were completely freaking out." He shook his head and looked at her carefully. "Is he in trouble? I just can't figure out what the fuck he could have done that you could have blackmailed him with. I know he doesn't hurt anyone with his hacking."
"He hasn't done anything, or hurt anyone. Not to my knowledge, at any rate," Tessa replied, almost absently. Given the scope of her knowledge of the Institute's student body, the possibility that Jensen had done anything of the sort without her noticing was vanishingly remote. More troubling was the fact that his anxiety had begun to interfere with his powers. That was a counterproductive outcome, and would have to be addressed with all possible haste. "Perhaps this is the most expedient route," she mused aloud. "Jensen trusts you. You are therefore in a position to assist him in ways I cannot. But before I divulge any of the particular details, you should consider whether or not you truly want to know. Some secrets, once known, can never be un-known. Are you prepared to risk damaging your relationship with Jensen, potentially beyond repair, in order to help him?"
Shaun's head was spinning, and a sick, uneasy feeling had settled into his stomach. He'd just wanted to ignore her, or maybe yell at her for freaking him out, and now he was having to consider if Jensen's friendship was more important than helping him. "I-I don't-" he started, then stopped again and exhaled slowly. Fuck. He wanted to say no, just go back to being whatever they were to each other, but he couldn't. Between Jensen's reaction and Tessa's seriousness, he had to be in trouble, and he knew he couldn't live with himself if he didn't do something to help him, even if it cost him his friendship.
"Yeah," he said finally, scrubbing his face with his hands. "If he's in trouble or someone is hurting him... What choice do I have? I have to help him."'
Tessa studied the other teen soberly for a handful of moments, then flicked her fingers over the top of her tablet. "Then I will show you what I have learned. For what it's worth, I think it is a great credit to your character that you have opted for the more difficult route. It is, in my opinion, the correct one." She flipped the portable device around and pushed it toward Shaun. Prominently displayed on its screen were the medical records she had copied from several different hospitals in the Boston-Cambridge metropolitan area. It would, to her mind, be more effective than any attempt she might make to put Jensen's situation into words.
"I am sorry."
Shaun took the device and began to sort through the file, his brow furrowed. A sick feeling started in his stomach started halfway through, that feeling of dread only intensifying, even though he was still having trouble coming to the conclusion. On his second read-through, the pieces started to fall together. The medical records became much more frequent after 2003, two or three reports a year of fractures and breaks, cuts bad enough to need stitches, never the same hospital or urgent care clinic within the same year. The past injuries never reported on intake forms.
"Oh, fuck," Shaun finally muttered, and pushed the device away quickly. His parents abused him. He felt sick and angry, at Jensen's parents, at the headmasters for not doing anything, at himself for not seeing it even irrationally at Jensen for never saying anything, though he quickly rebuked himself. He felt like he was on fire, and it showed as he turned his head, looking at Tessa as he hissed, "How could you use this against him?"
Seemingly unperturbed, Tessa collected her pad and rested it between her elbows, regarding Shaun levelly. "Your roommate is not the only student at the Institute with secrets he would prefer not become widely known," she said. "I simply traded my silence for his; I used nothing against him. There was never a need. But silence, I think, will not lead Jensen to any desirable outcome, nor will continuing to suffer alone. I am bound by my word, and I do not think he would accept help from me in any case. What will you do?"
It seemed like the same thing to him, but he didn't want to argue about it anymore, especially when faced with that question. "Fuck, I don't even know," he said, scrubbing his face again and leaving his hands in his hair. How the fuck had no one done something about this before now? What was the fucking point of having a telepathic headmaster if they couldn't sense this shit?
He sighed and shrugged, putting his hands down on the table. "I'll have to think about it but...talk to him, I guess. To start. Fuck, he has a little sister." Christ, if they abused her too...The thought made him sick to his stomach. "Talk to him, talk to the headmasters if I have to."
"That seems as reasonable a place to start as any," she nodded. "However, I would caution against pressing too strongly for him to confide in the relevant authorities; he will do nothing, I think, that he perceives will jeopardize his sister's happiness." Misguided and potentially hazardous as that perception may have been. But that was an issue to be addressed at another time. "Of primary importance is assisting him in understanding that there is nothing inherently shameful or damning in his predicament. His affable exterior conceals a place of deep fear and pain and betrayal. He may respond with hostility to any attempt to probe it."
"Yeah." He had a feeling it was something like that, if only from the fact that it was easy to see what you did in other people. "Yeah, that's a good point. I won't say anything to them at first. I'll just talk to him about it."
He pushed his chair away from the table, pulling his books into his lap. He needed to get out of here and think, somewhere alone where people couldn't read his thoughts. "I still don't agree with what you did, Tessa," he said quietly, and he just sounded tired, "but thank you. I'll do what I can."
"In the balance, I think it may be better you do not," she replied, her eyes turning back to the flat screen of her tablet. "I did what was necessary, and what is necessary is only infrequently kind. It is one of the more unfortunate aspects of the circumstances in which we live." Tessa glanced up at Shaun a final time. "I wish you all possible good fortune in your effort to assist Backlash with his emotional turmoil. If there is any aid I can render in this regard, please do not hesitate to alert me straightaway."
"Thanks, will do," he said, tossing off a mock-salute before turning away. "See you around, Tessa." And with that he checked out his books and headed out, eager to be alone.
611...614...there, 616. Shaun glanced at the titles until he found the one he was looking for, Level Four: Virus Hunters of the CDC, and pulled it from the shelf, flipping it over to read the back cover. An added benefit to all the time he and Jensen had been spending together lately had the added benefit of his control improving more in the last month than it had in the last four combined, and with that control came more interest in the power itself. He wanted to learn how to do more than keep from infecting every person he touched- he wanted to learn how do it on command, how to queue up a specific disease. With that, Dr. McTaggart had suggested, may come with a better understanding of epidemiology itself, so here he was, tracking down the first of many he'd found on the computer uncatalogued.
Coming out of the other end of the stacks, he paused just for a moment as he was taken by surprise by the girl sitting at one of the center tables. His reaction outwardly only seemed to take a second, a flicker that could have been attributed to suddenly remembering what he needed to do later or any number of things, but inwardly, his stomach was churning.
Avoiding Tessa was easy. She didn't have any of his classes, or if she did, she didn't go, and it wasn't like they ran in the same circles, Once in a while, though, in the halls or during dinner, he'd see her and every time, it felt like his blood boiled. He'd never pressed Jensen further about what had happened, but he hadn't forgotten how Jensen had been huddled in their bathroom, room torn to shit and him too freaked out to let anyone touch him. He didn't say anything, though, as much as he wanted to, because Jensen asked him not to and, frankly, it wasn't any of his fucking business. So, he stared at his piece of paper as he passed her table, trying to figure out where his next book was.
Tessa, whose attention had been wholly absorbed by the screen of her tablet computer, moved suddenly as Shaun attempted to move by her. Dark eyes rose, and she held out a hand--though she stopped just short of touching him. Such a turbulent maelstrom of emotion as he currently experienced would have been easily perceived, even by the most inattentive psychic. That it was directed at her, in particular, had not escaped Tessa's notice, either.
"There is something you wish to discuss with me," she said. It was plain by her tone that she was stating a fact rather than asking a question.
Shaun froze, surprised when Tessa stopped him until he remembered, right, psychic. He glanced over and considered her for a moment, his expression bland, though it was only a lifetime of practice that kept his emotions for surfacing. He wanted to ask what the fuck she could possibly have said to freak Jensen out like that when he saw her enough as it was, but being confronted about it made it so much worse.
He opened his mouth, only to stop himself and close it again with a sigh, rolling his eyes slightly. "Actually, there really isn't," he said finally, adjusting his grip on his books.
She studied him intently before replying, "Setting aside for a moment that I am a keen observer of human behavior, I am also a telepath. It is pointless to attempt to mislead me regarding a topic about which you feel so strongly." A slender hand indicated the chair across from her, before Tessa folded them sedately in front of her chest. "You want to know the reason for your roommate's extreme aversion for my company. I am prepared to discuss the matter, though I am not certain the answers I could offer would significantly ease your mind."
Shaun sighed again irritably and ran his hand through his hair, glancing around as he considered his options before eventually conceding and taking the offered seat. "Fine. But only if you promise not to take it out on him or some shit. The only reason I've waited this long is because he's terrified you'll use whatever you have on him if I say something."
It took Tessa a bare fraction of a second--scarcely enough time for Shaun to finish speaking--to replay the the first, and only, conversation she and Jensen had ever had. She exhaled softly. "Yes, I suppose I can understand why he might have inferred as much. But I am not sufficiently petty to attempt to punish him for his," it took very slightly longer for her to come up with the most accurate and tactful way to describe the relationship between the roommates, "friend's perfectly understandable concern. I'm afraid he has inflated a regrettable tactic applied to address a specific set of circumstances into a form of retaliation I will unleash at the slightest provocation. I must acknowledge that I am more than partially responsible for failing to explain our arrangement adequately and apologize."
"Well, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear that." Shaun ran his hand through his hair, tugging it at the base of his head. He sighed and leaned down on the table, shaking his head a little. "I just don't get it. Like, Jensen doesn't really freak out about anything that doesn't involve Star Trek. And he-" he paused, still feeling uncomfortable talking about this, but knew it anyway, so what was the fucking point? "He had a panic attack. His powers were completely freaking out." He shook his head and looked at her carefully. "Is he in trouble? I just can't figure out what the fuck he could have done that you could have blackmailed him with. I know he doesn't hurt anyone with his hacking."
"He hasn't done anything, or hurt anyone. Not to my knowledge, at any rate," Tessa replied, almost absently. Given the scope of her knowledge of the Institute's student body, the possibility that Jensen had done anything of the sort without her noticing was vanishingly remote. More troubling was the fact that his anxiety had begun to interfere with his powers. That was a counterproductive outcome, and would have to be addressed with all possible haste. "Perhaps this is the most expedient route," she mused aloud. "Jensen trusts you. You are therefore in a position to assist him in ways I cannot. But before I divulge any of the particular details, you should consider whether or not you truly want to know. Some secrets, once known, can never be un-known. Are you prepared to risk damaging your relationship with Jensen, potentially beyond repair, in order to help him?"
Shaun's head was spinning, and a sick, uneasy feeling had settled into his stomach. He'd just wanted to ignore her, or maybe yell at her for freaking him out, and now he was having to consider if Jensen's friendship was more important than helping him. "I-I don't-" he started, then stopped again and exhaled slowly. Fuck. He wanted to say no, just go back to being whatever they were to each other, but he couldn't. Between Jensen's reaction and Tessa's seriousness, he had to be in trouble, and he knew he couldn't live with himself if he didn't do something to help him, even if it cost him his friendship.
"Yeah," he said finally, scrubbing his face with his hands. "If he's in trouble or someone is hurting him... What choice do I have? I have to help him."'
Tessa studied the other teen soberly for a handful of moments, then flicked her fingers over the top of her tablet. "Then I will show you what I have learned. For what it's worth, I think it is a great credit to your character that you have opted for the more difficult route. It is, in my opinion, the correct one." She flipped the portable device around and pushed it toward Shaun. Prominently displayed on its screen were the medical records she had copied from several different hospitals in the Boston-Cambridge metropolitan area. It would, to her mind, be more effective than any attempt she might make to put Jensen's situation into words.
"I am sorry."
Shaun took the device and began to sort through the file, his brow furrowed. A sick feeling started in his stomach started halfway through, that feeling of dread only intensifying, even though he was still having trouble coming to the conclusion. On his second read-through, the pieces started to fall together. The medical records became much more frequent after 2003, two or three reports a year of fractures and breaks, cuts bad enough to need stitches, never the same hospital or urgent care clinic within the same year. The past injuries never reported on intake forms.
"Oh, fuck," Shaun finally muttered, and pushed the device away quickly. His parents abused him. He felt sick and angry, at Jensen's parents, at the headmasters for not doing anything, at himself for not seeing it even irrationally at Jensen for never saying anything, though he quickly rebuked himself. He felt like he was on fire, and it showed as he turned his head, looking at Tessa as he hissed, "How could you use this against him?"
Seemingly unperturbed, Tessa collected her pad and rested it between her elbows, regarding Shaun levelly. "Your roommate is not the only student at the Institute with secrets he would prefer not become widely known," she said. "I simply traded my silence for his; I used nothing against him. There was never a need. But silence, I think, will not lead Jensen to any desirable outcome, nor will continuing to suffer alone. I am bound by my word, and I do not think he would accept help from me in any case. What will you do?"
It seemed like the same thing to him, but he didn't want to argue about it anymore, especially when faced with that question. "Fuck, I don't even know," he said, scrubbing his face again and leaving his hands in his hair. How the fuck had no one done something about this before now? What was the fucking point of having a telepathic headmaster if they couldn't sense this shit?
He sighed and shrugged, putting his hands down on the table. "I'll have to think about it but...talk to him, I guess. To start. Fuck, he has a little sister." Christ, if they abused her too...The thought made him sick to his stomach. "Talk to him, talk to the headmasters if I have to."
"That seems as reasonable a place to start as any," she nodded. "However, I would caution against pressing too strongly for him to confide in the relevant authorities; he will do nothing, I think, that he perceives will jeopardize his sister's happiness." Misguided and potentially hazardous as that perception may have been. But that was an issue to be addressed at another time. "Of primary importance is assisting him in understanding that there is nothing inherently shameful or damning in his predicament. His affable exterior conceals a place of deep fear and pain and betrayal. He may respond with hostility to any attempt to probe it."
"Yeah." He had a feeling it was something like that, if only from the fact that it was easy to see what you did in other people. "Yeah, that's a good point. I won't say anything to them at first. I'll just talk to him about it."
He pushed his chair away from the table, pulling his books into his lap. He needed to get out of here and think, somewhere alone where people couldn't read his thoughts. "I still don't agree with what you did, Tessa," he said quietly, and he just sounded tired, "but thank you. I'll do what I can."
"In the balance, I think it may be better you do not," she replied, her eyes turning back to the flat screen of her tablet. "I did what was necessary, and what is necessary is only infrequently kind. It is one of the more unfortunate aspects of the circumstances in which we live." Tessa glanced up at Shaun a final time. "I wish you all possible good fortune in your effort to assist Backlash with his emotional turmoil. If there is any aid I can render in this regard, please do not hesitate to alert me straightaway."
"Thanks, will do," he said, tossing off a mock-salute before turning away. "See you around, Tessa." And with that he checked out his books and headed out, eager to be alone.
